I just need to speak. Im currently detoxing. Day one. I have relapsed more times then i can even count. Just getting clean from another extremely dangerous binge. Drinking a liter everyday for 11 days. Shaking like crazy. Head is a fog. I cannot believe im alive. I have ruined my entire life from alcohol. Got myself a temporary sponsor until i can find one. I have gotta do the 12 steps. No other choice anymore. Did treatment but have never tried worked thr steps. Im so unbearably depressed. Before treatment was in rollover completely wasted. DUI. Then treatment. And that wasnt enough to keep me clean. Thankyou for letting my express my emotions. Im so lost.
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Happy to talk to you regularly fellow day 1 again-er.
I suffered terribly from depression most of my life. That was 1 thing I needed to take care of and have through a doctor and medication. I resisted the doc & medication for so long but it’s made a huge difference since I accepted them. Now I need to apply this to the rest. We need help from others.
Keeping in touch with others who understand (even strangers) is clearly essential to our own sobriety. Being by myself too much in my own thoughts is a huge danger zone.
Again - happy to be here for you. I know all too well that lost place.
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Hey JoeDogs
Im very happy to recieve your reply. My brain is just fog. So depressed. Nothing but negative thoughts. Shaking. Happy you are getting clean again. Im withdrawing pretty itense right now. Thanks for letting me express my pain.
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Hello! I am new here (and super anxious and nervous, filled with emotions). Emotions I have suppressed for so many years. My much heavier drinking began when I was temporarily laid off from work for the first time ever in 2020 during COVID. I had such bad panic attacks that at one point I fainted, hit my head, and when I woke up my husband was on the phone with 911. That’s when the drinking started, slow at first, then progressively worse. The constant pressure of my career and the cost of living in the Bay Area consumed me, and the temporary lay off was a huge set back. When I returned to work, I was never really the same. Then, the drinking slowed, then sped back up, then slowed, then sped back up… but each time it ramped up it got worse. I would take a break hit then go right back to it. I drank so much this past weekend that I was blacked out for most of it. I am so ashamed and so depressed. I too have the shakes (on day 2) and my insomnia is so bad that I jerk awake and can’t fully fall asleep. This is the first time in my life I have ever spoken/posted out loud and my anxiety is so high. I am thankful to have found this and I hope following along with others’ journey on this support platform will help me. I want so badly to be better. Alcoholism runs in my family and I am so, so frightened. I feel like a broken 36 year old child. :,(
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I feel your pain. The insomnia is terrible. Please stay strong. Thanks for sharing your story. I can relate entirely. I wouldnt wish detoxing on anyone. Its a living hell.
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Yeah man those are tough days and nights. Are you able to check in to detox for some immediate help?
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Thank you both for being here, you’re presence in this world is so important and I know we are strangers - I have struggled with the suppression of my emotions my entire life and this is making me emotional. I’m finally have to feel them for real when I admit these things and it is so hard. Talking about emotions is so hard and I commend you for sharing your truths. If it gets really bad, I may check in somewhere, but I am so hoping I can push through this night. 
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Stay strong. We can do this.
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Welcome! I was born super-anxious & nervous so you’re not alone!
Binge drinking never gets better, only progressively worse. Alcoholism also runs in my family. We can focus on that or take charge of our own sobriety.
Very happy you took the 1st step to reach out to others. Its truly freeing to speak with others who truly understand.
Stay in touch. Happy to listen and help.
Hoping i can power through.
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Sorry, sounds like you’re already in detox. I need to read better!
Hang in there man 
there are absolutely better days ahead.
Thanks man. I just pray mybody can hold on one more time. I am scared.
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Praying for you. Stay positive 
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Thanks, appreciate you listening.
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Sending you strength and peace. This can be your bottom, that is your final straw that makes you finally turn it around. You get to make it so. The steps helped me immensely. Do them to the best of your ability, and see what happens. Maybe the obsession to drink will be lifted the way it has for many of us.
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Thanks so much, i pray this is my last time going through this. It is god awful. Ready to whatever it takes to stay sober.
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I hear your pain. Sending strength and peace. What is your plan to quit? A program that leads the way and provides support can really help. AA, Recovery Dharma, SMART. There is lots of help out there. It sounds scary to take it, but there are lots of people just like you and me that get in trouble with alcohol (and other addictions). You are not alone.
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AA 12 steps. I have to work the program and get a sponsor. I have a temporary sponsor right now. I cant believe im even alive right now. No way should someone be able to consume as much as i did and live. Its a miracle. Just hope these withdrawals dont get worse
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Hi ! I am on day 2 ! Happy to have found someone that is starting also ! Don’t give up , stay with me
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Hi ! This app has helped me as well ! I’m only on day 3 after a blackout that caused my fiancé to be very mad at me. He’s not talking to and won’t come near me. Sucks. Happy to be here responding to you. It’s better than being alone. Hang in there ! Stay strong
With me , we need each other
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