Hi April 
welcome to the spot. I drank too. I know how you feel. Im sober a year and a half now. This forum has helped me a lot. It sucks in the beginning, but it will be so much better. We feel better each day. We just have to go through it. Lots of resources on here and tons of nice people from all over the world. Hang in there. Share often it helps to lighten the load.
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Iāve had quite a few Day 1ās, itās ok though because every time I learn something. I know now that day 1 is really hard, but it gets easier. And then there are days that will be hard again but thatās ok, just because one day is hard that doesnāt mean we throw out everything weāve worked for. But even if we do throw it all away, we can start again at Day 1. I had 27 days in December, then relapsed, and now Iām at 2 days. Iām ok, and you are ok too.
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Find a group and a sponsor ASAP. The fellowship and emotional support in this chat room helps, but somewhere I read the following:
" Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices. The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight.
In nearly all cases, their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves, if they are to re-create their lives."
(Alcoholics Anonymous / Doctorās Opinion )
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Welcome, never give up! This place helps alot, I enjoy more healthy days now and your worth itā¦The sun is shiningāļø
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Get a hold of a local or cyber AA group asap, find a sponsor to work the steps,this is a disease of perception and loneliness, try not to go it alone and without clear guidance
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Day 1sā¦ Yip had a few of them over the past 9yrs. Each time it got harderā¦ but currently 2 yrs and when I look back I think to myself āYou are a baddass MF for giving a shit about yourself to keep getting upā
Soā¦ congratulations on your day 1. 24hrs is all we have to work with as tomorrow may never come.
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Funny I always feel alone and think no matter how hard I try it will never matter! I spent my life before and now trying to make everyone happy but no one cares no one is there when u need them ! I am just tired and sad sorry for the bad vibes
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We are here for you. You will likely find as you get sober that you lose some friends on the way. But good news - you will meet other people who are aligned to your new sober life.
And no need to apologise for feeling sad. I used to do that all the time and it meant I would feel sad and then beat myself up for feeling sad - sad squared!
As @Mental_Twist suggested maybe try and find a recovery group where you can see people. In covid times an in person meeting might be difficult but I go to a website called intherooms a lot and they have aa and all sorts of other meetings every hour or so during the day US time. The community there is lovely.
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Welcomeā¦ I am also April 
go us !
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Congratulations on day 2 !! 
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Another day won instead of another āday oneā. Congratulations and welcome to the community. : )
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I donāt know about this @Smedley448 I would of thought you would of been the perfect person to give advice! The first couple of weeks are the hardest, IMO. If you find something is soothing you or something that might help, share matey! We are all at different stages of our journey but no one is any more vital than the other, again this is my opinion anywho. 
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Its my first day too
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Sorry for the bad mojo was just feeling low plus I had to deal with some issues with my mom and if there is a trigger on the planet it is her. Not that she means to but I spend half my time keeping her off suicide watch. To share a little back story it has been a hard year. We lost my grandmother (my best friend on the planet) my moms mother and we watched my stepdad also (man who raised me) die with cancer took care of him with at home hospice he passed and a month later my aunt died which was the closest sibling my mom had. It has been a constant trying to help her deal with life trying to be there when she needs me and st the same time trying to be strong when I just am not. I am broken just like she is but she will never know. Thanks for listening tonight was especially had but I am proud of me still.
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That sounds very hard and Iām sorry you and your family have gone through such terrible times. but you didnāt drink and that is a massive achievement so you should be proud of yourself
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Day 3. Checking in. The first time I got sober it was like 14 months. I did it for my baby girl. Now I feel like its just that time
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April Iām so sorry for all of the loss that you and your family have been through. Iām very proud of you, you are doing really well and we are here for you. 
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