I started out saying I was taking a 30 day break. It was much easier for me to grasp and to explain to other people. I actually posted about it here back then. After 30 days I thought I could keep going, so I did. The longer I went, the easier it got and the better I felt, so I’m on day 150 and pretty sure this is a permanent decision.
The fact that (at first) quitting drinking was literally the WORST thing I could ever imagine was a good wakeup call for how dependent I was.
Today is day 11 and I havent decided to never drink again. I’ve decided to not drink today, for 11 days in a row. I dont know what the future holds for me, but I’m liking the differences in me so far.
This is how I’ve handled it so far too. “I’m taking the month off drinking.”
I also started by taking a break. That was difficult enough to get my head around! While I do feel like this is the way I want to live, forever is a bit of a daunting prospect, I remember posting that and @Englishd said something like the only thing I’m certain I’ll be doing for the rest of my life is breathing - and that’s so true. We can’t be 100% certain of anything in the future, best just to focus on today and deal with tomorrow when it happens 
A really interesting question. And touches the core of the healing process. I wonder if I am completely decided. Sometimes I feel so weak. I don’t trust in myself. I started like you but I know if I don’t take a strong decision I will never be completely healed. I pray for that
I decided to quit long enough to hit some financial goals, and take my husband on a trip for his 40th bday. I gave myself 208 days to accomplish those goals. The first few months were an emotional mess, and I was exhausted.
I had planned on drinking until I blacked out on day 209, but when I reached 209 I had no interest in alcohol. I am 540 days without alcohol and cigarettes.
I am debt free. My stomach issues have cleared up. My relationships with people have mended. Pretty much every aspect of my life is a million times better. It takes a bit to really start seeing and feeling all of the good, but it’s definitely worth it.
I like to say that I tried things one way, and that wasn’t really working for me, so why not give another way a try? This new way is just working out better for me.
That’s a truly amazing story. Just curious - why did you initially choose 208 days?
That was a tough question for me. I definitely didn’t want to live just didn’t have the energy to do anything about it
This thread was just what I needed today…
208 days was the day I decided to take a break, to my husbands birthday. It was a random number. I had been telling myself it was about time to start saving for his birthday, but wasn’t ever actually doing it. Then I went on a 3 day bender. Waking up from that was when I decided to take a break, a few days later when I was still hungover, I decided it was time for a very long break. A 208 day break. 
Thank you for sharing this! A big part of my motivation is to save for my/our wedding 
This is so inspiring. Thank you.
I am not sure if responding to my own post from just under a year ago will make it come up again as recent, but I hope it will as I need some encouragement.
I quit drinking for forty days last Fall, and it still feels like a huge accomplishment- something I hang onto to remind me I can do it again.
I don’t think I am willing to quit forever, but I know I need to make a change. I’ve started hiding bottles again so they don’t overcrowd the recycling. I’ve started drinking whole bottles of wine and by day three of doing that, I can’t even get drunk.
I’m getting married on August 17th, and I would like to stay sober until that weekend. I tried setting this goal two weeks ago, and for some reason I wound up drinking way more.
I’m lethargic, spending too much money, bruising too easily, and getting nosebleeds. Everything but the nosebleeds have been issues before and may have nothing to do with drinking, but I am not sure.
I’m setting a goal for 50 days- starting yesterday.
Day two!
I thought I had decided. I mean why would I search out a sober tracker on the App Store if I didn’t think I needed to quit drinking? Unfortunately I wasn’t ready to do what I needed to do yet. I spent 2 years starting and stopping. Every time I quit I stopped for longer than the previous so I was making progress. But FINALLY I realized that I HAD to stop. No more dicking around. If I wanted to live I couldn’t drink.
No one can tell you you have to quit forever but from personal experience hiding bottles and hiding booze is huge addict behaviour. I know forever is scary but what will alcohol give you in the future. What will alcohol give you for your wedding other than a bad hangover and possibly memories you don’t want if your special day.
Take it one day at a time. Focus on right now. You can do it.
I can’t speak to forever, but I don’t plan on drinking today. I’m also getting married on August 17.
Welcome back! Your story sounds familiar, including the part about not being ready for forever.
First off, good job on recognizing something needs to change. And also valuing your previous sobriety so highly.
Starting off with a goal can be helpful. For me, I wouldn’t want to drink on my wedding day again (been married twice, drank at both, did coke at both). I wish for a do over in being sober, but that isn’t possible. What a treat it would be to have felt so clear and healthy and regret free around both weddings. Hopefully you will feel so good sober you will keep going thru your wedding and beyond. It gets even better as time goes on. And drinking, well, nothing new to learn there. You feel like crap, do stupid things and sometimes eff up your life in major ways. Where is the fun in that?
All that said, you get to decide. Some advice, don’t worry about forever. Just stay sober today. When tomorrow is today, just stay sober that today and so on. Focusing on the present day makes it more manageable.
Maybe also find some other more healthy stress releases since wedding planning is stressful. Maybe take up running or go for walks, hit the gym if you like. Yoga? Meditation? Read more? Find something you like that will occupy your mind. Also, keep some sugar free Lifesavers around…they will help.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and good luck!
I’ve been trying controlled drinking for years, while in the back of my head I knew my addiction was only getting worse. I started 2019 of with a sober month which lasted more than 2. Then thought I could have one now and then on special occasions. It didn’t work and by May my drinking was worse then ever (binging 3 times a week and drinking 2 bottles of wine on my own at home).
Quit again June 1st, the thought that I never could have one again scary and unacceptable at the time. Had one bottle of wine after 2 weeks, alone at home. I totally didn’t like the effect. I quit straight after, day 17 now. I know it’s still very early days. But I am convinced now I cannot drink occasionally or opportunistically. I am an addict. I need to refrain from my drugs of choice. Just none. Not ever again is still scary and huge. So I’ll take it one day at a time. But the aim is to never drink again.
It would maybe be worth reading up on addiction and how it works so you have all the facts at hand to make a sound decision on the matter.
Do you have to figure out why you are drinking? This is an unpopular opinion on here. I quit for about 6 months and checked my mental health. I found out I had some issues I was covering up with drugs and alcohol. Drugs were the main problem. I fully quite doing drugs, but I still drink every once in a while. To do this you have to be honest with yourself. Are you truly addicted to alcohol? Then quite it’s the only way. Be honest and take a hard look at your life, and if you can’t do that alone. Go to a therapist or something. I would stop fully until you figure it out. You might find out you just like life better without it. Good luck!