It seems like you’re realizing the severe nature of your drinking problem. Like you, I could not stay sober on my own. What worked for me, in the first month, was Antabuse (I’m not sure where in the world you are, the chemical name of the drug is disulfiram) and individual counseling, also support from my doctor. After one month I had to stop taking Antabuse and I went back to AA and did what they told me to do. Don’t forget that much of AA is available on line now, if it isn’t live in your area.
I did those things I had to do in order to get into bed sober each night. There is enough help in the universe for you to do the same. Blessings on your house as you begin your sobriety.
as you begin your sobriety.