Em’s first sober weekend

Morning all!

So it’s Friday morning, I’ve got a day of work to get through then it’s going to be my first sober weekend. I feel okay about it just now but I’m worrying that the closer it gets to “wine o’clock” I’ll start wanting a drink but I’m really determined to stick with it. My partner has mentioned going to the shops to get me drinks a few times and I have to keep reminding him that I’m not doing that just now and I need his support. I don’t think he thinks I’ll actually go through with a period of sobriety.

Anyway, I just wondered if anyone had any tips for overcoming the big triggers and usual routine habits? Im almost at my 3 day milestone so still early on my journey but determined to make a change to my life.

Thanks,

Em

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Welcome Em. Congratulations on your 3 days. Great job.

Me personally? I always took really long. Really hot, showers at wine o’clock. Then cooked a nice relaxing meal with lots of sparkling water in my favorite wine glass. Or went out to eat a relaxing dinner and ordered my sparkling water to be served in a wine glass.
:pray:t2::heart:

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Hi. In my experience the partner support is really important. He has to take you seriously and recognize the big effort you are doing. At least it works for me. Its not enough but helps. Another thing that works for me is declaring to other people… I am not drinking… They Watch me strange for a moment but they forget after a minute. Hope its helpful and good luck to you and to me (my first sober weekend too).

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If your partner is trying to slip you up that’s hard but equally if you get pissed off that’s hard.

Not sure the best advice I can give as shorter periods (talking weeks to couple of months) are not difficult for me but I do have plenty of experience with people around me trying to get me to drink or feeling uncomfortable that I’m not.

In this instance I stay chilled and remind myself why I’m doing it. Maybe have a piec of paper with your reasons for abstaining written down or in this app.

In my experience some people really struggle seeing someone take account of their drinking and certainly stopping all together. It puts a spotlight on them. And when people see your life improve it can get very green eyed monster I’m afraid.

Plenty of advice on here to help with the initial period of sobriety. Read them. Lots of YouTube content to help.

God bless :pray:

Come tell us about your sober weekend on Monday morning

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If you want to not drink, an AA meeting is a good safe place to be, even online.

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Hi Em :slight_smile:

I had my first sober weekend last weekend, including a birthday party. I bought a ton of flavors of sparkling water, fresh berries, and made little mocktails in a wine glass. I still felt like I was unwinding ( wine- down after work was when I used to start drinking and then didn’t stop till I went to bed) so I can definitely relate to that.
I have bought tons of sparkly, fun non alcoholic drinks and I found that helped me SO MUCH. You are going to survive it. Let me know if you need anything :sunflower::yellow_heart:

Ps it’s okay to say no I’m not drinking booze, go to bed early, put on a movie. It doesn’t matter what he thinks you can or can’t do. All that matters is you believe you can do it.

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Stay in your safe zone try to avoid triggers and maybe try attend some meetings. Id go to 3 in a day when i felt almost on the verge of collapsing helped me alot to be among others who could help inspire and encourage me to work on my sobriety.

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Just popping in to say that I found my first night okay! I started new medication today so I feel pretty rough so drinking is the last thing on my mind!
I’ve decided against going to watch the rugby and being around alcohol and people drinking to give me the best chance. My partner only has a beer or 2 every other week so he’s not much of a drinker at all so he’s not going to be tempting me.

Thank you for all your encouraging words and tips. I got my 3 day milestone last night and I’m feeling positive.

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Good for you Emm! :raised_hands: Sounds like you have a good plan for today :innocent:

So it’s Tuesday today, and I’m just hours away from reaching my 7 day milestone. This time last week I was hungover and miserable, trying to convince myself to take steps towards sobriety. And now it’s almost been a week and I feel really good!

My sober weekend was actually alright! It felt good not to be feeling rough, not having embarrassed myself or spent money I couldn’t afford to spend. I spent time with my family, I got lots of things done around the house and feel clearer mentally.

Just thought I’d post a little update and thank you all again for the encouragement :blue_heart:

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How are things Emm?

Things are okay! I’ll admit I’m finding it trickier today than I did last Friday. I’ve just finished a 3 day training course so normally I’d drink tonight to celebrate. The thoughts keep crossing my mind that I want a drink tonight and I’m fighting with myself a bit!

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You’re not alone - many of us go through the same thing.

It’s a good excuse to go to a meeting: it’s an easy way to stay safe. There are both in-person and online options; here’s some online ones:

Online meeting resources

In addiction we’re alone, fighting a battle with ourselves. In recovery we find support and we connect. Stay connected and it will keep you safe :innocent:

Take care Emm and remember: you’re a good person and you deserve a safe life where you can be your full self.

Just popping in to say that in 90 minutes I’ll be hitting my 14 day milestone! I’m quite surprised I made it this far if I’m honest because I’ve normally fallen off the wagon by now. I’ve made it through 2 sober weekends, with a few meltdowns but stayed strong and sober! I’m off on annual leave after work on Friday til the 4th of November so I’m hoping I can be productive with my time rather than drinking and being hungover. I’ve found a few differences since stopping drinking as well, my weight is going down, my digestive issues have been minimal, my heartburn is almost non existent and I’m not as skint!

Next milestone - 21 days

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Hi, I totally understand what you mean. I am on 2nd day now, my longest AF period was 5-month long, last time I reached the 5th day, then the weekend came and I found myself in the pub drinking wine. A therapist said that many of us have links between alcohol and ordinary daily habits such is you drink on Friday night, or drink before working day, after exams, drink with your partner during having lunch, you buy drinks automatically while shopping etc. We must delete these links and habits and replace them with new AF things. Not easy. We must create new routines. But we can do that, after all we have already done it… Good luck, mate, and God bless you.

Good for you Emm! Keep it up, one day at a time :innocent: