My heart is broken. How did I get here again. Another episode of stupid drunk. I am beyond ashamed and sick of doing this to myself and my wonderful boys. They don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve this and my poor husband either. I am a drunk and there is nothing I can tell myself to convince me that I am not. Day one of trying to live sober. Is this how to start or Where do I start?! I need help please
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Mama
I have been there. You already did the hardest thing… you admitted it. Keep moving forward. Sunrise sunset sunrise. Read. Login here all the time. Find an AA meeting if that works for you. Make a list of the reasons to stay sober. For me too it was my.kids… biggest reason… you can do this. Big hugs. Everyone is great here and there are so many resources. You can be your best today. One day at a time.
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Welcome. Good as place as any to start.
Read around on here. Use the magnifying glass to search any questions you may have.
Pretty much guarantee that the answers to all your questions will be found on here.
Formulate a plan for moving forward.
Try not to worry too much about where you find yourself. Accept this and do something about moving on with your life. Make yourself a better person. For you.
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Welcome 
You did the hardest step, to admit that you got a problem with drinking. That’s great. Now the work starts. Have a look at the FAQs, a lot to read there for starters.
In the beginning I was on here pretty much 24/7 and it helped me tons!
A list of pro’s and con’s of drinking is very good! I suggest to keep it with you to check when your inner demon get’s too active 
I wish you all the best and good luck 
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I feel your pain. The words you said are so similar to what my inner voice has said on too many occasions. I am so happy you reached out. I did so in Oct. 2019 after a drunken day resulted in me breaking my back. I want to say that was bottom for me yet I had other similar experiences that should have proven that enough was enough yet I continued. Somehow things clicked better in October. I had one 3-day slip-up since then and now 15 days back on track. I immersed myself in youtube videos to help understand the science behind how I was destroying my brain and body in general. I have a son about to be married and a beautiful adult daughter as well. I want to stay alive for them and for future grandbabies. Alcohol is simply poison; literally and figuratively. You are smarter than this and you deserve more. Use the passion you expressed in your post to focus on your health. Your family needs you. My best to you!
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Maybe try a meeting they will help if you desire to stop wish you well
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Wow, the amount of times I’ve awaken saying the ssme thing. Here you will get the support you need. Love yourself and your family. Be strong and put your best foot forward. If you would had toll me 11 days ago that I would be sober I would had laughed at you. Yet here I’m, have faith set a small goal at the time, stay away from toxic people and love your children and foremost yourself.
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Thank you for your kind words they brought me so much comfort. They made me cry but in a good way! I have hope. I know I can.
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Have you thought of going to your local drug and alcohol support service they have so much help and support there it could make yours and your family’s like Fe so much easy reach out ,nobody can hold it against you for asking for help.x
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@Iris1 You are in the right place! That you posted is a positive sign. Don’t beat yourself up! Focus on the positive, you are here and you are sober. You can build on that!
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Welcome Iris. There’s so much great advice on here with a bunch of awesome people to help you do this. Don’t beat yourself up, we can’t change the past but you can make a better future for yourself and your family. I look forward to following your journey. Sending you big hugs.
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Welcome! I don’t have much to add to the great stuff others have said here, but wanted to affirm you. You’re doing a brave and beautiful thing. I was a drunk too, but in recovery we learn to become the people we want to be, free from alcohol. It can be a difficult road, but we’re here to help.
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