I just said “oh man…that month made me realize how terrible drinking made me feel! Why would I start again?!”
I like this. I might just switch it to, ‘That month made me realise how great not drinking made me feel. Why go back?’…as Laura said in post one.
Thanks, Ely and Laura…and everyone else.
I realise I don’t need a reason. I’m 50 years old, for a start, and pouring poison in is far less natural than not pouring poison in, but it is the norm, socially.
It certainly should be…
I will definitely give this a look. A 30 day challenge for February sounds ideal. Thank you.
Eventually, everyone you are close to or see on a regular basis will know that you dont drink anymore. I found it freeing once most people knew.
Like Sassyrocks said though I find peace in trying to just stay present. So when someone asks me now I just say I dont drink. If they press for more I give as much or as little of my story as I want to give in that moment.
Sounds like a plan, Ed. I wouldn’t mind, I don’t go out much anyway. I’m just flattering myself thinking that people with either ask me, or give a monkeys what my response is.
I am also in. Dry February, here I come. 
We can do this together. No need to justify even.
The biggest thing I have taken from it so far is that alcohol is an addictive substance and that it isn’t entirely our fault that we have become addicted to it. That has cast out a lot of demons for me.
I also like the fact that the old question that I always used to ask myself…am I an alcoholic, or not, is not just a binary question. I don’t live under a bridge and drink sherry for breakfast, therefore I can’t be an alcoholic. I used to hide behind that so much. Now I understand that I am a long way down the path and in big need of a change.
I like that response. I think I’ll use it next time it fits the need.
Hugs
@singtone, you’ve made a fantastic start! And this is a topic that deserves discussion - how do we perceive our sober time goals?
I got to the place in my drinking where I desperately wanted to stop and knew I did not know how to stay stopped. Then I got arrested again, and was given the gift of focus for my desperation. The judge let me out on bail and the condition that I report to the local police station 7 days a week between 6 and 8 AM to give breath sample. Miss a day, or arrive late, or blow anything other than .000, and I would be held in jail until trial. I gave up thinking about “forever”, I no longer cared about that. I just wanted to get to bed sober every day. And I did that for 5 months, until my plea deal was settled. I got physically separated from alcohol and I developed the attitude that forever was too large of a time frame for me to even contemplate and what I could do something about right now was staying sober today.
I’ve been sober for a long number of days in a row, but I still concentrate on today. Just because I was sober last week or last month or last year is no guarantee that my sobriety won’t be threatened today. And today is the only day I can take an action in. So I’ve been sober since I got up this morning, and that’s long enough for me!
That’s another thing though, Gotno, coming out as a non-drinker is scary because then you’ve got something to live up to. It just adds another layer of pressure.
There’s a few things I need to work out, clearly.
I like response too. Hugs.
Ok. Do you want to do the 30 day no drinking challenge in the link above, starting on February 1st?
Anyone else? Who’s in?
Yes, I totally get that… once you let the cat out of the bag and you acknowledge to others there is a problem you feel a responsibility to do something about it.
That responsibility and the time I have accumulated have helped me a few times in weak moments. So eventually it becomes a blessing.
I already have my counter here on St, so that’s okay for me 
Sounds like the judge did you a real solid here. A great solution for all concerned. I love hearing about things like that.
My thing is that I don’t want a daily battle. It would wear me down in the end. I need to come around to the idea that it’s what I want to do and what I enjoy doing. That’s why I’m taken with the approach in the This Naked Mind book.
Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it.
Fair enough. 
Thanks, Mark.
Yes. I have finally realised after years of failed attempts that moderating is not something that I am capable of. Better late than never, I suppose.
I only had to fight a battle that I never won when I was trying to control the amount I drink. Only weekend, only in company, only every 2nd night, so many rules I mad in order to feel less guilty, stronger, in control.
I failed so many years.
When I crave a state of numbness now, I think, f***, this will lead nowhere, it won’t help. Not even for the time drinking as I would feel guilty right away. So, I had to and still am learning to find other paths, other ways to cope with everyday life. Talking about your problems with some people I trust. Already figuring out that not everyone will understand me or has the capacity to only listen, not solving my mindf** for me. That’s something I have to do myself.
So many things I came to realise, I never had done still drinking or survived. All feelings are transient, that is also true for craving.
Do what makes you happy man. That’s all you need to worry about. Focus on one day at a time.