So I’ve made a complete ass out of myself, yet again. I got drunk and blacked out, yet again. However this time I decided to send my sister in law some pretty nasty text messages because of something she had done that had upset me earlier in the day. I’ve been holding onto some anger towards her for awhile now for something that happened over a year ago, and I feel like I snapped the other night and everything came spilling out via awful drunk texts. Some things I didn’t even mean and others are things I would never have ever said to her, let alone be so mean like that. I’ve hurt her beyond belief and I feel so awful about myself. She has told me we can be cordial going forward but that our relationship is over. We’ve been very close for almost 9 years so this really hurts. I hate that when I drink I have a hard time knowing when to stop and next thing you know I’ve blacked out and let my emotions and anger take over. I feel horrible
Sorry this happened to you. Time to get to work at getting better I guess as the feelings you are experiencing suck, I can remember feeling like that. You might not realise it now but time is a healer and it is possible to repair broken relationships.
There’s a great truth in the saying “actions speak louder than words”, through your actions you can show her how sorry you really are and if you get sober and live in recovery sober then you will have a chance of forgiveness. If you carry on drinking I can pretty much guarantee you things are going to get worse.
Making positive changes is the key to recovery, positive changes are not always things you will enjoy at the time, but these make us grow as human beings. Nothing changes if nothing changes as they say and we get trapped in the cycle.
I had to make lots of changes to overcome alcohol, I had similar situations to yours with blackouts and it felt awful. I decided to go to AA and get help, it was part of my change and helped me identify the other changes I needed to make, it’s not the only way to do it, but it’s readily available and works if you work at it.
What changes are you going to make? Start thinking positive and focus on these and you can get better.
I hate that feeling and can respect what you are going through. I was really, really bad with my phone when I would drink in access. I’ve made my sister feel bad about something very personal to her because I don’t know why. I can’t even begin to think of the number of times I had asked women over to “just cuddle” or whatever and made myself look like a total douche. And I’ve texted business associates, in most cases, telling them how underrated I am or explaining to them whatever million dollar idea I had at the time. I’m not sharing this to take away from your post, only to let you know that you are not alone.
This may or may not help, but what helped me, drunk or sober during those times, is to use the note app on your phone. Always write it there first and then sit on it for a night. It allowed me that release of angrily typing on my phone but often prevented me from ever sending those words through text.
Try not to beat yourself up. I feel strongly that time will be your friend in helping to mend that relationship.
I’ve been on the other end-getting the texts or phone calls from my sister. She’s said some really harsh things over the phone while she’s been drinking. And I ended up distancing myself from her. She stopped drinking and slowly things got better. I’m sure that will be the case with your SIL if you show her change with actions.
Let go of the guilt and just work on NOT being that kind of person again. Alcohol is your enemy (mine too).
Damn… I’ve so been there. Drunk texts, saying rude or mean shit to so many friends. Waking up the next turning beat red due to embarrassment… thinking to myself this isn’t who I am… I would have NEVER said or done those things, while sober- FML! If I ever told my mom her response was a good laugh and “time to face the music !..”. I’m sure you have apologized and are trying to make things right again. Good thing is after you quit, you don’t have to wake up with this feeling of regret/these kind of memories anymore. Hope you’re feeling a little better.
Oh wow… the drunken messages. I am the biggest culprit for this. When I worked on the bars, I had a "Text my ex"story as an icebreaker for guests. So i’d start pourig their drinks and i’d just look at this person i’d never met and say “I text my ex last night”. Same response every time “oooh how did that go?!” Great for tips and comedic value but it was actually true, i had indeed text her 7 YEARS after we split! It used to wind me up when I drank because she was the first and only person who ever played me and Id never let it go. I have now.
I also met this incredible person who I really wanted to stay in touch with and thought itd be a great idea after a bottle of vodka to message them all sorts of bizarre messages. She knew i was an alcoholic and cut contact with me there. Big regret.
Ultimately, we have to be responsible for our actions whether drunk or sober. All you can do is stick to your plan and keep getting better at being sober so it doesnt happen again.
This topic has just made me cringe about what I’ve done in the past. The ones that come to the front of my mind.
It got that bad I looked for an application that could permanently block your phone for a number of hours you chose- so if anyone can design apps do this I reckon it would be popular
-messaging a neighbour and ended up going round and trying to sleep with her
-texting my ex of 6 years
-texting my Mrs friend saying I wanted to marry her
-abusive messages to work colleagues
-buying various things on the internet
-buying other things that are illegal on the internet
Using the note app is a really good idea! I never thought of that. So often I find that when I’ve drank like that all this stuff from my past that I’m hurt by wants to come out so I want to release that onto my mom for something that happened 10 years ago, or like what happened the other night and how I released it upon my SIL. That’s a really good idea thank you and thanks for sharing your story too.
She’s known about my drinking habits for the last couple of years and how they’re hurting me and I’m sure she could tell I was drunk by my texts. I’m praying that with time and never ever doing that again we can reconnect. Thank you
Aww man, Drunk Amazon deserves it’s own thread. haha.
I got to the point that when I wasn’t drinking and saw something I wanted, but had the sense to say “you don’t need that”, I would still add it to my cart because I knew that drunk Aaron would get it for me later that night.
Something funny, I have looked for the exact same kind of app. When I black out like that and check my phone the next day to see the people I’ve text or the stupid social media posts I’ve made…ughhh so cringeworthy
Ya… almost lost my wife and son due to drunk texts. Very lucky I did. She had enough faith in me to stay around. After I continued to drink after the fact. That ment bad trust issues. Now that I’m sober, our marriage is better, I got rid of social media, and we are doing awesome.
Good luck my friend
Yes the feeling is awful…I have tried apologizing and taking responsibility but she’s obviously very hurt right right now and rightfully so. Kills me to think I’ve hurt our friendship. I’m going to just give her space and reach out to her at another time down the road.
I’m happy to hear that things worked out for you and you stayed strong enough!