I’ve never felt so small and depressed. It’s been an emotional roller coaster the last few days, and my husband and I had a massive argument (as I posted before) and when he got home it was a lot of me crying and pleading for forgiveness for making an ass out of myself. I feel hopeless. I feel so discouraged and I don’t want to be here anymore.
It’s 6:30 and my husband went to bed. And I’m just sitting here beside myself wishing with all of my might I could make this go away. Just for a second.
I just need to vent it out. I need to cry it out. But I feel like I have no tears left. What has my life become? Why am I like this?
Hey Aemb
Sorry your still struggling. This first week is a bitch. It’s really hard. It was for me anyway. And my wife drank the whole time. It wasn’t easy. Emotions and feelings start coming out and we just don’t know what to do with them. Because we’ve always killed them by drowning them in booze. Do you do any meditation?
You still out there?
I use the Breethe app. There’s lots of apps out there these days. The guided meditations helped me a lot especially in the early days. And I was depressed a lot to. But mostly I was angry. I was so angry everyone else could or can drink like a normie. But I can’t. It isn’t fair.
Take a real hot shower. A long one. Have that good cry. Let it out. Get comfy and try some relaxation techniques. It helped for me.
One last thing. Have you found the time to talk to your husband about your sobriety? A good honest talk. When you’re both calm and happy enough with each other. You mention a death in the family. Finding the right time right now could be difficult.
I actually downloaded this app and hid it from my wife. I was too embarrassed. After about a week or ten days I made myself tell her and talk to her about it the app and my sobriety while we were walking the dogs in the morning. She was very supportive and understanding. But she said she is going to continue to drink. So I’ve made the best of it. It’s not always easy even after 600 plus day. Check out my gratitude list from this morning if your willing.
I hang out on the gratitude thread more than most other threads. I find it starts my day off nicely. And it works.
Also may I suggest checking out the checkin thread. Instead of starting a new topic every time. It’s a pretty cool thread to be accountable and get and give support. You are not alone.
You’re always here to respond to me it feels like, and you have no idea what that means to me. Thank you.
I have had a conversation with him. He’s really helping me and holding me accountable when I feel like I am too weak to do so.
I’m downloading the app now. I was looking into that one and some mental health apps. I feel better now. I’ve just been on the couch. Im glad I didn’t cave. Im still depressed but. That’s something I can change and work with and build off of to feel like a better me.
Just your luck I guess. Nah. I believe God puts the right people in the right place at the right time.
Well we both have spouses that drink.
If you are downloading the Breethe app use the search. They got sobriety meditations. Loosing weight meditations. I’m using the no sugar one right now. They even have election stress meditations
If you’re not use to guided meditations it takes practice. Try not to beat yourself up when your mind wonders. Just bring it back to your breathing. After years my mind still wonders.
As far as the depression goes. I just had to sit and feel it for a few days sometimes. If I didn’t drink. I won. That was my only job. Don’t drink. If I did nothing else and didn’t drink. I considered it a good day.
Take care.
I’m headed out for dinner.
Til next time.
I feel you…I couldn’t stop and my husband left me on my last drinking day and that’s 5 days and we haven’t spoken for four. All I can hope is to keep not drinking and he’ll come back. We want our relationship or our drinks…. If we pick our drinks in the end we’ll regret losing love more…you got this
