Every Friday, our friends come over for game night. We usually play board games, but play Dungeons and Dragons occasionally too. About half the time, one of our friends will bring a 12 pack of beer, but none of the others ever get drunk; they have, like, 1 or 2. My husband and I would be the ones to get stuff like Mikes Harders and vodka and get really drunk. We were happy drunks, but still drunk. I’d eventually fall asleep sitting up at the game table then excuse myself to bed.
Tonight will be the first game night sober. I mentioned that to my husband and he said, “Oh, so you didn’t want to drink tonight?” And now that’s all I can think about. I’m kicking myself for telling him no, even though I KNOW that’s the right thing to do. Even writing this, I just want to go out and get some and rationalize, I’ll only do this on game nights…
If it was me i would be thinking about how i woukd like to feel when i wake up tomorrow:
I wake up disappointed in myself, with feelings of guilt and shame and regret, anxiety you know that feeling im talking about? The one that make me feel so horrible and regret i gave in so easily.
I wake up back in the viscous cycle.
I wake up feeling proud of myself because i made it sober, feeling happy and free and not bound to my addiction. Knowing that i tried and i accomplished staying sober and inhave no regrets, and i still had a nice time. I didnt act silly or say stupid things i am awake and i have a great day ahead of me because i didnt give in to my addiction.
I hope you have a nice sober night, you can do this! You have the strength to do this.
I am incredibly, uncomfortably familiar with number 1
I really want number 2! Especially bc i have an incredibly full weekend ahead, including an overnight shift Sunday (I’m a project manager and my organizatiom is doing a system upgrade 130a-6a…on daylight savings night )
It is SO hard to reconcile the logical part of your brain and your Id.
Maybe just think tell yourself you will not drink, take it 20 minutes at a time 5 minutes at a time if you have to and im sure once you settle into a game you will relax and enjoy the games.
You are doing so well and its great you reached out here for support
I know it’s hard at the beginning, changing ingrained habits. I’m here to tell you it’s obtainable and so worth it!
Take the value and importance away from alcohol, it’s a myth that you need it,
Update: One of our normal attendee’s girlfriend came over tonight; she does so occasionally. And she had her bf go out and buy her a bottle of Jack before we started playing. It really, REALLY sucked not participating, but I didn’t! It’s gotten easier throughout the night, and its been nice staying clear-headed. But I’d be lying if it hasn’t been a constant thought/desire in my head the whole night.
Congrats on making it through, the more times you assert that no the easier it gets. It helps me to take a breath and play the tape all the way through when I want to drink. I mentally see myself taking that drink, then the ten that follow, I feel my face get numb and I say something embarrassing and I take myself all the way through the horrific hangover the next morning. This is also a habit that gets easier the more you practice. Well done sticking to your plan!
I bet you were much better at the game, weren’t you?! Watching the others slowly getting out of shape. Watching them reach the point where they were still drinking but obviously not enjoying it anymore. Feeling like a million dollars at the end of the evening, and even better in the morning.
I now much prefer sober games nights. It was hard at first, but I now never think about drinking and none of my friends ever even mention it. I’ve noticed I’m winning a lot more games, too.
Proud of myself for staying strong, even though my husband was less than helpful
I’m such a people pleaser that “attaboys” really go a long way with me. Another thing that helped was the idea that if I gave in, I’d have to report back here that I did, and that idea wasn’t acceptable to me lol. I know I should ultimately do this for myself, and I am, but the knowledge that others may be disappointed in or judge me helps me stay the course.
Nah, we call it “telling on ourselves.” Sometimes just cueing others in to what we’re doing is a little bit of insurance to help us stay focused. And you did that and it worked!
After the fact though, wasn’t it nice being able to stay bright and sharp for the whole game night? I find focusing on the activity I’m trying to enjoy is a big motivator for not picking up.
I love game nights too, and the thought of spoiling them with a drunk just seems ridiculous now. Especially among good friends who aren’t big drinkers themselves.
It was definitely uncomfortable to see her get progressively more inebriated, and be completely unable to comprehend any rules by the end of the night, bc that was me quite often. It embarassed me to think about the number of times I was the same, bc of how annoying it was on the sober end.
)
