Oh thank u!
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Late to the party
Hey Stella, whatās DBT,
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Heya! Never lateā¦ always partying.
DBT is a type of psychotherapy that was initially modeled to help people with mood disorders primarily Borderline Personality Disorder. There is evidence that it is amazing when treating mood disorders, suicidal ideation, and for change in behavioral patterns such as self-harm and substance abuse. So it is a mixture, CBTā¦
acceptance with a Buddhism feel. No digging in the past for shit, dealing with today.
Marsha M. Linehan is the woman behind it, lots of cool stuff to read on how she came about with DBT.
Everyone could benefit from itā¦ especially the interpersonal effectiveness module lol.
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Yeah Iām gonna have to read it over, My life been a shitshow as of late.
This is the first time in a long time i had urges, not to numb just to have a taste, and suicidal ideations I always struggled with when I feel nothing is gonna change.
Itās awesome @Its_me_Stella i told you before youāre my favorite mod right? Lol
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Haha 
There are a lot of YouTube videos you can look up, quite a few done by Marsha herself.
Sorry you havenāt been feeling well, if you are up to it jump in here with us and work through some of your shit.
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Will do, add It to the YouTube playlist,
Since we last talked I changed meds, these ones seem better level me out more, but I didnāt learn much In therapy, it was like oh how was your week like I was talking to a friend or something.
Im just learning j need to say no to people more regardless of the outcome
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There is a complete module of DBT focused on interpersonal effectiveness skills, here is a website that sums it up well if you want to take a look.
DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills: The Guide to Healthy Relationships (sunrisertc.com)
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I appreciate you so much
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I also appreciate you.
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Skills in Action!
So the last few days I have been actively using skills that I have learned throughout the DBT modules. For most of my life I have made rash decisions. When I have been asked to do something for someone, I get anxious and flustered, and I usually just say yes because I feel bad saying no. In the past, my whole world has quickly become too full of responsibilities. I end up working too hard due to my perfectionist tendencies. When things started to go sideways because I was overwhelmed I would beat myself up and then a vicious cycle of guilt, shame, and self-hate would start. This added to the plethora of shame cycles I already had cycling.
Last week, when I was propositioned to take on a position in the area of NA I used some pretty valuable skills from interpersonal effectiveness. I maneuvered through that particular conversation and didnāt walk away as the PR chairperson, nor did I walk away, having lost my chance at attaining that. PR chair is exactly where I want to be, just maybe not right now, so I needed some time to think about it. I now know that I am worth those extra 7 days to think about it.
One of my favorite things about DBT is simply the Dialectic way of thinking, that there is always more than one side to anything that exists. That opposites to many things are both important. Just knowing this allows me to act in a much more open-minded way in all situations. I can want the position and not be ready for it right now. Seeing as I do not know exactly what the position entails I am curious about it which is also a dialectic skill. I asked for an information package and I have been calling many people in the program who have been in service for decades to see what their experience has been like. I called my sponsor, " Do you think I am ready for this?" Through working a very, very tight program of recovery I know that my best ideas get me into words of trouble so I am very willing to take suggestions from others.
So for me, some very important opposites that need to be balanced in my life in order for my recovery to stay healthy are:
- working and resting
- doing things I need to do and doing things I want to do
- focusing on myself and focusing on others
I have been working through Pros and Cons which is another skill taught in DBT in the Distress Tolerance section but I am just using it to decide between two courses of action. When I finish up my list after I have coffee with a few more old-timers next week I will update you on what I came up with. I have a feeling I will not be taking the position, but I have not made up my mind as of yet.
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This is amazing work!! I so appreciate you sharing your process. Thank you!!
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DBT has been so helpful for me. I have been doing DBT since last October and it has changed my life. I am less angry with myself and less anxious. My BPD has gotten better, and I have a healthy relationship with an amazing young man who I have been with for a couple months now. And I donāt think I could have this relationship without DBT honestly
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Hey Aura, welcome to the thread. Which module are you working through right now?
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Getting new people! So going back into mindfulness
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Going back into Mindfulness:
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Stop Judging/Blaming. ITS EASY! Instead! try FIXING!!
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Mindfulness physically changes the brain for the better.
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āI donāt have to do everything with every thought I haveā
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Let the uncomfortable times be what they are! Donāt attach!
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EVERY HUMAN IS VALID!!!
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āIf youāre depressed; go clean your ovenā - Zig Ziglar
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Wisdom = applied knowledge/ being aleffective with your knowledge
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Wise Mind: is a checkered board of Reasonable mind and Emotional mind.
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What Skills
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Observe
- notice body sensations
- pay attention, on purpose, to the present moment
- wordless watching
- watch your thoughts
- thoughts/emotions/body sensations ALL follow each other
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Describe
- allows us to have the conversation with ourselves and others.
- unglue our interpretations and opinions from the facts
REMINDER
IF YOU CANNOT OBSERVE IT THROUGH YOUR SENSES, YOU CANNOT DESCRIBE IT! - Label what you observe
3.Participate
- Become one with whatever you ate doing
- Throw yourself into the activities completely
- A state of oneness
How Skills
- Non-judgmentally
- stick to the facts
{Separate the WHO from the DO}
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One-mindefully
- one thing at a time
Let go of distractions
- one thing at a time
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Effectively
- focus on what works
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I am also learning to not detach. In the past I have either held on too long or never addressed. Finding that grey or the āwise mindā is coming more naturally now but I still need to be aware. Always learning. 
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Going into Emotional Regulation! Heres my notes from the first day:
Purpose
ā to understand and name your emotions
ā to decrease the frequency of unwanted emotions
ā to decrease emotional vulnerability
ā to decrease emotional suffering
OVERVIEW
ā what emotions do for you
- WE NEED EMOTIONS!
ā factors that make regulating emotions hard
- lack of skills, myths, and biology
ā a model for describing emotions
- complex responses
ā ways to describe emotions
- observe, describe, and name
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Did anyone make friends in their time in DBT? I just made one, i got her number and everything! Im so excited to finally have a friend in this state! Sheās the sweetest! Said she would call me Aura! (My own treatment team doesnt call me thatā¦.)
Just curious if any life long bonds have formed from anyone taking DBT.
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I was in DBT and there were maybe 10 others in the group. 1 lady there became a fb friend. But it stayed as that. It was hard honestly for me to connect with others as everyone was at a very diff place mentally and needing to focus on themselves (same with me). I havenāt kept in actually contact with anyone from years ago in that group. Butā¦ im excited for u tho!
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