I’ve just started my sober journey. All my friends and my boyfriend socialize at the bar and party every weekend. That’s the idea of having fun and being social where I live. I’m having a hard time with being alone and avoiding those spaces. I don’t feel like I can go there and be sober yet.
Recently I read this thread. The post is brilliant and takes you through the various steps in recovery.
What’s YOUR plan? - Life in Recovery - Talking Sober - Addiction Recovery Forum & Support Group
One of the things I learnt very early on in my journey (and my journey is not that long…just 11 months) is that there are some things that one will have to make a decision about.
People
Places
Things
And in place of them, you need to create a community of people in places doing things that are beneficial to your sobriety. If you don’t feel like you can go and not be sober…then don’t go. Stay at home. Find some cool topics to discuss on here. You are certainly not alone. There’s thousands of us here who are happy to talk. x
I get this feeling and im sorry ur feeling this way right now u may feel alone but u definitly arent. There were many times when i was surrounded by drugs and alcohol (thru roommates or ex partners) while I was attempting recovery and i realized that i needed to develop my own support network. Online support is great! For example online 12 step meetings through the Intherooms app and this forum are indispensable for recovery. But i found my network of people initally thru in person 12 step meetings. Thats where i developed sober friends. We did coffees after the meetings, they had dry dances, conferences, etc. Lots of fun sober stuff to keep life interesting
Are there meetings in ur area thar u know of and could attend while ur bf/friends are our drinking? Might be a good distraction
Yes it takes time to get used to being out and not drinking. Find a way to be kind to yourself that makes it feel worth not going to a bar. Maybe work out what you have saved and treat yourself to something?
Maybe find a friend who is happy to go walking with you etc. Turn your social life into something that’s not bar focused. Then when you stay in you won’t feel so lonely.
A creative hobby helps, or reading. Maybe listening to podcasts. The blind boy podcast is brilliant. An Irish lad who is very calming!
But checking in here is a good way of never being alone.
are there any physical activities you would want to participate it? one thing i did in the beginning is a self-driven challenge for 30 days of yoga. i went every day after work and weekend mornings. i’ve now been a part of run clubs, etc. find something that you can really engage with and focus on. soon enough those bar nights will be the last thing you want to do. <3
I’m a week sober. I have had many periods of sobriety this year usually about a month at a time then I binge drink. The withdrawals have become worse as I get older and binge harder.
I can relate deeply to feeling alone. I created an environment at a local bar and I even started seeing the bartender. Now I don’t go there but it is a frustrating feeling. I just feel like I’m missing out or I’m not living life to the fullest which is the opposite of true.
We may be alone physically if we don’t have company when we’re sober, but I think deep down we were always alone even we were surrounded by people at a bar drinking.
Either way I hope you stay strong
For me my experience in early sobriety i joined a AA groups after that i was never alone got phone numbers meet new sober people and my life changed wish you well
I can relate. I have only one sober friend who lives quite far at the moment because of her studies at the university, so we don’t see each others so often. Basically I’m all alone every single day and although I’m happy to be alone, sometimes I miss people. Luckily I have this app, therapist and Zoom meetings.
I wish you all the best! Remember, you’re not alone! This community is full of wonderful people who are willing to help and discuss.
Same here. 2 days sober. Already having a hard time. My fiance drinks every night. And we always go to breweries on weekends and our yearly vacation is all wine tasting and drinking. I’m doing my best to just take care of me and not give in