Hi everyone! Happy to be a part of this supportive community.
I have been sober for 16 days.
I haven’t decided if I need or want to quit entirely. I just know that I feel better the more days I get under my belt. My drinking was making me feel ashamed and guilty. I was spending way too much money and hiding the wine bottles because I drank too many.
The streak is what motivates me but I haven’t decided yet what this means in terms of a decision to remain abstinent for the rest of my life.
Did anyone else start out this way? How did you make your decision?
I had to prove to myself that I couldn’t drink safely. And prove it I did. That being said I decide not to drink or use each morning. I wish I could predict the future but that’s to hard so I don’t worry about not drinking forever. I just worry about not drinking today. If I ever feel like ruining my life again then I can easily just pick up a bottle.
I’m pretty much in the same place. Drinking is not working out for me, I don’t know why I am not the casual social drinker I once was. I still hold on to thinking I can go back to that but reading the posts here tell me that that will only put me back where I am today. I don’t know what my life looks like with no alcohol, my social circle revolves around booze. Admitting out loud that I need to quit drinking made me cry. I guess I won’t worry too much about what the future holds and I’ll just worry about getting some days under my belt. Maybe then I’ll think more clearly.
I decided, I needed to do something… my drinking was getting out of control. It became a normal routine, like waking up to brush my teeth. It was a part of my normal pattern… the pattern was starting to shrink dropping out things that should had been a higher priority.
Not decided when I started this journey but determined. I knew enough that I was not getting anything positive from alcohol, so I was determined to figure out if it was me or the alcohol. 100 days later, I can blame us both. the ill effects of alcohol have not changed, and I am always improving with out it. So now it is determination to keep it going.
I was pretty wishy-washy the first several times I “decided” to quit. I’d drink again and be able to moderate for a time. It was more than being embarrassed though. I went through a lot of hellish, dumb, blackout, idiot times and still hadn’t quite “decided”. My decision would last a few days, then I’d think, this is dumb. I can drink. But this last time, now 18 days ago, I made a final decision, did things very differently and reinforced the idea through podcasts and being on here and reading and doing inventories that drinking is not safe for me to try to moderate. Like, I know I could go have one beer right now. And be fine tomorrow. Then tomorrow have another, and another, and within days or weeks I will go overboard, have an emotional trigger /“fuck it” moment and be binging, and drinking in the morning, and driving drunk, and blacking out, all over again. So, to answer, yes. I did start out decided. This time. And only this time.
I have tried to quit a few times but I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to completely close that door. I’ve hit different types of rocks on the bottom, come out scraped, bruised, embarrassed, and currently have a best friend not speaking to me.
About two years ago, I started experiencing stomach problems that seemed a lot like gastritis, so I found a group called Women for Sobriety, bought the book and emailed someone about going to a meeting. I even created a new email account I subsequently closed.
I know that the path I was on was going to kill me, even if I didn’t have any concrete diagnosis.
Alcohol seemed the most likely explanation for my ailments.
However, I took it like a medicine, and much of the time, the velvet red tendrils of wine just made warm tangles around my aching heart.
I am trying to keep my eye on the long game, when maybe I can find relief without the wine, but for now, I am still experiencing stomach issues.
I’ve read online that it can take months for the exhaustion to go away, but I had that before too! What if the benefits never come?
I didn’t start out decided. And I went into rehab too lol. I went in thinking maybe once I heal from all the deaths and trauma I’ll be able to control my drinking. I’m at 60 days now and I know I’m decided, I know a sip is not worth the risk for me. It did take me awhile and my doctor says ya know you don’t need to make this decision yet let’s just stay sober for the year, (which was my goal).
As far as gastritis I have that too ugh it’s awful! Worst pain ever! Mine didn’t go away until maybe 20-25 days? I have no acid issues anymore at all. I know in the beginning I still had that as well as other number two issues but I was eating better and drinking a ton of water- my body was adjusting to the new normal and still getting rid of toxins.
Ps I love wine too lol one plus though is way less sugar I’ve lost 13 pounds so far and each week I’m still dropping weight.
I spent about 3 months sober once but wasn’t really committed to it. I find myself being the type of person who let’s the rope go long until I just get fed up, then I’m done. Dead-end relationships, unfulfilling jobs, toxic people. When I hit the end of my rope I tend to leave it and never look back. That’s how I feel now, though I find this the hardest yet - to be strong enough to brush aside cravings, make different choices about what I do, who I see and where I go. Even my bedtime routine and eating out habits had to change. But I “decided” and I’m committed. I just pray my strength and stamina will take me through this marathon.
Great question! I couldn’t think of remaining abstinent for my life at all at first. But I ultimately came to that conclusion.
We all have reasons for quitting in the first place, and it was so difficult to take that first step. But admitting you’re quitting for good is a tough thing. So just take it a step at s time. As you continue each day you start to think clearer - and be glad you quit.
Oh and this happened to me on my second try. First time I quit for a month and thought I”I got this” and I drank. And soon I was back to the same amount as before - a bottle of wine each night and couldn’t break the cycle…again. Same thing everyone here will tell you.
So I was DETERMINED my second time. I’m done.
Congratulations on the 16 days. It feels good, doesn’t it?!
Yes. I lied to myself several times over thinking that because I could go two weeks, 2 months, or even 6 months without drinking that it must mean that I’m not an alcoholic. There’s quite a bit of literature on this that made me understand that even if I am sober for 10 years, if I just pick up the first drink, I’ll be right back where I started. I have reset this app like 20 times. This time is different for me- I just can’t do it anymore. Like you said, hiding the wine bottles, feeling ashamed, etc. What it finally took for me was reading about how all of the reasons drinking is supposed to be beneficial is just one big giant fucking lie. It’s not relaxing, it’s not good for your body, it’s expensive, it’s harmful to relationships- and one of the reasons people have such a hard time quitting and staying sober is because a.) it’s an addictive drug, and b.) it’s the only drug in the world we make people feel guilty for NOT taking.
It’s seriously messed up. What is it about drinking that you love so much? Do the pros out weight the cons? For me the moment of anxiety relief from a night of drinking was followed by days of: self loathing, depression, more anxiety, mood swings, weight gain, etc. That’s what I had to ask myself… is it worth it? Will the outcome ever change? No. In the end you have to decide for you that alcohol sucks and that you’re done with it. And if you do, there’s a great community here to support you!
Thank you! I definitely get the whole one day at a time logic. The latest research that says any more than 5 glasses a week will shorten your life is confirmation of what I have been feeling intuitively. I see it as an adventure— going into the unknown, as all of my adult life has been affected by booze. I have lost a lot of time that I’m excited to recover.
It wasn’t until I embraced “never again” that I became truly free. Before, sitting on the fence, I always fell back to the wrong side. Moderation didn’t work. Short breaks didn’t work. I always repeated the same cycle: break. Drink a little. Drink some more. Drink a lot.
Of course, your mileage may vary. Just telling you what my drive was like. Day 266 since the last drink I will ever take. I will never put those chains back on again.
I’m definitely a “quotes” person. I love finding quotes that resonate with where I’m currently at in sobriety. I’m still a youngin’. I only have 25 days under my belt, but I can already see the positive changes, so why not make it to day 26 and see where that takes me?
I started out undecided. I’m on day 133 and am pretty sure I’m never drinking again. But I don’t like the enormity of that statement, because for me if I fail after I’ve decided to do something, I’m really really hard on myself. So one day at a time is my motto for staying sober. And I don’t see that fading. But today I don’t want to drink and I’m not going to. That’s how I stacked up every day since I started.
A few years ago I sought out the help of a counselor feeling much the same way. At the time I got help, went to some groups, dried out. The counselor knew my story and strongly recommended quitting for good. Either opting for an intensive outpatient program or attending AA on my own time. It was my call to make though.
Nah. I was good.
A few months later I started drinking again. First a little, then every night. Then a lot every night for a couple more years
I was not so good, I guess. So this time I’m just done with it!
Many times, it was pointed out to me that my drinking was becoming an issue and after each embarrassing night out, I would apologize and say I agreed and wanted to change. I would start out moderating and controlling my behavior just fine a few weekends out, then I would go right back to binge drinking. I never meant it or truly considered slowing down all those times others told me I needed to take it easy. It wasn’t until I had thrown myself to rock bottom and realized I was destroying myself and losing everyone I loved before I decided that I was done. I had to realize that it wasn’t worth it anymore. I had to take ownership that alcohol was not doing me any favors and that I do not have a healthy response to going out for a few drinks - I cannot stop. I am a few days away from 8 months sober for the first time and I could not be happier about my decision. I feel so much more prideful in myself and know that if I had continued drinking, things would have gotten much much worse. Pay attention to the positive things not drinking alcohol is doing for you and your life and you will find your answers. It’s a long and frustrating process that I never thought I’d make it even this far through, but it has been so rewarding to have overcome so much. Focus on the positives and all you are gaining rather than what you believe you have lost and I guarantee you won’t even see the point of drinking anymore.
my motto for staying sober. And I don’t see that fading. But today I don’t want to drink and I’m not going to. That’s how I stacked up every day since I started.