Hello all. This is the first time I have started a topic, so bear with me. I tend to ramble.
I have noticed that there a few people with similar numbers of days to me in the other groups. I suspect that, like me, they started out with the intention of having a dry January after a ridiculously excessive Christmas period, but have loved the difference that it has made in their lives. I am in that in between place where I know I don’t want to drink any more, but forever seems impossible. I’ve heard it said in here that we can’t give up for 20 years today.
Dry January is an excellent starting point for me because it isn’t too long (and as such too threatening), but it ends tomorrow - and I really want to stay dry. It has been easy so far telling people that I’m doing dry January because lots of people do it, but when it gets to February I’m going to have to come up with something else.
I guess I’m looking for a group of like minded people to join me in trying to make that transition from trying it out for January to making it stick longer term. You don’t have to be a dry January-er, all are welcome.
Who’s in?
It’s true, I thought that after I posted. It’s nobody’s business but mine. Still a few friends in here sharing the same experiences would be good.
I can so relate to this. Forever was daunting, so I kept it (and keep it) going one day at a time, and the longer it goes - it just keeps getting better and better.
For explaining it to people? If I’m offered, I decline and say “not today, thanks”. If I’m asked why, I keep it pretty light. “I am drinking. Water. It’s a beverage. You should try it!” And if I’m pushed? I say “for me, I think I’ve had my fill. My glass (of life) is half full when my wine glass is out of use.” 
These have worked so far for me, but I’m 50 and have adapted social circles to accommodate this (or socialize without me - lol!)
I’m excited that you want to continue the journey! Stick around here - you’ll definitely be with your people. 
EDIT: and yes, I’m in too!
I am in!!!
I find what helps me a lot is not thinking about forever. Because really we don’t know what our forever is. The only day we truly have is today. When I keep my focus on today, life feels more manageable.
You sound like you want sobriety and are enjoying it (I am the same!). I say be proud of your sobriety. It makes you feel proud, I hope…it sure does for me. And it lifts my self esteem and confidence and I am not anywhere near as much as an asshole when sober. All wins!!
So yes, I join you in a Fabulous Freaky Alcohol Free February!!!
I’ve got one for you!
“No, I’m good thanks, I don’t drink”
There’s nothing wrong with it.
It’s funny. I feel a strange responsibility to keep the conversation going, since I started it.
I have been reading This Naked Mind, by Annie Grace over the last week or so. It really has helped me a lot. The timing has been perfect, and the message is great. We are not giving anything up, we are escaping from a destructive thing. We shouldn’t feel that we are missing out, we should be counting our blessings and reveling in the positives.
Has anyone read it? I’d be interested to hear your thoughts. I mentioned it in on of the other groups, but it got drowned in everything else that was going on in there.
I hear you, and the adult in me knows that to be true - but whenever I meet someone who doesn’t drink, I immediately fill in their back story and it rarely looks good. I would prefer for people not to make those assumptions about me - despite them being true.
You don’t owe them any explanations nor are you accountable to anyone but yourself. As far as other peoples assumptions go, let them assume - it’ll last all of 10 seconds before they retreat back into their own sense of self awareness. Truth is, no-one really cares if you drink or not. It’s your business and I don’t know about you but in my time of sobriety when I had it, I used to say “I don’t drink” and I said it with absolute God’s honest pride.
Hello Tony, I never read the book but, I’ve heard of many others on here talking about it. If you search for it there are a few threads. I’ll try pasting one.
That’s great. Thanks a lot Petr. I’m still trying to find my way around here.
I hear you, but my brain does what it does. It cares what others think and it knows what it thinks of others. I’ll give it a try.
I’m in too!!
Forever was scary to me as well, so I just do it one day at a time like most others on here. I read This Naked Mind in 2018 and made my first stab at sobriety thanks to the info I learned in that book. I was sober about 9 months and decided to moderate. I soon learned that moderation was not possible for me. But I don’t think about the future—just today.
There’s a chat app for This Naked Mind on the apple store. I also check that one from time to time. I think they would also be a good place to check out but the chat format is a little clunky.
I listen to the podcasts whenever I get a bit of a craving. Love it.
Loving the idea of a fabulous freaky alcohol free February.
Free February works. We could start a movement.
Yes. Humour is my get out of most situations. I’m sure it’ll be fine. I try to hang out with good people, and good people understand stuff.
@Singtone, I am currently reading ‘This Naked Mind’ too, about halfway through. It has helped put a lot of things in perspective for me so far. 
I stopped drinking December 12th. For me, the easiest is to just say that I’m not in the mood, and leave it at that. Then I don’t get all of the follow up questions. It’s not that I don’t want to tell anyone, its just none of their business. And alot of people think when you say you stopped drinking that you had some sort of legal problem, like a DUI, or get shitty blackout drunk daily. I dont thinkbi should have to go into an explanation, so therefore I just go with “I’m not in the mood”
When I was 11 days AF, I joined the 30-day Naked Mind experiment that had been mentioned by a fair number of folks around that time. I just did a google search and it looks like it’s still going. 
https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/the-alcohol-experiment-registration
Nothing really to lose. It’s free. You do have to provide an email address so that the daily email can be sent to you. It contains the link, and often a video or two. There is daily homework, but what you put into it is up to you.
Anyhoo, it’s just a suggestion. It’s not for everyone (although it is especially good for folks who are at the ‘planning to get sober’ stage). As always, take what you can use, and leave the rest 
I found the book and the 30-day experiment a good combo to keep me on track in those yucky early days, weeks, months… 
I’m in. It’s OK not to drink!
Hey there…congrats on your dry January! I did a New Years start as well (3 years ago). Started with Dry January. Everyone gets on board with that with little to no questioning. It also segued perfectly for me after. When February rolled around and people offered me drinks, when I declined and they asked why, I just said “oh man…that month made me realize how terrible drinking made me feel! Why would I start again?!”
Not only did it explain my drinking…but also normalized the idea of not drinking…when you put it to people in such common sense terms, they almost feel silly for questioning why you’re not deinking. Deciding to NOT drink is really, IMO, one of the most natural choices we can make! Congrats again on being sober!