I find what helps me a lot is not thinking about forever. Because really we don’t know what our forever is. The only day we truly have is today. When I keep my focus on today, life feels more manageable.
You sound like you want sobriety and are enjoying it (I am the same!). I say be proud of your sobriety. It makes you feel proud, I hope…it sure does for me. And it lifts my self esteem and confidence and I am not anywhere near as much as an asshole when sober. All wins!!
So yes, I join you in a Fabulous Freaky Alcohol Free February!!!
It’s funny. I feel a strange responsibility to keep the conversation going, since I started it.
I have been reading This Naked Mind, by Annie Grace over the last week or so. It really has helped me a lot. The timing has been perfect, and the message is great. We are not giving anything up, we are escaping from a destructive thing. We shouldn’t feel that we are missing out, we should be counting our blessings and reveling in the positives.
Has anyone read it? I’d be interested to hear your thoughts. I mentioned it in on of the other groups, but it got drowned in everything else that was going on in there.
I hear you, and the adult in me knows that to be true - but whenever I meet someone who doesn’t drink, I immediately fill in their back story and it rarely looks good. I would prefer for people not to make those assumptions about me - despite them being true.
You don’t owe them any explanations nor are you accountable to anyone but yourself. As far as other peoples assumptions go, let them assume - it’ll last all of 10 seconds before they retreat back into their own sense of self awareness. Truth is, no-one really cares if you drink or not. It’s your business and I don’t know about you but in my time of sobriety when I had it, I used to say “I don’t drink” and I said it with absolute God’s honest pride.
Hello Tony, I never read the book but, I’ve heard of many others on here talking about it. If you search for it there are a few threads. I’ll try pasting one.
Forever was scary to me as well, so I just do it one day at a time like most others on here. I read This Naked Mind in 2018 and made my first stab at sobriety thanks to the info I learned in that book. I was sober about 9 months and decided to moderate. I soon learned that moderation was not possible for me. But I don’t think about the future—just today.
There’s a chat app for This Naked Mind on the apple store. I also check that one from time to time. I think they would also be a good place to check out but the chat format is a little clunky.
I stopped drinking December 12th. For me, the easiest is to just say that I’m not in the mood, and leave it at that. Then I don’t get all of the follow up questions. It’s not that I don’t want to tell anyone, its just none of their business. And alot of people think when you say you stopped drinking that you had some sort of legal problem, like a DUI, or get shitty blackout drunk daily. I dont thinkbi should have to go into an explanation, so therefore I just go with “I’m not in the mood”
When I was 11 days AF, I joined the 30-day Naked Mind experiment that had been mentioned by a fair number of folks around that time. I just did a google search and it looks like it’s still going.
Nothing really to lose. It’s free. You do have to provide an email address so that the daily email can be sent to you. It contains the link, and often a video or two. There is daily homework, but what you put into it is up to you.
Anyhoo, it’s just a suggestion. It’s not for everyone (although it is especially good for folks who are at the ‘planning to get sober’ stage). As always, take what you can use, and leave the rest
I found the book and the 30-day experiment a good combo to keep me on track in those yucky early days, weeks, months…
Hey there…congrats on your dry January! I did a New Years start as well (3 years ago). Started with Dry January. Everyone gets on board with that with little to no questioning. It also segued perfectly for me after. When February rolled around and people offered me drinks, when I declined and they asked why, I just said “oh man…that month made me realize how terrible drinking made me feel! Why would I start again?!”
Not only did it explain my drinking…but also normalized the idea of not drinking…when you put it to people in such common sense terms, they almost feel silly for questioning why you’re not deinking. Deciding to NOT drink is really, IMO, one of the most natural choices we can make! Congrats again on being sober!
I just said “oh man…that month made me realize how terrible drinking made me feel! Why would I start again?!”
I like this. I might just switch it to, ‘That month made me realise how great not drinking made me feel. Why go back?’…as Laura said in post one.
Thanks, Ely and Laura…and everyone else.
I realise I don’t need a reason. I’m 50 years old, for a start, and pouring poison in is far less natural than not pouring poison in, but it is the norm, socially.
