OK. I’ve found you guys. I’ve been reading through topics for a fews days and it’s so good to be around people who understand where I’m at. I can’t talk to anyone IRL about this too much…too much pain and history.
I want the happy, confident me back. The me who actually likes herself and enjoys life, rather than just getting through it. The me my family deserves and needs.
Day 2 down. Here it goes!
I’m glad you’ve found us too 
This place was a Godsend when I found it my first attempt.
Your story is so similar to mine it was like I was reading my own post! Started at 14, out-drinking my friends and blacking out. Hard drugs after high school, but drinking was always first. Pregnant at 26 1/2 (now that part was just weird, lol). Lying and hiding my drinking from loved ones. And just letting everyone down.
I realized that the best year of my life was 27, and it was 100% bc I was completely sober. I was happy and healthy. I turned back to drinking when there were problems with my daughter’s father and we ended up separating (he’s an alcoholic/addict as well). Got back into drugs again and, as suspected, everything turned to shit. I attempted to quit in 2019 but covid ruined it for me(i know i did, but damn that shit was hard). Now I’ve wasted too many more years being wasted (I’m 36 now).
It’s good to hear that you’ve been able to abstain for such long lengths of time in the past. Right now(5+ months) is the longest I’ve ever had apart from being pregnant or the 6 months I got to wear a very expensive state appointed ankle bracelet 
You’re doing the right thing here. Stick around and you’ll meet tons of us going through the same thing.
I got to a point eventually where I decided to try AA. That changed my life. It helps you understand yourself better and teaches you how to accept everything that comes with addiction. (Just a suggestion if you ever need more support).
Lovely to have you aboard! Let’s get some more time under our belts! All the best 
Welcome aboard, and thank you for your honest and poignant story. You can do this and you derive this🙏
Dang. DESERVE!! Not derive!
Welcome and good luck , speaking from my experiences think the realisation this time is a good sign in all my other attempts i was doing it for other people or to keep them quiet knowing in a few months id get back on it but 82 days ago i was done and this time it was for ME i was sick and tired of the lies the money problems and all the horrible things i did i wanted better , everytime i get a craving i remember that and so far with this forum its worked im closing in on 90 days and ive never gone that long even after going to rehab 
i truly believe u will get there this time as YOU want this be strong 
ADAAT
You did it before, so I’m sure yoy can do it again! 
A familiair story is whatI was reading beside the drugs (ok, did some weed ones).
But my to go to was alcohol and I was sober every pregnancy to start drinking when they where born. Quit for 5 years and thought I was cured so started to drink again.
In moderation ofcourse, but after a while that failed too.
So 5 years ago I came here for help.
Within 2 months I hit the 5 year sober again.
Being here on TS keeps me focussed and I can ask for help when needed. There is loads of info to find (use the search button above this page).
So welcome here, you right where you should be 
Hi, welcome! It’s great to meet you. This place is amazing, come here whenever you’re struggling or just to see what’s going on daily. Look forward to seeing you around! 
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I cant believe how similar our stories sound, especially that we got pregnant at exactly the same age 
Congratulations on 5 months, that’s amazing! I look forward to when I can share that milestone on here too.
Look forward to seeing you around 
Thank you for the support! Yes, moderation never works does it, I knew that when I started again but that sneaky little voice tells you otherwise 
5 years is such an achievement, well done!!!
Thank you I do and my family too!
I hear you! I tried to stop many times for other people-my parents, friends, husband, but never really wanted it for myself. I spiralled between thinking I was OK, or that I deserved the misery I was causing myself.
Well done on nearly 90 days, you got this…as you say ADAAT 
Good to meet you too 
I’m sure I’ll be checking in here a lot so I’ll see you around
Evening of day 3 and Friday night…trigger time. I’ve tired myself out in the garden today, had a long bath and dyed my hair. Just enjoying a big bowl of fruit with chocolate cream to try and curb the sugar cravings.
I slept really badly last night, constantly waking and had weird ass dreams. I know better sleep will come though.
I think I’ve got this night sorted 
Just need lots more like this now under my belt.
I’m so glad you are here. Life is so much better sober. True freedom. I was 45 when I was finally able to accept and move on to better ways of living life. Gratitude changed me profoundly. Still does. Welcome to TS!
Thank you. I’m glad to be here! I used to have a gratitude journal, I need to start that up again, it helps keep the positivity flowing
Saturday night done! Just settling down into bed with a book. I went shopping for presents today and also got my lip pierced with the money I would have spent on alcohol. I thought some instant, rather than delayed, gratification was in order to help me stay focused. I’m going to start a little savings pot though and use it for something fun in the future for our family.
We had a lovely meal out with my in-laws and their children, lots of people drinking but I didn’t feel tempted to at all. My danger times are more when I’m home alone though, so I know that’s when I need to be vigilant and plan ahead.
Night all 
Good for you! Being home alone was also a trigger for me. I think just bc of boredom mostly. Hopping on here can definitely help you out. There’s so much to read, the time flies by. And hopefully the craving will too.
I used to have my lip pierced too. For a very long time. (Another thing we have in common, lol) I bet it looks good on you! Keep up the good work 
Yes, boredom for sure but I know I also use it to stop my thoughts, which I need to process now, and as a ‘time out’ to escape from adulting for a while, if that makes sense?
Signing off on another clear eyed day here, I had a 3 mile walk with my dog and a friend then a nice relaxed afternoon. It feels good
I hope you are having a good day/evening✌️
Welcome, I’m fairly new and 43 days sober. This is a supportive and uplifting space to be.
43 days is awesome-way to go!
