On my Day 1, my thought was “I need to not be drinking RIGHT NOW, because it is unsafe for me and possibly others”. I had in mind something short to medium term (like many times before) until I sorted out my mental health. I spent a lot of time reading other people’s stories here and then on my 20th day, with the support and encouragement of folks here, I walked into my first AA meeting. I sobbed through it and said that I don’t know if I am ready to quit drinking, but I know I need to not drink today.
Those folks loved me when I wasn’t able to love myself, and I kept going back to meetings and to this forum and engaging in 1-1 therapy. I’m now at 8.5 months and my mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health has never been better. I still stay in the day, but when I am struggling I remind myself that my mental and physical health would take a nose dive (even with intensive therapy and figuring out my stuff) if I picked up a drink today.
I drank at my first wedding and that ended so badly that on my wedding night I slept on the couch. In fact, every wedding I have attended (including my own) I was trashed and made an ass out of myself.
Welcome back! I think you’re certainly aiming for the right target by being here and reaching out. Congratulations on day two!! Whoop whoop!!
I always thought that “forever” just seemed like a stupid crazy concept. I kept thinking of all the scenarios where I wouldn’t be drinking and it almost broke my heart. Like the ending of a relationship that I’ve been in for 14 years. Do I just throw those 14 years away??! I just move on and leave it behind??!! Finally one day I pictured all those scenarios without drinking and it seemed bright and sunny, happy. It really is like being in an abusive relationship. I got manipulated into thinking I needed alcohol. Some days were good, some were bad, towards the end they just all seemed bad. For me, I need to end that relationship forever and that’s my goal every day.
Good luck and good luck with the upcoming wedding!! I ended up getting super drunk at my wedding and I very frequently remember it with regret. A long term goal of mine is to stay sober and then hopefully we can renew our vows sober too.
For me the penny dropped when I realised that I wasnt craving a beer, I was craving escape. A friend recently said ‘you will drink again tho right, you much fancy a drink?’. I told him that the thought of one drink was hell to me as it its not what I wanted. I wanted all the beers and to get out of my own head. Therefore moderation simply isnt an option. It took a long time for me to realise this tho.
I started reading this topic from the beginning and was bummed it was an old one because it’s such a good question with so many great responses. Then I saw @ftw reappear! I’ve made a quite a few cameos on this forum myself, glad to see you back. Day 2 here, restarted probably 30+ times. I always erase the addiction so it doesnt keep count of the restarts because it’s so lame to see. Hope to see more of you and you of me.
Right around 60 days I turned a corner and I was no longer struggling to abstain from alcohol. That’s around the time I went from quitting as long as I can to being comfortable with the idea of quitting forever.
I was reluctant to quitting for good because I felt that alcohol defined me. But the longer I was sober, the more I realized it doesn’t define me at all.
One thing that helped was learning what alcohol really does to your body, it’s not pretty!
I just watched a documentary on Prime about the life and death of an alcoholic, which goes into all the gory details of how alcohol affects your body and mine.
I haven’t hit that point of no return yet, and hopefully nothing like that ever happens to me. I want to live a long life, somehow, despite all the shit I’ve put my body through.
Sometimes it feels like it’s already fucked so what’s one more glass of wine.
To answer your original question, when I quit this time (nearly six months ago) I knew I was done forever. Prior to that I’d made countless attempts to quit because I knew I “should”. But I didn’t really want to. Partly that was because I still believed the lie that alcohol was benefitting me in some ways, and part of it was because I was not really seeing direct effects of my drinking.
But by late last year, I was regularly drinking half a bottle of wine most days of the week (not much compared to some I know, but maybe my body’s tolerance is low). My anxiety was sky-high, my patience was rock bottom, I’d put on several kilos and I felt like drinking had become an obligation rather than a pleasure.
I wanted to feel better, to sleep better, to lose weight, to stop thinking about drinking all the time. When I had the completely obvious revelation that I could just quit drinking and all those problems would immediately become hugely more manageable because alcohol was not actually giving me any benefits at all, I was able to stop without any trouble.
In the last six months I’ve lost all the weight I gained and more, my patience and anxiety have swapped ends of the scale, I feel great, I sleep great, and I never feel any desire to drink alcohol. More than one of my friends are now considering quitting drinking for a year as they can see how well it works for me.
Choosing forever gives you peace of mind. I highly recommend it.
Generally it’s the things we don’t want to hear are the things we need to hear the most. Hugs and back pats aren’t going to get you sober. Direct action and following the suggestions of sober people will. I hope you keep an open mind going forward. I will pray for your success in sobriety.
This is similar to myself the daily comfortable routine of pouring my time and money into a glass to tell myself I needed it to get past the day I had or will have tomorrow.
Taking time away form other things I could be and would like to be doing.
Same for me. I told myself, I enjoy a certain way of living. But more and more I couldn’t hide that this has been a big lie.
My decision is for today. More is stressing me, than I come closer to drink again, I think.
I wish you a lot of strength! No matter what though, it would be smart to talk to some kind of medical proffessional about your situation, preferably one you trust, as you never know what help you might get.
