Last time I tried to stay sober, I don’t think I took it 100% seriously. I did last a few years, but in the back of my mind I always thought I could eventually live like others and have a few drinks again socially. I didn’t really believe others who said that’s impossible.
Of course that didn’t end well. Now that I know for sure I can never have anything with alcohol ever again, I almost feel handicapped or like I have an allergy. I’ll miss social gatherings and drinking something that loosens me up enough to enjoy it. I won’t miss drinking by myself every day until I’m sick and pass out. Which is where the problem lies.
Maybe handicap is the wrong word. Knowing I can’t do something that others do occasionally to better enjoy social situations feels like I’m…that.
Now that you know you won’t use alcohol again because it is a poison, set yourself free!
No more hangovers!
No more alcohol based anxiety!
No more dehydration headaches!
No more blackout drinking mysteries!
No more drunk driving!
No more drunk behavior!
No more negative consequences from alcohol!
More money!
More free time!
Better mental health!
Better physical health!
Better sleep!
Peace of mind and spirit.
If you are at the point where you understand you won’t drink the poison anymore, well that is the moment to celebrate your freedom.
It turns out you can have fun, you can be with people. You are wise enough to care for yourself.
Hi Sonny, well it’s great that you’re going sober again
I think if you look a sobriety as a handicap, you will always struggle with it. If helping us to chill out was all alcohol did for us, none of us would give up. But, it’s not all that it does. It ruins our health, relationships, and opportunities in life. It makes us feel awful physically, and makes us regret things we do and say.
You feel the way that you do because you think that alcohol still has something good to offer you. It doesn’t, and the cons far outweigh that tiny ‘chill out’ pro. That chilled out feeling lasts for the first couple of drinks, then you start to feel less and less in control of your body after that. It’s just not worth it. You’ll never be able to have one or two, then call it quits. It’s the harsh truth.
I fell into the moderation trap too. Most of us have. After 13 months sober I thought I had control back, and I was so wrong. That led to a downward spiral of 14 more months of alcohol abuse. I might as well have not bothered going sober all that time. I hurt my mind and I hurt my body, all because I wanted to drink like other sheeple.
There’s a great author / coach I think you’ll like. The reason I think so, is he covers this notion that you feel like you’re missing out on something, and he does an excellent job of getting you to see the other side of the coin, and why it’s all BS.
Craig Beck is the author / coach, and he has written several books. His first was ‘Alcohol lied to me’. I have this on Audible as well. He also is on YouTube and has plenty of videos to follow on there, and he has his own Facebook group for members. I haven’t gone as far as the latter, but the option is there.
Do look into his books and videos, I think he will motivate you and change your mindset.
I don’t think of it that way, no. Noone would feel sorry for a child attending a party because they aren’t allowed to drink. Do you remember that feeling of pure joy you felt when younger, just enjoying being with friends? I like to think of that when I feel like I am missing out. And as @LAB says, think of all the amazing things you gain.
I felt that before I committed to recovery and during the early days. I no longer feel that. My sobriety has given me a freedom that I’m not willing to part with. Without sobriety, I’m chained to alcohol. A poison. Society has been duped, my friend. One day at a time.
I think you’re missing the bigger picture, alcohol may make you more sloppy and therefore more likely to engage socially or dance or something but once you’re into the every day drinking alone and hiding it from others to try to cover up the quantity you’re consuming that’s no longer going to help you socially.
I think there is something really important here. You have your belief and this is the basis of your decision. Be it a conscious decision or an impulsive one. We have to change our beliefs to make different decisions. And I think that surrounding yourself with sober people, reading here you can change this belief. You can discover that life is worth living without alcohol. that it is difficult, it has light moments and that it is way easier to navigate all through this being sober.
Yep, I definitely don’t look down on drinkers. I’m only 35 days sober, I’m not exactly in a place where I can look down my nose at anyone who drinks
If I may be honest about it though, in my head I’m thinking ‘my God, do you even know what you’re drinking?’. I don’t vocalise this though, it’s not my place. Though, nobody should need telling about the dangers of it, when it has been globally advised that there is NO safe amount of alcohol to drink.
Yes, I felt that too in early sobriety. It comes from thinking that alcohol still provides something. Whatever it gives in ‘looseness’ in social situations, it takes away with sloppiness, forgetfulness, shame.
Alcohol is one category of beverage. It can be avoided no problem, same as vegetarians avoid meat, or some people avoid spicy food.
In a way I consider being an alcoholic my superpower. I say this because some of the finest people that I’ve ever known to walk this planet are recovering alcoholics. I’ve put so much work into myself as a human, work that I would’ve never done had I not been in recovery. I’m a million times better for it.
I do believe what I was told now. When I was going to AA I don’t think I really did. I still had in my mind that I’m in total control of everything. Or most likely I was lying to myself and in denial.
I know how bad it’s been for my life and how it’s ruined the lives of others. Losing jobs, friends, and health isn’t a good thing. The depression that eventually came after a hard night of drinking was the worst. The aunt I mentioned who lived to be 99 liked bourbon. She could have a small glass then leave it alone, where I’d have the whole bottle gone within a day or two. I could never have a stocked bar in the house like she and my grandparents did with bottles that are decades old.
I agree with what LAB and everyone said. I have a lot of amazing memories as a kid before becoming dependent on alcohol and infusing it in almost every social situation. There’s still a lot of building that needs to be done. I keep noticing in movies how people are walking around with drinks at cocktail parties or sitting around talking with bottles of beer, then thinking that can never be me again. That mindset of missing out or not being like everyone else has to change at some point.
Well I was going to reply but @Dan531 stole my answer lol
I also consider it to be my superpower. I appreciate everything in life way more than most normies that I know. I also know that I can accomplish anything I want to do, because nothing will be as challenging as getting and staying sober.
Being a sober alcoholic lets me see everything through a different lens and I truly appreciate even the small things now.
When I get the “I can’t” feelings I remind myself of the times toward the end of my long drinking career. I remember knowing that if I went out for dinner and had a drink it would be a long night. I have a memory of sitting at my old bar and my bartender friend asking what I wanted and I was stumped. Nothing sounded good, probably because I knew I’d end up having ten.
I’m an alcoholic so I don’t drink one drink to relax and make a social situation better. I drink all the drinks, and then I try to find more until I pass out. Not every time I drink, but enough to deter me.
If you keep romanticizing that first drink you just might take it. Keep focused on that 10th drink.
[quote=“TrustyBird, post:15, topic:165096”]
I have a memory of sitting at my old bar and my bartender friend asking what I wanted and I was stumped.
I, too, remember the pause. I was thinking “I’m gonna be drinking all night so what do I want to choose that I can have a lot of.” I always loved the tropical fruity drinks but that’s not an all-nighter drink. Thank the good Lord above that I finally saw the light and gave up all of it.
Superpower, indeed! @Dan531@Nordique took the words right outta my mouth. Didn’t know my own strength, capacity, worth, depth, heart … till I got sober. Likely I still don’t understand it completely, but I know that I am a BADASS and You Are, Too!
I would agree this is the wrong word. Ethyl alcohol is a toxic substance. Some can tolerate it in small doses. Some (particularly those of southeast Asian decent) can’t tolerate it at all. I don’t care how “normie” someone is: if they drink enough alcohol, they will die.
To use the word “handicap” would imply that our natural state of being is to be able to drink alcohol with little to no effect on our bodies, and the inability of a segment of the population to do so is an aberration from the natural state.
I choose to look at it this way: sobriety is my mutant super-power. I don’t need a drink to “loosen up”, or shuck off a tough day. I don’t need a drink to relax, or “put me in the mood” for sex.
Alcohol is a crutch for so many people. I don’t need a crutch. I’m not handicapped.
I dont think of being an addict as a handicap, although i do understand what ur saying. In fact i think of it being the entire opposite. Bcuz of my life experiences and being in recovery, i have discovered things about myself that i would have NEVER discovered if i hadnt been an addict (for example my spiritual connection or being able to help others who also struggle with what i used to struggle with). The way of living i have today as a recovering addict, is greater than i could have ever imagined it to be.
This tho i do agree with. I definitly have an allergy to drugs and alcohol bcuz i break out in debt, handcuffs, despair, loneliness, etc the list goes on n on. Just like if i had a peanut allergy, i could never have just one without experiencing severe consequences
Given the element of choice to drink or not to I wouldn’t consider alcoholism a handicap. True disabilities do not have such an element of choice in the outcome. I think that is the personal responsibility aspect of addiction. Its self deception for me to just blame my overuse of alcohol on a handicap or illness I had no choice in.
