5 days sober from benzos and barbiturates…I got up, went and visited family, went grocery shopping, even made dinner for my husband but although I seemed great to everyone I was dying inside and faking my happiness. I just want to do nothing and be alone. Yesterday was awful, I wouldn’t have minded at all if I just died. Someone who has been sober for a long time from this please tell me it will get better and that I’ll be “real” happy again. 
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Fake it till you make it was my motto for the first 2 weeks. I was suffering on the inside but still had to show up for work and my family everyday. After that 2 weeks of hell, then came the pink cloud and everything was wonderful. That lasted about 2 weeks and then reality hit and I had to face all the hard things in life head on. My DOCs are opiods, cocaine and alcohol. Time frames will vary from person to person.
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Hi, It will get better and you will get “real” happy again.
You have to be patient and ride out these feelings. Also you can do a search for “benzo withdrawal” and you should find some old posts from others who have experienced it.
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I feel you. I detoxed from alcohol and Ativan at the same time. It was AWFUL. You are doing better at 5 days than I was. I couldn’t even get out of bed. Your brain and body are healing right now and it takes time. You WILL start to feel better. I kept myself distracted for sure. I know what you mean about fake happy. Your body is so conditioned to only feel happy when you have your DOC. The normal things before that that used to make you happy don’t anymore. But as you heal they will start to again. It takes time. One day at a time!!
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We have all been where you are. It’s not a nice place to be. After 16 months clean and sober it still hits me hard. Each night as I review the day I say to myself, today was a good/ bad day but tomorrow’s going to be better. Talk to your S/O family or non using friends tell them how your feeling. And you will feel better. And one more thing we all are here for you.reach out and we will be here for you God bless you I will keep you in my prayers
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I’m on day 24 of a benzo detox I turnt a corner around day 20, I was in bed for first 5 days I could barley shower and brush my teeth and the aniexty was crippling, you sound like your pretty on it, I’ve learnt that it’s OK not to be OK I use to do that fake happy but it just burnt me out very quickly as I was using more energy doing that then anything else, sometimes it’s just good to get it out there say how your feeling and its looses its power, keep going your doing great.
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I detoxed from alcohol, but I felt something similar. I remember feeling like someone sucked all the joy and happiness out of my body. And I wondered if I would ever be happy again. At the same time, I kept browbeating myself to snap out of it. It eased up with time. And as my body worked through all the crap. It is something that a lot of us need professional help working through! No shame in that.
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You did all that only 5 days in from quitting benzos? Shit, I would say that is huge! Most can’t even get out of bed at day 5. Keep your head up, if you can already do all that, it shouldn’t be that long before you’re not faking anything
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You’re doing amazing, I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but you are. What you’re doing it hard and you’re at the worst phase.
Don’t go backwards, it might seem like an easy option but it isn’t, as difficult as it feels right now, the best option is to continue forwards and away from rock bottom, don’t plunge back down to it.
It’s going to take a while for your body and brain and emotions to adjust as they are so used to being affected by the drugs. You got to give them enough time to reconfigure and come out the other side… It’ll take work! It’s worth the work!
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Drug an alcohol use really played a role in my emotional development. I started my using escapades very young always seemed to display childish characteristics fussying, fighting, crying despite being pretty well mannered an intelligent. Very manipulative in situations with myself and others to justify my thinking an motives.the chemical release is what i craved to make me happy or content with managing my problems. Ive read and came to understand the complexity of my emotions and actions related to my substance abuse and addictions. Only complete sobriety will help me in recovering, to help develop my emotional insufficiency. It does get better with time we can all heal and be happy about ourselves, all we’ve done wrong no matter how bad it may have been. They say the feeling never lasts forever, just have to learn how to manage what ever it is were struggling with today. Re-define your purpose and meaning in life and stay positive.
people can understand what u are struggling with and here to help you overcome the hard times.Stay strong keep coming back.
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Yep, it can. Will it? That’s up to you. Happiness is a mindset based on what you believe you “need” to be happy, and whether or not those objects and ideas are present in day to day living.
Yes, if you and/or your children are starving, or can’t meet basic needs no matter how hard you work, a positive mindset isn’t a surefire way to a joyous life. Health (sobriety), stability, safety, access to food and shelter have to come first.
After that, I believe it’s an outlook and an understanding of what we as individuals need/want/have to have in our lives. We are all different, so what that is varies.
For me, simplifying my life so I can focus on a few basic core needs helped enormously.
Every day I do my absolute best to meet whatever challenges come up. Not to be rich or famous, but doing my best for its own sake. I talk with friends and family as much as possible, because I have to have connections with others or I go nuts. I get outside into nature as much as I can. I pay attention to my son, and treat him with respect and love. When I can, I pour myself into a few hobbies I’ve picked up. For the most part I feel happy.
There are shit days when I want to see the world and everything in it burn, but then I calm down and refocus. Life is brutal, it has not gotten easier since I got sober 2+ years ago. But I’m a stronger person now, and can handle a lot more shit than I could when I was always getting fucked up. Stick with it, figure out what you are about as a human, and just do it!
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Faking it to you make it! Is a lonely place to be. Believe me I know I’ve been here for 5 years and it comes without friends…
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It gets better. I promise. We addicts do a good job masking our feelings by numbing ourselves with drugs and alcohol, and sometimes it’s just rotten and garbage-y and feelings stink. But we have to do it, and it gets better. So, so, SO much better. I have almost 4 and a half years, and every day is better then the last, even the really rough days. Stick with it, find a meeting, journal, meditate, yell at a pillow….just know it is already getting better.
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