This isn’t a story to glorify Dui’s, this is just what happened.
What actually happened for me to get sober?
It was the night before Thanksgiving, 2020.
I was on a 6 day bender, drinking everyday at sometime till the late night. If I had my son, we would go and play and hang out. The only thing that I admired of myself at this time was I didn’t bring drinking around my son… I had a grand total of half a beer around him and hated those few minutes.. I dumped the drink and that was that..
Anyways,
I was on a bender, I remember going to the bar at 11 a.m and started drinking.. I sat there by myself at this time, feeling hopeless. I didn’t really want to talk during this time because, well.. I just wanted to sit in my own and self hate, then try and block out that with the thing I hated most.. drinking..
A few hours go by, I’m at the next bar and I finally say. God, please, give me a DUI tonight. Somewhere in me whispering that to myself.. I feel this moment.
If you accept, Andre, yes, it will be all done, but you must accept that this part of you is over.
I sat there and felt in my body that I could not do it on myself. That I was lost, hopeless once again and wanted to get rid of it all.
I accepted The party is over..
I went on drinking, somewhere along the lines I stopped drinking for a few hours, I ate food.
My friend asked me to come over.. i said, yeah i’ll be there. It was 8 p.m, I got in my car, drove and skirted out the parking lot.. a cop followed me. I went 4 blocks and took a left not hitting my blinker..
Cop pulled me over. In this moment, i remembered. I accepted this deal prior.
Cop comes up and said, I smell alcohol. You been drinking. I said, “yes”. In that moment of acceptance in all things, I knew, I could feel deep down my drinking days where over.
Cop took me to the cop shop and as I walked in, there was a weight lifted off of me, it was all done. I woke up the next day in Jail on Thanksgiving and cried happy tears.
All the weight, all the pain lifted, the chains released.
Even the guard asked, are you ok?
I nodded, “Yes, I’m just glad to be here, I’m glad it happened like it did.”
I left jail, came here to talking sober, talked a little bit about it, but not in depth.
Since that day, since that moment getting booked, I knew it was over, and I’m so glad it did. I asked God, take it away, and He did.
Once the Dui stuff was done a year later, I did brace myself a bit, because I understand that in jams, and trying to unfuck myself, I start to get super serious about things. But, once the Dui was over, I never desired a drink. Not once through all of this. Through my most stressful times, have I ever said, “I should go drink about it.”
I could of lost everything. My son, my life, I could have killed someone, disaster can strike at anytime. The world is beautiful, but the world is choatic.
If I didn’t stop drinking, who knows what would have really went down.
Dancing with the Devil will eventually burn you, some people can have a beer or two and be done. We are here because we can’t just have 2.
Now, lastly, don’t ask God for a DUI, don’t go and be reckless. This is just my story.
I simply beyond all, accepted that the party was over, that I wanted more from myself, that I wanted hope and joy. Those things are not found in a bottle, in a long night of drinking. It’s a facade. Meaningless.
Drinking left me with
Hopelessness.
Depression.
Sadness.
Lack of confidence.
Lust.
Recklessness.
Hurt.
Pain.
Anxiety after waking up.
Oh the mania, the fucking mania.
Those manic days fucking sucked.
And lastly but most importantly, the pain and suffering I caused on others.
If you think your drinking is based on “I’m not hurting no one else, I’m just drinking my drink.” or, “I’m in control and I am free.”
The reality will come quickly…
A few other notes.
How many times have you sat, drank, thought about your problems did nothing about it, only to do that same thing the next day? The deep cycle will continue.
Hope is on the other side of the bottle.
thought you were a new guy.
What an amazing story Andre. Thank you for sharing.