So I was on day 4 and a very stressful situation occurred and my friend said on the phone “have a glass of wine”. Then she said accusingly “you’re not doing dry January are you?” I said no because I didn’t want her to know I have a problem with alcohol. Got off the phone and I knew what I was doing and drank anyway. 5 glasses of wine followed by some whiskey. The result is feelings of anxiety, shame, anger. I’ve barely done any work today. I feel like I’ve let myself down and feel really defeated and bad about myself. I only got to day 4. I’ve reset and started again but I feel like I can’t achieve this. Any advice really welcomed. Thank you.
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Keep coming back!
Everyday can be day one!
Fake it til you make it… if you have to! You found this place, your heading in the right direction.
Progress, not perfection… is sometimes faster, sometimes slower.
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Thanks Michael 
Yes u can. If she is a close enough friend to console you over the phone, then why is she not close enough to know you have a problem with booze? I found it personally liberating to tell anyone who cared about me that I had a problem and was going to head down a path to fix my issue. Everyone has to do what works for them, but don’t let your feelings about slipping knock u off track. A true friend who knows you have a problem would not encourage you to drink when u were down. My suggestion? U have options: 1. Let her know U have a problem and are intent on working on it…this sets up boundaries and a true friend wouldn’t cross them; 2. Don’t let her know u have a problem, but if that’s the case u will likely have to isolate yourself from her so she doesn’t influence your decisions; 3. Continue down ur current path, which probably will cause u the same problems or u wouldn’t be here asking for advice.
It is completely within your capability to beat this as long as u are willing to admit that you have a problem with alcohol and you are unable to control your drinking.
“We repeat what we do not repair”
people are here to help and be helped thru this crazy journey, forgive yourself and get back to day 1.
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So you failed. You can decide which type of failure it is, backward or forward. Fail backward, by wallowing in guilt, and thinking “it’s too hard” or “I can’t do this”. Fail forward by admitting you have a problem, accounting for your relapse, recommitting to sobriety, and moving forward. You did 3 days. Now do 4. Then 5 then 7. If you relapse, get up quickly, and move forward.
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@Yoda-Stevie thanks for always bringing the positive tough love! Leaning forward and moving toward a better you…no time for pity, get back on that 
!!!
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Exactly. The only easy day, was yesterday. Every day we will face challenges, including challenges to our sobriety. Sometimes we fail. Can’t sit and sulk over it. Gotta move. The longer you put off getting up and onward, the tougher and less likely it will be that you will pursue it again. I’ve learned this over many relapses, the last (and my last) one was 11 months long, after my Mom died.
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You were sober 4 out of 5 days. That’s pretty darn good. Pretty soon it will be5 out of 5. Then you go from there. Try not to dwell to much on it pal:)
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Thanks everyone. I’ll try to fall forward. My next target is 4 days. 
️
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We can do it!!! I’m on day 7 and in the last year I’ve reset my clock 3 times. I want this to be the last time that I have to start over. The big thing that I need to learn is how to handle stressful situations. I use to always go for a drink when I got stressed out. I want to learn how to deal with my problems instead of cover them up with alcohol. That’s not fixing and overcoming a problem its putting a bandaid on it. Don’t give up hope! Were all here to get better but I’ve learned I’m going to stumble sometimes we’re human!
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Thanks. I feel fragile, will have to build up hope gradually. But I have reset and I’ll just try to be kind and take it easy. No alcohol today. Congrats to you, an inspiration.
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Just a thought but if you can’t tell your friend about your struggle at this moment in time then Dry January is a perfect cover for the next 3 weeks…
At least for a little while, LIVE on this forum. You will find hope and encouragement. Lot’s of folks who’ve gone before you, and lots who are walking right beside you.
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Just keep hanging on don’t let go of the rope
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There’s never too late for a day one. You start from there, no matter how many tries it takes. You can and WILL make it and we all are here for you in your weakest moments. What happened is in the past, no reason to dwell on it! Now you can focus on your better future. All the best and love to you 
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I’ve reset several times, but I’m still here. The point is you get up and try again, let go of the shame and move forward. Everyone here will support you.
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Thanks serenity. Hard to let go of the shame! Think I need to live with it for a bit and build on the achievement of resetting.
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Try not to be too hard on yourself, resetting is a pretty easy thing to have to do… I’ve done it more times than I care to admit ! Still, since I’ve started using this app and posting / reading here quite regularly, I’ve found it easier, mostly as a result of having a bit of support.
I had a really tough time between Christmas and NYE, but some of the other posters on this site were a big help to me, and that’s something that you should take into account.
I read a great “stop drinking” book a while ago, and the key message was this… going without alcohol isn’t DEPRIVING yourself of anything, it’s FREEING yourself from a lot of the brainwashing and BS that you often get from alcohol companies (and others) but also well-meaning family members… and friends !!
I was at 4 days not all that long ago… now I’m at 47 or so, targetting 90… you can do it too !
I know today was really hard for me. I cried a lot. Then felt restless and ran a few miles to get away from myself. I don’t if it worked but tomorrow will be better. I have to keep repeating that to myself. Because it will be okay.
Glad you got through today betterbee42. Well done. Hugs
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