What ever keeps you sober thats fine for me AA saved my life at that time no other places to go no rehab or other programs i sponsor guys take them through the program some my guys over30 years sober now, dont know if there are any long term people on here who are over 10 years sober who didnt have a sponsor or worked a program maybe there is as i said if it keeps you sober whatever way you choose thats great well done
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Welcome! If you don’t want to try AA and can maintain sobriety on what you are doing that is fantastic. AA is for those that can not manage to stop drinking on their own. Proven results are good enough for me. There are other programs and yes lots of material you can work on independently of a program. I wish you success.
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Welcome to a fantastic community.
I echo what has been said so far. Personally i was so stuck in my habit i couldnt trust my decisions and i needed the community of aa and this place to depend on when those horrible cravings came.
There are many roads to recovery and this place can help give you ideas. Dont pick up, find accountability, and deal with the underlying issues.
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Sure. You might be able to do it alone. But it’s just so much easier to do it with help.
I wanted to do it my way the first time I tried to get sober. I figured I was smart (I have a law degree) and I was motivated. I sounded a lot like you actually.
Took me two really severe relapses to become humble enough to ask for help. For me that was AA. For others it’s SMART or refuge. Either way Im coming up on 7 years and I’m glad I joined a program
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For me personally I tried on my own numerous times to no avail. The relapses got worse and worse and I reached a rock bottom where I admitted I couldn’t do it on my own. Like you the AA scene sketched me out a bit but I had nothing to lose at this point. I attend regular meetings now and I thoroughly enjoy it. I don’t necessarily always agree with everything I hear but I go in with an open mind and take what I can from the other speakers with years of sobriety. I also did link up with a sponsor but it’s honestly more of a friend. Yes we dig in a little bit to some tough subjects but it’s honestly more of just fun chats and talks. We golf together talk sports. Some sponsors I hear can be a bit aggressive and thankfully mine is not. I attend a couple meetings a week when I can because life still happens outside of AA. When I first started I had some people a bit abrasively telling me get to 90 meetings in 90 days…to me that was absolutely absurd and while I understood where they were coming from I knew it wasnt realistic. There are some good AA meetings online over zoom which for me was a bit of an easier entry point or even if you wanted to check it out out of curiosity. At the end of the day you need to do what’s right for you regardless of what anyone else says. I just know for me personally years of trying on my own didn’t get me where I needed to be. AA has helped for sure. While I attend meetings and have a sponsor I still value being independent in my recovery and that will never change for me.
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I am not a participant in AA, as I had a poor experience with it A LONG time ago. I don’t, however, ever exclude it as one of the programs/groups that work for people.
Every person needs what they need. Most people need people. Though the groups I am active with are communities, they don’t have sponsorships. There are mentors in some. I personally listen to everyone and especially lean on advice/stories by those who have been sober and “healed” for longer than I.
With each group, Recovery Dharma, SMART, and TLC that I am active in, not doing the “work” and not connecting are seen as a problem staying free of DOC. I can’t always trust myself - 30 years of effort and 233 days NOW of sobriety.
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Hey there! Welcome!!
I am super busy with assisting my elderly parents move to independent living ATM, so don’t have a ton of brain power to write much, but I did want to share a few links on my journey, which you may find of interest.
I have 7+ years of sobriety. Never been to AA or had a sponsor or follow any steps or program. Just never was something that resonated for me personally. I was, however, extremely active here for the first several years in early sobriety. I was here daily (I am retired, so had the time to devote here). That was instrumental for me.
Here is some of my journey if interested…and tho I have never been to AA, I do very much appreciate the path they paved for us all and all the shared knowledge and experience (and sayings!!)…so take what serves you (if anything) and feel free to leave the rest…
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Thank you all so much for your thoughts. Ive had this app for abt 2 years now (since my first attempt at recovery.) And although i put my new sobriety date in 4.27.2024 and have been tracking, it wasnt until i realized i needed to update my sobriety date about 3 weeks ago - from 4.272024 to 4.29.2024 (the date i actually entered rehab) - that i realized there were discussion boards attached. Today is the first day im really using them, and i appreciate you alls beautiful commentary.
Ill reflect and internalize. I think ill share for anyone else that joins, reads, connects that i do actively attend AA/NA/Smart mtgs (in person & zoom) now and have been since this stint of recovery. I actually just left 2 mtgs just now. I find mtgs have become a tool for me now as opposed to what i envisioned a chore. Meetings in general are helpful even though like others stated my mind is very spongey and i feel i have to actively take what works and tune out what seems negative and triggering. Im just rly averse to what “seems” like building a practice around sober codependency within the 12 step communities. That seems scary to me. A bit because it takes me out of my comfort zone, which im fearful of, and also because it plays into my DOC tied to sex/companionship urges and yearnings.
Although i was against the idea of not forming a meaningful relationship within the first year of recovery 2 years ago. I realize now that seems like an important, meaningful, and purposeful practice for me to really re-learn how to love myself, given that it was low self esteem and devaluing myself in pursuit of others that led me to my addiction in the first place. I envision finding a sponsor eventually. But dont want to play into the rush that 12 step seems to make it for right now.
Again thank you all so much for your discourse. I appreciate this community and am wishing you all continued success in your journeys!
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I’m 40 years sober, and I had a sponsor for the first 25 yrs.
Decided after that I could keep sober mostly through my own convictions. I have long ago lost any romantic euphoria about drinking, never get any urges to drink, and have vigorously acted in my best sober interests.
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I’m 6.5+ years sober from alcohol (I struggle with polysubstance but alcohol is the worst for me) and have never set foot into an AA group as a sober individual. I went a few times (intoxicated) before finally getting sober, if that counts? Lmao
It triggers some religious trauma for me and is ABSOLUTELY unhelpful for me. The whole higher power thing is hard for me, to say the least. It is refreshing to hear from others who haven’t gone through a 12-step program. As a mental health therapist, I’m learning more and more that my story is pretty much that of a unicorn.
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Almost 5 years sober with zero meetings. I was never opposed to it, my schedule and 4 hour commute each day just didn’t allow the time. I used that time for sobriety podcasts and such, super helpful for me. I spent a lot of time here as well.
I will always keep an open mind to doing whatever it takes to remain sober though… things that work today may not work tomorrow. The more sobriety tools you have to fall back on the better, and if you don’t have a needed tool be willing too go get it. Best wishes.
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I can relate to this. Not about doing the steps by myself, but being sober with/without the support of others. I joined this community in 2019 at 1 week sober bc I didn’t know what to do. It taught me almost everything I know about recovery and was my recovery toolbox in the beginning. I tried AA at 60 days and fell in love. I went every single day, and around 3 months, blindly chose a sponsor. We didn’t really have a connection, there just wasn’t a spark, but she helped me thru steps 1-6 and I’m grateful for that. I probably could’ve done them myself(except step 5 bc you actually do need another person for that), but probably wouldn’t have bc I procrastinate everything 
2020 quarantine began when I was nearing 5 months. I felt strong in my sobriey and reached out to everyone I knew from the program to make sure they were doing okay. No one replied. That feeling of abandon along with not being able to physically attend meetings made me feel like I couldn’t do this alone. There was a negative shift in how I felt about AA. I began to believe that I needed it to stay sober and it wasn’t there for me in the end. It left a sour taste in my mouth. I relapsed after 10 days. I soon realized that sour taste was actually booze and it wasn’t AA that let me down, I let myself down. This was important. In that moment I knew I am the only person who can keep me sober. 100 people could tell me not to drink, but if I’m not the first one on that list, the others won’t matter.
One day, 3 years after relapsing, it finally clicked and I got sober again 
Everything was going great on my own until I started closing in on 5 months again(first relapse) and something told me I needed more. That’s when I returned to this forum after a 2 year absence and it felt like coming home. I realized that as much as I love, and sometimes need to be alone, I also need a connection to those who understand me. I’m not in any programs, I just come here everyday. It works for me…for now. I know things can change quickly in life/sobriety and I must stay open to change with it, whatever it takes. So, you do you, as long as it’s working 
Welcome to the community
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When I wanted to become sober hard enough I found this forum and decided to give myself one year to get sober without help of AA ore such.
I’m addicted to alcohol and sober for almost 6 years with the help of this app and the community in it.
Connection is key. So I put the work in it to find my place here. I’m here every day. At first to check in sober, to vent ore chat with others, ask for help ore give help.
Now these days I’m here as a moderator as well, trying to give back my help to this app that gave me so much.
Sobriaty is not “just quit”. I had to change a lot in my life and personality as well. I made a sober plan to guide me trough it. Here is where you find it:
I made this thread when I was 2 years sober.
My advice for your recovery is to be open minded. Try all the tips you get here. Keep the ones that work and skip those that don’t.
There are people here that think that AA is the only way. I think that’s because it worked for them and they are hoping to save you too. A good thing but I think there are multiple ways to become sober.
I did it my way and it worked for me.
What works for you you have to find out by trial and error.
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Recently we had a discussion on this topic in the parking lot of the Recovery Dharma online meeting I attend. Several attendees mentioned they never had and do not have a sponsor or mentor, me among them.
We all mentioned how we cannot tollerate hierarchies, deferring to authorities and dogma well. Instead we like multiple perspectives and finding our own paths. Many combine different approaches and take what they need, may that be any of the recovery programs, counseling, therapy, etc.
One person put it quite well: “You all are my mentors.” There is no crosstalk in the shares, but often a topic will come up that somehow several people will pick up and share about. It’s the multitude of perspectives that gives me food for thought, for self reflection, for finding my own path.
What I find essential to recovery though is staying open to new perspectives, learning from experience (my own and that of others), and connecting with recovery communities.
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I am sober two years, and I’ve got this far on my own and with the invaluable help of my peers here on TS. Where I live, AA is thin on the ground, and in any case as an agnostic I am not comfortable with all the God in AA (I know they reference “Higher Power”, but for me it’s obvious the whole program is built around God). Anyways, I’ve done lots of searching, read lots of quit lit, reassessed many beliefs, things and relationships, interacted here lots… I’m clear on what I need to keep going through recovery, and I trust that by always keeping sobriety as the priority, I’ll be able to keep going.
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Im into my 6th year now without any programs or sponsors or anything.it was just a matter of getting my head down and getting on with it for me.that along with the ongoing help from family.
The idea was to get a few sober months under my belt and then look at going to some type of meeting but i never got round to it. I did however ring AA a couple of times to get s bit of moral support.
My 5th year turned out to be my hardest upto now,and this is when i found Talking sober by accident,within days i was feeling alot better just knowing other people were in the same boat as me.
Im so happy i found the place its helped me enormously
Would i do things different?? No i wouldnt,how i done it has worked for me but i am very grateful that i found TS and my sober friends in the end.
I am looking at going to meeting now though.
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I am 2 years sober. Independently. With the help of this app and I follow a facebook group. When i became sober i also decided to stay abstain from any sex with anyone for a minimum of 1 year. I totally agree with you that abstinence is extremely helpful. I ended up not engaging in sexual activities for 1.5 years. I no longer want meaningless sex. I prefer to be alone, unless that true person that is ment for me walks into my life. If he doesnt thats fine also. I did end up doing bible study with my neighbors for about 6 months when I was feeling completely lost and insane about 8 months into my sobriety. I have learned to pray, a lot. But i also learned that I can talk to God like a friend and that he really does answer. I do not belief in religion. I do belief I have a caring father that sees all and hears all, and therefor I dont feel that loneliness i have always felt.
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Have you looked into SMART recovery? It’s a Self Maintenance program of recovery
Almost 6 years sober.
I didn’t go the AA route, I just came here (this forum), but I didn’t do it alone, none of us here did. We lean on each other as much as we learn from each other.
When I first quit drinking, I felt lost, I asked those who had some sober time how to live sober and followed their advice. They guided, I listened, now I guide. We are never alone in this, nor should we be.
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Thanks for starting this thread, @Pjordan1906 ! Lots of great info shared for this newbie considering exploring group work. Thanks for sharing, all!
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