This is great advice - I imagine it gets a hell of a lot easier after that first drink. Iāll focus on getting over that āfuck it, Iāll just have oneā mentality (we all know what happens from there) and get over that first bit.
5 Likes
Itās where the battle is actually won or lost. Say ānoā to the first drink, and you win, 100%. Say yes, and itās generally downhill from there.
5 Likes
You will more than likely have a great time. But if you donāt, just leave! You donāt have to stay if you donāt want to. Being prepared to leave early was important to me when I did my first party sober. I didnāt have to but knowing that I could if I wanted to really helped.
In my experience @Dejavu is spot on. No one cares! If you are having fun and they are having fun, it is unlikely to come up. I guess the thing is, no one else cares about how much we drink as much as we do. I think thatās a feature of the alcoholic brain.
If it does come up, well drunk people are fairly easy to change the conversation on. Most people like talking about themselves after a few so a simple āno thanksā or āI just donāt feel like itā, followed by a question about them should be enough to keep things moving 
You may also be surprised at the number of people there who drink less than you expect. I didnāt realise how much more than most people I was drinking until I stopped.
You will connect with people in a new way, you will remember all the conversations and you can still dance sober. Plus no fights, no wondering what stupid shit you said and no hangovers. Sounds exciting 
5 Likes
Oh and congratulations on the engagement! Lovely news
2 Likes
Tipsā¦
-
would you like a drink? Yes I would love a water I am so thirsty.
-
I am on antibioticsā¦ (lie until you feel secure enough to talk about why you arenāt drinking.
-
let the gossiping begin about your phantom pregnancy
3 Likes
I think it depends on where you are in your sobriety. Early on it was a concern for me, 1 due to temptation, and 2 due to feeling self conscious about not being like everyone else. I am now at a point where I actually sat with a friend at a bar, and ordered, a non alcoholic drink, and was able to just enjoy the moment. I also now have no trouble just saying " I donāt drink", with no need to explain further.
Earlier on, at events that I could not avoid, I would hold a cup so when pushy people offered a drink, I could say I had one. I would also use that cup to throw shots in that people would insist on me taking. People are too drink to notice what youāre doing unless you bring attention to it.
3 Likes
Thanks for all the fab tips - I probably will have a great time (just nerves getting the better of me.!).
Itās a good point about people drinking less then I expect. Youāre right. In my head, everyone will get trashed because thatās what Iād usually do, but itās a family event and Iām certain people wonāt be struggling around throwing up outsideā¦ Not I come to think of it! X
2 Likes
And thanks 
1 Like
I think itās totally normal to be nervous the first time you have to deal with something like this sober, I know I was!
The fact that youāre thinking about it is a good thing, it means you can go prepared
2 Likes
Just say your on antibiotics
3 Likes
Just remember: No. Is a complete sentence. You shouldnāt have to explain yourself to anyone. If they keep insisting that you drink you can always ask. āSure Iāll take a beer, but first, would you like some heroin?ā
5 Likes
This is so true. Iāve finally realized I can just say ānoā. I donāt need to give reasons or excuses if I donāt want to. A colleague asked me yesterday if I was going to celebrate my 90 days with a blackout bender. Wtf? You canāt fix stupid sometimes.
4 Likes
In that case I think āfuck youā is also a complete sentence.
Side note: one my one year I publicly (Facebook) opened up about my addiction. I received numerous calls from old friends to wish me well. One guy made a point to tell me that next time Iām back in Pittsburgh that they are all willing to do sober things so I can be included. They are fairly big drinkers, but not of the alcoholic variety. For me transparency was the best method.
3 Likes
Haha 
very good, although if I say āfuck youā to my fiances mum, might cause me a bit of trouble
But totally, transparency is key. I donāt wanna lie about stuff, but I donāt wanna go into āIām an alcoholicā eitherā¦ Iāll probably just say Iāve quit āfor a whileā. Avoid prodding.
Plus, your friends sound amazing x
1 Like
I went to my first party sober on Friday and I found literally no one noticed! I didnāt even have to say anything, I just kept topping up my glass with apple juice. People kept offering to top me up with prosecco and I just kept saying I already had one - it saves the awkward conversations people seem to want when you say youāre not drinking! Hope you have a lovely time at the party and congratulations on your engagement 
5 Likes
Another thing I did was fully immerse myself in sober benefits articles and YouTube videos before the party. I wanted to make sure my mindset was fully there so that I wouldnāt be tempted at all, i literally lay in bed every night watching videos about how great sobriety is 
5 Likes
I canā t add anything to all the amazinh advicesā¦ but isnā t it SO SAD that alcohol is the only drug that you need to justify to others that you donāt take it!!
This annoyes me so much!
We are brainwashed!
Smoke a joint at the party and everybody will look horrified. Put a line of coke on the table and you get kicked out!.
But if you don" t fill your body with glasses of poisson you are the outcast. Im on antibiotics, im drivingā¦ i personally think every time you lie about your wonderfull brave sobriety your unconsious mind takes not its a negative thing.
I would not explain ( no thanks!) Or say i like my mornings nice and energetic 
No one will notice, which is actually a shame!
Go have fun and you will still look amazing in that train back Ɣnd you will have a big smile the next morning. X
5 Likes
I completely agree, itās crazy we have to justify our healthy life choices! So true, you feel so much better on your way home with lovely memories of the eveningsā¦ Rather than the previous me having to be bundled into a taxi and not knowing how I got home so freaking out all day the next day!
2 Likes
totally agree
1 Like