This is called “fuck-it syndrome” or “the fuckits” - most people in recovery get it; it comes and goes. It’s the mind-trick played by your addict brain saying “fuck it, everything sucks anyway so it doesn’t matter if I drink”. It fades after time working a recovery program.
In addiction we give up everything for one thing (our addiction). In recovery, we give up one thing (our addiction), and in return we get everything. Part of the reason you’re feeling the way you are is that for all the years of your addiction, your life was hollow: empty except for the addiction. Now you’re healthy - sober - and what you need to do is recover your humanity: you have an empty lot and you need to grow a fruitful garden. It takes time, but like any project, it’s always one day at a time.
I find it helpful to listen to podcasts and read “quit lit” to refresh my sense of purpose and direction in recovery:
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