I thought i was the only one😭 im trying to recover from a restrictive eating disorder and i just cant stop counting calories so everytime i go slightly over them i just “go f it” and literally eat everything. It has become like a restrict binge cycle for me and im terrified i have developed a binge eating disorder instead. I think ill try the meditation too if it would help.
As i am writing this i realize this is an incredibly old post, idk if youre going to see this but i hope it has gotten better for you:heart_hands:
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Alcohol Sobriety Day 23 today! I’ve been looking up health benefits of early sobriety to keep me motivated. Seeing how much my body is healing itself is incredible and keeping my head in the game - especially in moments of weakness.
However, I’m dealing with some early warning signs of severely restricted calorie intake (again) and an obession with burning calories to earn food. I have struggled with body dysmorphia and severely restrictive diets since I was about 11 (23 years now…). I was a child actor and model in LA and the damage is seemingly irreversible. I have good months and bad months, but over the last couple of years (post-marriage) I’ve been doing a lot better. Exercising regularly, but not obsessively. Eating healthy, but not being afraid of an occasional dessert or soda.
But seeing my body shed pounds and de-bloat so easily (and quickly) since not drinking anymore, it’s exciting the part of my brain that wants to be smaller and smaller - never small enough. I’m noticing old bad habits creeping back in (ALREADY) and it’s making me nervous about potentially pairing sobriety and weightloss in my fucked-up brain. I’m worried that it could potentially impact my sobriety journey and end up being a negative motivator rather than a healthy one.
I swear, sometimes I feel like my body is just refusing to embrace balance. It always needs to find something to hyper-fixate on in order to emotionally cope.
Has anyone else dealt with this? Trying to navigate multiple addictions or compulsive behaviors at once and feeling weak for “trading off” one for the other? How have you guys juggled this emotional precariousness? 
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Absolutely. I’m at the end of a dinner break so hopefully someone else hops on soon. Trading addictions is very real. You cope just how you are coping, by talking it out.
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Personally, I had to put the bigger fire out first. I was alcoholic, with cycles of binging and restricting, by using diet pills and starving (the hangovers helped with the not eating). I spent a year concentrating on just getting sober. Then a year focusing on getting off the binge - restrict hamster wheel. The getting sober and not restricting after binging made me put on a fair bit of weight. But I wanted to be stable more than thin, so I kept at it. Then I went into a small calorie deficit to get to a healthy weight. Whether that will help you or not, I do understand what it is like to be playing a whack a mole with unhealthy coping mechanisms. Still doing it, really, but with much smaller swings, and much more awareness.
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I LOVE the idea of focusing on one fire at a time (the bigger one) and granting ourselves the grace of imperfection in our other struggles while we navigate uncharted waters. One day at a time. My best is all I can do. And every effort I can make towards making healthy choices is effort not wasted.
I struggle a lot with perfectionism and all-or-nothing mentality, so I’m trying to focus on progress over perfection lately. Thank you.
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