I’m feeling overwelmed at the moment, you guys. I try to stay strong for everyone else around me and lift them up but I can’t right now. I’m emotional and just want to crawl in a ball and hide. I’ve been doing too much I think and I feel weak. I don’t feel strong right now, very vulnerable. My husband managed to cut me with his words and I melted into a pile of self-hate. This sucks but it’s part of life. I can’t float on a pink cloud of sobriety the entire time…it’s not realistic. I thought I was doing all the right things. It all feels too much right now. I don’t want to drink/use but feeling can be very painful sometimes. It’s punishing.
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@Melrm finding ways to cope with issues I would normally drink away has been an adventure for me…
When idk how to handle a situation I take the problem and try to find an opportunity in it.
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Nooo! That’s no good, can’t have that! You’re one of the main characters on the forum Mel.
Your strength, wise words and insights keep a lot of people focussed and you ARE doing ‘all the right things’!
It is frightening sometimes, the power that a few words from a loved one can have, sometimes lifting, and sadly sometimes withering.
I’m sure that your husband had no idea of the impact he caused - maybe you should tell him (I know I’d be upset to know I’d hurt a loved one if I hadn’t realised and was told about it).
And drink’s a waste of time - better to have control, even if that means the sting of tears and self-hate, rather than to be brain-numbed (drinking at yourself, anyone?)
Time for a nice cup of tea and squash Samuel L (even if you have to wake him up!)
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@Charlesfreck oh thank you …Samuel L. Dachshund is right by my side as usual. Crying and feeling hurts sometimes. I won’t drink AT anyone, I promise. Just need to vent and walk through this crap. I’m not always the strong one…I’m human and it’s not always easy.
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Of course, you’re right. Being strong doesn’t necessarily mean continually strong (a few people have said this in the forum, but it’s caught me by suprise - about crying - I’ve never outwardly shown my emotion but since being sober I’ve found some things, like a couple of the scenes from Manchester by The Sea, really resonated, and then I had tears in my eyes. It’s been odd, but a relief really, as you say, being human!)
I’m sure Samuel L will be right by you and help you get through ‘the crap’!
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Aw I really feel for you, but remember you don’t have to be strong for everybody all the time. Being caring and supportive, which you so obviously are, is a wonderful thing. But don’t be afraid to realise you can’t carry the weight all the time. I don’t have to say look after yourself, l know you have the tools and the knowhow. Sending love and hugs your way 
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I’m sorry @Melrm! I hope you found a way to cheer up. I was feeling like this the other day… trying to be positive all the time can be exhausting. It’s healthy to have bad days… without the bad we wouldn’t get to experience what a good day feels like. I hope you feel better soon. 
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You are one of only 2 people who replied to my 1st post…you welcomed me… it meant a lot to me. You seem to be a pretty amazing person. We all need a shoulder to cry on sometimes, and you are usually the shoulder for everyone. Let us be your shoulder, and cry as much as you need to. Hope you have a better day!
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you are amazing and I am here for you always. Don’t ever be afraid to vent! I hope you are feeling better today, I’m so sorry I didn’t see this until now
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All of you are so amazing. Thank you for the kind words and support.
@Melrm you’ve been a rock for so many others out here, but give yourself a break, and some space and time for yourself. Cut back on something if possible, but please stay strong.
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Hey @Melrm I’m just reading this. I hope you are feeling better! I can definitely relate to your feelings. I often feel like I am trying so hard to do everything right, be perfect and in control. I’m learning to remind myself that it’s ok to take a step back and take time to be kind to myself. I often get very overwhelmed and try to take on too many things at once. It’s hard to slow down sometimes.
It sounds like you have the right attitude. Know that in order to fully appreciate all of the joys in life we must also experience the sadness, frustration, and pains that everyday life can bring. I know that you already know this I just wanted to remind you. Lean on your sisters when you need to. It’s ok to be upset. We are here to help bring you back up.
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Stay strong. Big hugs. 
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@Melrm hey lady. I hear you and know how you feel. You have to watch out for yourself and put yourself first. I know you know this, as we all do but I think we (especially women) feel like we always have to be the strong ones. What you have been doing is great. This weekend was a rough one for me and your messages and texts made a world of difference. It helps to not feel alone. My husband is on the same path as myself and I can talk to him anytime but it’s different when I have others to talk to. I mean how can I bitch about him to him? Ha ha much love and remember I’m just a text away!
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Feel better! Take care of yourself, schedule some downtime. You are SUCH a helpful voice here to so many of us.
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Sorry to hear you feeling a bit bleak but i am sure the clouds will lift and clear skys will appear. Cuddle your dog they are not judgemental and give unconditional love.
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