So today is my first post, my first day of having to be sober. I am 30, a mother of 3 and have been drinking everyday since my 2 year old daughter was born. I drank occasionally while I was pregnant with her and a few nights a week before I was pregnant with her. I used to drink occasionally before kids, drink socially after my first was born and it has slowly gotten worse. I am secretly an alcoholic. My family, friends, neighbors, no one knows except my partner. Who also drinks everyday. I had tried to convince myself that I dont have a problem bc I get up everyday early, make my kids breakfast, bring them to the park, keep the house clean, cook dinner every night, read my kids a book before bed etc. But as soon as the go to sleep I drink and chain smoke, take a shower and go to bed. Ive never got a DUI, gone to jail or any problems related to drinking. I swore when my daughter turned one I would stop drinking every night. Shes going to be 2 next month and I still havent stopped. I dont feel good, I look in the mirror and dont see the bright, young vibrant, and fit girl I used to be. I see a worn out, overweight, grey and depressed woman. I feel like shit most days and realize I am slowly starting to lose patience with my kids and have little energy to play with them. I have brain fog and I think my liver hurts sometimes. My mother was a terrible abusive alcoholic and I swore I would never drink. I dont have family here I recently moved and dont have friends. This social distancing has made it hard to stop. But I just found out I am pregnant and now I really have no choice but I feel like I want to cry at night when I cant have a drink and I feel like I cant do it but I dont want to hurt my baby. Iām scared at the thought of not being able to stay sober, or drinking again after the baby is born. I feel lost. I dont think my boyfriend is serious about quitting with me either 
Hi, welcome itās always hard when we get to that point in our addiction where we know WE HAVE TO STOP we lay down and accept that we have a problem that affects every part of our lives,once you have surrendered to that the rest will follow, please remember in these early days to give yourself care and love be gentle donāt expect miracles but if you stick with it little miracles will happen .
You can stop drinking now. Everything is going to be alright. This is what I heard in my head the day I stopped and it has been true ever since. I believe itās true for you too!
Hereās a link to a terrific thread full of ways to get and stay sober. Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey.
Donāt drink just until you get to bed tonight, thatās all you have to deal with today.
Congrats on your pregnancy and your choice to get sober! Iām sorry if your boyfriend doesnāt want to quit with you, it will be harder without him but you know itās what you need and want to do, for yourself and for your kids. Keep reminding yourself why quitting drinking is the right thing, keep coming here and writing your truth (so brave,) keep taking care of yourself. You have people here for you, rooting for you 
Do you remember when you first tried something new, anything new in your life span? You were nervous right and you probably didnāt know whether you were able to do it or not. Doubting yourself but at the end of the day you did it right, you toke your first steps, you rode that bike, you learned how to drive a car etcā¦ Same thing here if you put it in your mind and really try you can do it just like you have done all your life think about it, your making a good decision to stop drinking and smoking not only for you but for your kids.
I decided to quit drinking for good, for myself & children. I used to drink all the time, maybe not every night, but when I would, it would be to an excess. I would drink when my kids would go to bed because I didnt want them to see me drunk - but the next morning, I would be hungover and sick to do anything with them. It made me depressed. I decided to go to treatment for 21 days because even though I could get some sobriety under my belt, I would always relapse. And every relaspe got worse! Iām currently 52 days sober and I already see the positive changes in my life. My thinking is more rational, I always have money (I used to always be broke because I would drink until I had no money), I have so much energy, and my children are coming home soon. I had to leave my childrenās dad because he couldnāt and still wonāt get sober. And no matter how much it hurt - it still is the best decision I made. You cant change someone who doesnt want to change for themselves. Try journaling, online meetings, reading the big book, try new things you never done before like art, going for walks. I believe in you, you got this. You are stronger than you think
Welcome! This is a great place with great people to help in your journey.
Outstanding effort.
I see some parallels with my journey.
In fact, everyone here will find similarities, as well as differences, with each otherā¦ But itās the similarities and understanding that are truly helpful.
Congrats on your first post
Welcome!
Welcome and congrats on your pregnancy. Come here often to read and post, it will help you lots. I look forward to following your journey.
I am sitting here boohoo crying grateful tears!!! Thank you all so much for reading my post and then responding. Omg. I didnt expect to feel this way. Human connection is great lol! Thank you so much for sharing your advice and stories and knowing I have people I can connect with and lean on! Sending so much love! Iām laying on the couch reading these over and over and browsing through topics because apparently I dont get sleepy when I dont drinkšāāļø
Welcome. I didnāt get a DUI or go to jail though I should have. I quit before the āyetsā happened. I didnāt get a DUI yetā¦ Anyway this was the first place I found. I was able to post and talk to like minded ppl. There is a lot of support out there. I also go to AA which helped me to live life on lifeās terms. Whatever your path and whatever your journey I wish you the best. There are so many people willing to help and listen. You can do this. You can get and stay sober.