I am still triggered by men treating me like dirt. I was honestly believing a thing might happen legit between me and a guy on my worksite. So nice in person. Bur he jas my # for work reasons, i only have his work #, he asked me to send “pix”, i said well it might be ok if inhad his personal #, which I don’t think is a lot to ask… he wouldn’t give it to me and continued to ask for pics via his work number. I asked if qe could hang out outside of work sometime, here is his text response “no pics”. That’s it. I didn’t respond and he texted, “c u 2 marrow”. I said, “indeed, sir”. Cuz i have to go to the site for work. I am used to dealing qith this level of disrespect and objectification when dating online, vut this is a FOREMAN and his company pays me to be there for my tasks. I am with a subcontractor. Wtf. So yea. I caved. The fucking sinkhole opened up and sucked me right in. I’m sorry.
You think maybe he wouldn’t give you his personal number because he didn’t want his wife to see these correspondence? Just a thought
Hey lady…sorry to hear about your troubles. The way that humans treat other humans often caused me to fall down a rabbit hole of spiraling questions and a sense of hopelessness. But here is the good part…someone trying to objectify you is a mark on their soul, not yours. What’s the Eleanor Roosevelt quote? “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.
Pick yourself up after this slip. Reconfirm your goodness as a person each day by choosing yourself by not taking a drink. That darkness is something HE has to deal with in his own soul, not you…you ain’t got time for that! You have time for you! And being awesome. Keep up the good fight lady.
Much Love,
Ely
That was my initial thought.
Regardless of that though, people will only treat you the way you let them treat you. Set up boundaries for yourself, and make sure others respect your boundaries. By asking for his private number you invited more of disrespect.
Someone asks you for pics, say no, you’re not that kind of person.
Hi. This guy sounds like a douche, I should know, I’m a reformed douche.
I’ll let the folks who have tried it at home let you know not to date in the first year of recovery. I’ve never had the opportunity so I’d just be blowing smoke. But I feel for you, I really do. I want you to be successful in your sobriety and I know what it is like to fall down and fall down but I always got back up. That’s all you have to do. Get back up, own it and move on.
@SmokeyMirror said it all. Getting sober takes so much mental and emotional energy. My advice would be to try to find sober friendships with good boundaries - people who will support you and not trigger things that you know will trigger cravings. And run the hell away from any guy who asks for ‘pics’ before he has even given you his home phone number. Hang out here - lots of great folks who will be honest with you and help in any way they can.
Oh yeah I’m a pro at weeding out the bad apples. Hard pass on this one. He’s not even good at being a bad apple. Zero out of ten. Would forget.
Oh i thought that immediately
I never thought of that. I am still my desperate for love self. I say I don’t want it, but I do. It was too easy this time. I can’t help feeling it is me, i am not worth respecting. But, yea, if I’m willing to be disrespected by being acquiescent to someone hitting me up that way, i am coming off as a woman who welcomes it
The cycle of addiction is tough to break no matter what the addiction is. Are you familiar with SA or SLAA?
I have zero self esteem. I have been taken by men since I was 13, I don’t know how else to do life. I take these incidents as adorable ignorance, like the man doesn’t know how to navigate women. Turns out, I’m the ignorant woman waiting to be taken in. Damn
No i am not
Ignore those lowlife scum. Karma will deal with them. Stand up, and get back on your path. It’s all about you, and only you.
Ghandi said… no one can abuse me, without my permission.
I give permission all the time
Oh, fuck. Are you kidding me right now?
Why do you ask if he is kidding you?
Try to remember that as a woman, You have all the power. Please Don’t give that power away. The man should be chasing you. Wooing you. Impressing you.
You give all that away the second you give a pig of a man a picture of yourself. You are better than that. Keep your power girl!
I just am like, fuck… another problem I might have?
Are you still going to refuge recovery?