Im doing it, I used to have a room reserved in a resort with unlimited alcohol and food and I changed to my friends house to avoid it, Im planning to go to bed early, Im not going to clubs, I know that I cannot handle it, I will take your advices and stay active here and on my meetings.
That is the reason why Im scarry, I remember on my last vacation that I drink all day and dont stop even to eat… I want to think that Im doing the thing different this time, and the C19 helps a lot! They are not selling alcohol, so if will be difficult for me to have a drink om my hand, I want go stay sober, my friend knows my new situation and I hope that she helps me to keep in track.
I understand that you are determined to go. To stay sober, you will need every tool available to you. I don’t think it’s enough to just say you’ll go to bed early and have a run every day. If I was going, I’d schedule from early morning until bedtime and stick to it. Otherwise, you are very likely to have a beachy drink in your hand when you’re caught off guard. Example: 7am - run, 9am meeting, 12 - lunch, etc.
I wish you well. You are right to be worried. So use that fear to protect you.
If you do go, one helpful trick is to always have a non alcoholic drink in your hand: Perrier, juice, etc. If there’s a drink in your hand, no one will offer you another.
Another helpful tool is to plan to attend virtual sobriety groups every day, even multiple times a day, especially at those times when you feel vulnerable (for example, lunch or evening). There are many online options: Online meeting resources
I recently completed a vacation and attended my recovery group online while I was away. The people on your vacation will understand; they care about you and they support your health. (No one thinks it’s unusual to go for a run or visit the gym, for your health, while you’re on vacation, so why should they think it’s unusual for you to do a different activity for your health? It’s all about staying healthy.)
@Matt and @Dazercat both nailed it with working out and having a non-alcoholic drink with you.
Just a few weeks into my sobriety, I had to go on my family’s annual vacation to the beach which is usually a week of doing nothing but drinking and “relaxing” in the rental house. We stay at the same house every year and everything is within walking distance, so everyone drinks a ton because no one ever has to drive anywhere.
Anyway, I was terrified but couldn’t avoid the family tradition.
I made it through sober by working out every single morning and by taking it literally one hour at a time. I also drank about 300 cans of seltzer water.
Don’t stress yourself out by thinking about staying sober the next day or the day after. Sometimes that causes too much anxiety. Just focus on staying sober wherever you are at the moment and it will be less stressful.
I want to thank you a lot, I feel that Im not going by my self now, Im really gratefull of having your advices, and I will do everything you mention to stay sober, I will do it for me and becouse I never feel this way before in this 15 years… I have a friend who is sober since 2 years a go and she told me that I can call her all day long if I feel that I need it, I will plan my days and drink a lot of sparkling water… Sorry if my vocabulary is to short, I speak spanish and only use english for work! Thank you @EarnIt@Nordique@Dazercat@anon12657779@Mno@Matt@JasonFisher
Since the plans are in place and you’re definitely going, I would suggest a few things.
Make sure your friend knows that you are 100% serious about not drinking, period. No exceptions. Make sure they know that you might need to leave an outing or situation because it feels unsafe for your sobriety. Ask them if they can support you in that and help hold you accountable. In the early days for me, it was helpful to have an “accountability partner” like that if I was in a scenario where there was drinking around. I never needed to ask that person for help, but it was helpful in itself to have someone there who at least knew about my decision to not drink. The buddy system is real!
Remind yourself why you’re staying sober, and remember the idea that “what happens on vacation, stays on vacation” is a lie. I know that’s a thought process that can pop up for some people when going on a trip newly sober - “I can just do it this once, and start over when I get home” – this is bullshit. Ask yourself what value drinking brings to the experience - the answer is nothing. Nothing but a headache and shame.
I can attest to the fact that all of the trips I have been on sober (5 or 6 by now) were far better than any trip I had while drinking. I didn’t waste any days hungover, made the most of my days, had more money to enjoy actual experiences of value, and I regretted absolutely nothing by the end of it or when I returned home. They were trips I could look back on fondly without any guilt or embarrassments. I can’t say the same for many trips in my “old life”.
Finally, a simple line that can help diffuse those thoughts of drinking if they do pop up - “I have always regretted drinking. I have never regretted not drinking”. The next morning you will always – ALWAYS – be glad that you chose not to drink, rather than giving in. I have conducted these experiments in my personal lab and this is 100% true.
Watch your thoughts, stay aware, stay safe, and don’t kid yourself. Vigilance. It’s up to you to make it a lovely trip worth remembering, or one you’d rather forget. Take care!
Hi Luisa !
Congratz on 24 days your rocking it If i were you i would use vacation to strengthen myself even more in my sobriety if in the past this was a place where you would get drunk it wouldnt be smart to go especially if your already doubting yourself this early you will create inner strength the more you add your days the more strength equals more confidence in your yourself to trust yourself just my 2 cents hope it helps wishing you the best
Hi @TMAC my friend already know that Im not drinking, she support me a lot and states that she is ok with not going out late, she already make plans for us to do different activities and tours away from alcohol… Im feel confident, but I need to keep in my mind all the horrible things that happen when I drink. Thanks a lot!
Im feeling stronger with all your words and advices, I start enojoying my sober life…
I know that is difficult for us at the beggining separate the fun from the alcohol… And believe me, here in México the people drink for everything, if a child born, if your team is playing, if they winn, if they loose, if you dont have anything to do… But my friends and the people around me understand becouse they see me suffer a lot, losing my job, losing relationships, my phone every 3 months… Etc, and those are the things that I need to remember.
@NateRC I saw it to late haha… Im back, It was a nice but also difficult trip! The most of the people dont understand my problem, but Im back and safe, I enjoy it a lot!
I will take your advices and stay active here and on my meetings.
