Hi there and welcome!! I understand completely. I went thru about the exact same thing with my husband in my early sobriety. It is a big adjustment for any relationship and ours was built 25 years ago on drinking, cocaine and lots of parties and partying. It took us both a good deal of time to understand and accept the changes in our life together. This included…
- him learning that this time I was serious (as opposed to all the other times I relapsed)
- no, I would not be fun drunk Sassy anymore…but as you say, I would also not be unhinged diabolical drunk Sassy anymore either (he appreciates this A LOT now)
- how would we relate now that I was sober?
- could he still drink if I didn’t? how would that feel for both of us
And so many other feelings and questions to work thru together. On a whole, it took him quite some time and a good deal of reading and discussion to understand what was happening with me, especially in early days and how it would affect him and our marriage. He didn’t really know how to be supportive and we baby stepped thru that together.
There are lots of older threads on this topic and I compiled some that you may find of interest. I should go thru and see how relevant they still are…maybe I will another day. 
I will say for myself and for my husband (who still drinks), it took time for both of us, a lot of discussion and a lot of me spending time by myself in the early days of my sobriety.
It was a big adjustment for us both and worrisome for us both as well.
Here is the thread with more links…hope it helps a little. You are not alone in this, there are a few of us with still drinking spouses. It is a process for sure. 