On Thursday I fucked up my sobriety. Got so drunk I could barely walk.
I was at the bowling alley with my friends and I knew I needed to go home but nobody would walk me. So, I walked outside and seen these three guys talking around this truck. I walked up to them and was like “hey, will one of you walk me home? I know where I live but i can barely walk.” This one guy said of course and then we started walking. We got to my fence, and I told him that I was gonna smoke then go inside. He followed me into the garage and we were just talking on the 'smoking couch.'
The next thing I know he has me bent over the couch pulling down my pants. I told him no and begged him to stop. He didn’t. I just laid there and cried. I feel so disgusting.
I don’t know what to do. All I want to do is drink and numb this pain, but I know I can’t.
You are not disgusting. The guy was. Your relapse into drinking was a knock down but not a defeat. Pick yourself up and continue the fight. Everyone on here, i am sure, is on your side.
Im so sorry this happened to you. What happened to you is not your fault, regardless if you were intoxicated. No means no. That guy is a piece of shit. You relapsed. It happens to the best of us. You still have the time that you were sober to be proud of. I can’t imagine what your going through, but please don’t let this prevent you from trying again. I know it will be tempting to just keep drinking or using to dull the pain right now, but try to be strong. Use that anger and hurt as fuel to give yourself a better life in sobriety. Are you or did you go to the police? I might look into getting into therapy, because that kind of stuff can stick with you and fester. Sending you lots of love and support. big hugs 
That guy is a real piece of crap and what happened to you is extremely horrible, but it has absolutely nothing to do with you being disgusting or anything else. You had a weak moment and you drank- we’re human and we make mistakes. I’ve learned through the program that you never loose your sober time…if you mess up and drink just don’t quit trying…we all gain our life back one day at a time. Please find someone you can trust and talk to about what happened. From my own personal experiences, drinking will not make the pain go away and it won’t make you forget what happened, it will just make everything else get worse.
OMG. OMG. OMG!
Have you talked with anyone else about this? Please don’t brush this off. You were violated. I’m feeling the pain as I read this. And that’s unusual for me. It’s actually a sobering reminder to how important my recovery is. Thank for sharing with us.
This guy preyed upon you. He took advantage of your vulnerable state to get a fix for himself. You told him, “No!” You were crying. This was a horrible experience for you.
Where I come from, we call that sexual assault and rape. That makes you a survivor. And I totally agree with the rest of us here that the responsibility of what happened to you does not fall on you. It falls on the man who used you to get a sex fix. There is no good excuse for what he did to you.
And I hope you find better friends who will not let you walk home alone. And I hope that you’ll work through this so that you walk with your head high knowing that no one is going to ever take away your power and dignity. And that you’ll do it sober. You are loved @Shay
Jesus. I’m so sorry, and I agree with others. Report it if you haven’t already and talk to someone. A counselor would help. I haven’t experienced this, but my older sister was raped last year. We have very similar drinking habits, so I always think it could’ve been me.
Her phone was dead, she was plastered and she didn’t have a ride home, so some stranger volunteered to take her home. He took her back to his home instead, and yep, raped her. She was that out of it.
You need to go to the coppers about this dickhead!!
Yep , in no way is this your fault. Report it to the police.
Definitely need to report this person. It won’t help you or him not to. Take it really easy on yourself and be kind. Lots of self care and call as many sober women as you can for support! Sending you a lot of love:heart:
OMG
I really feel that you should definitely get checked out and seek help. This is a horrible thing to have happened. You have been taken advantage of in the most horrible way possible.
I am also angry at your friend’s for not helping you home safely.
Alcohol does put us in dangerous places it’s scary.
Please get the guy arrested others could be in danger too.
Sending love n hugs
Big kisses!!! xoxo
As many already said… no is a no… and it is always NO. Please consider reporting that scum to the police, your bravery could help to sime other women that might end in similar situation. I am trying not to imagine how msny times he maybe did the same thing and got away with it. Stay strong and big hug. Hope you have supporting friend or a family member or therapist that can help you go through this.
Hey shay
I really hope you are ok girl. You did not deserve this…NO means NO. I was actually in a similar situation when I was younger…I blamed myself and I wouldn’t want you to do the same. Please talk to someone ie a therapist. Don’t let this discourage how far you have come. You are in my prayers x
I’m here guys and I’m okay. I’m just pretty fucking broken still.
have just read your post, wow you went through the worst thing possible but your bravery about speaking out is actually inspiration. stay strong and keep fighting xx
@Shay This is not your fault being the father of three daughters my blood is boiling. Did you go to the police No means No I don’t care how drunk you are I just want to give you a hug and let you know it will be ok. Relapsing is no big deal so you start over go to as many meetings as you can and find yourself a female sponcer. But don’t give up keep fighting I wish I knew you so I could hurt that POS for what he did if you were one of my daughters or granddaughters he would be really hurt. Please don’t give up keep coming back here and talking.
@Shay I was relieved to see you here, but can’t imagine what you’re going throughout. On the sobriety side, I would just want to offer some useful resources to help prevent a relapse, see links below. Also it’s not my place, but I would be very upset with “friends” who would not walk you home when you really needed them.