Thanks Salty. I know there are folks who avoid this thread purposely and we don’t need to add to that, for sure.
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No I did not. That’s a movie. This is a sobriety forum, and I’m trying to support people of all shapes and sizes and discourage the use of derogatory terms, particularly in light of those with body dysmorphia, disordered eating etc. as it’s been mentioned in the past, particularly in regards to this thread.
I was just gently trying to encourage avoiding those terms. And you counter by asking me if I take offence to a movie
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@Mindymoo why is fatness a source of humor, I wonder? Even @Dazercat has been on his own journey of weight loss. I won’t speak for him. I will speak for myself that it was hurtful to read those words and the corresponding “humor” coming after. No thank you. Let’s keep this thread on point.
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I realize it’s a joke. I pointed that I realized it’s lighthearted, but it’s the terminology I’m referring to. I see some are not getting my point. So I’ll drop it. I’ve said my piece. If we don’t speak up about language, things don’t change.
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I guess she did delete her profile. Tell her hello if you chat with her!
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Yes, I also hope she comes back. She made a joke that was taken out of context by a couple of people here and some back and forth happened.
It’s a shame because Mindy had recently celebrated her 30 days and took a break and came back sober, admitting she was overwhelmed and struggling a bit.
That’s why I say to everyone out here, if you read something you feel is offensive, don’t automatically attack. Take a breath, read something else.
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I think a lot gets lost in translation sometimes, but I liked her words for some things, lol
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That’s an excellent point - and that’s why the flag buttons exist. 
It can be tempting to be “the hero” online and go to battle for or against (perceived) X or Y or Z, but the truth is - especially here where everyone is coming from a place of being wounded - no one here knows all the angles. No one knows the full picture, especially a reader who’s getting emotionally reactive and feeling primed for an attack post.
The truth is that “hero” behaviour is vigilantism - making myself judge, jury, and executioner - and it’s not my job to be a vigilante. Vigilantism is being reactive - controlling and/or reacting to the world around me, based on my feelings in the moment - and that is textbook addict behaviour. 
The impulse to react and attack is a sign I have some personal work to do: that’s all.
What I need to do is flag - use that tool in my sobriety toolkit - then go somewhere where I can take a breath.
A flag is a request for help from helpful people in the community: “I need help, we need help, please can someone be a supporter here and help to clear the air so we can breathe.” Moderators get a notice, and they come in, a calm third party, and do their work behind the scenes to settle things and help people get their feet back on the ground, so everyone has the maximum chance to stay sober and healthy.
Getting sober isn’t a walk in the park and it never will be. The more we can do to keep ourselves in track, and use helpful supports, the better we’ll be.
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I am very grateful for the help of moderators. They rock.
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Been a member here a long time. I’ve seen plenty of people come and go and even come back again. I can assure you a lot goes on behind the scenes that you are unaware of.
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Absolutely. Some things were not seen
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One thing I have told everyone here…when it comes to jokes, memes, and humor…100% know your audience. This place is open to every single person that lives on the planet.
An example. I was a sailor, and still have a sailors humor and potty mouth. My first wife was a minister, and had friends accordingly. I kept my speach and humor in check around her friends and and peers…not because I had, but because I respected them. As I got to know them, their outlook…a little more of me came out.
(Hence why you will find very few of my memes or jokes on here)
Jokes and humor always goes both ways. If I say a joke that offends some one…I have 2 option. 1) eat some humble pie and appologize, or 2) move along and make it the othet persons fault for being offended.
As my sober days rack up, I find…a lite humble pie and apology goes a long way
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I’ve found a lot of people think society is overly sensitive until it’s something they are sensitive about.
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I love the office (both versions) and vile humor generally. Laughing at that is different than using words that hurt people in real life. Sure, an online forum isn’t “real life” per se, but it’s a vulnerable lot we’ve got here, for the most part.
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If someone calls a gay person a “fagg#t” should be just let it go and not be too sensitive? What about a racial comment? Or using the “R” word regarding developmental delay? I’m sorry. I’ve bitten my tongue far too long and sometimes things need to be spoken up about. And I believe it was done so in a proper, kind way; not an attack. The attack back, however, was notable. And bringing up issues not related, including how people are too sensitive and “initials” and their issues with pronouns? Please. Respect is respect; what country you’re from doesn’t matter when it comes to respectful language, on a thread where people have issues with body dysmorphia. As a healthcare worker, I see the devastating effects these can have on both young & old people. Whether it’s a nine year old girl purging because someone called her a fat bastard or someone cutting their wrists for bullying them. Sometimes we have to speak up on behalf of others. Language matters.
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Y’know who’s good at light, edgy humor of a kind is Chuck Lorre. Starting back with Roseanne (which granted, went a different way with the remakes due to personalities). Making a show that danced around nerves on “middle class life.” Watching it though, it was in some ways very relatable and true to life which only made it funnier. My own family related a lot.
Big Bang Theory was similar. I became a scientist as that show got popular and had resentments for how much it played on stereotypes. Then I actually watched it for a while and laughed. Cuz… If I got over myself for a minute it was actually pretty damn funny (and accurate), but also in a very human way.
For the hat trick he also produced Mom. Yet again, as I was coming to terms with being an alcoholic. And yet again, it was surprisingly accurate and heartfelt in a funny way.
Sort of a tangent I guess. But when I think about the humor part of it, I’m pretty impressed by Chuck Lorre and how he can make light of awkward situations.
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I see we’ve been moved to the derailment void again, and I find that funny! 
This seems to be getting out of hand. I wish you all well. I’m jumping out.
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Thank you Matt. Always a good reminder when you see something that seems off.
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Can we rename the flag to the englishd memorial button. Seems fitting
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