Hi guys! Im on my day 24… Almost a month, I been lost for a few days but just because I have lots of work before going on vacation, Im going to Puerto Vallarta one of my favorite places on eart… But I feel a little scarry
Beach, sun, bikini… And always in the past getting drunk, my friend who lives there already knows that Im not drinking, but I dont know if mentaly I can handle it. I used to live in Cancun 11 years a go working as a barman, I start with black outs and losing my perteneces there. Can you give me any advices???
I really want to enjoy the things that I love, I dont want to feel scary, but also I don’t know if im strong enough.
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Congrats on 24 days. I don’t think I’d be going on a vacation to Mexico or anywhere with that little amount of time under my belt. But that’s just me. It sounds like your going and I hope you have a good time. I guess you could check in here a lot. Virtual meetings? Drink a lot of sparkling water. Get some exercise every day so you have those happy natural endorphins flowing through your brain.
Good luck.
I wish you well.
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I think it’s hard to know what we love in early sobriety. For so many years we’ve been in addiction; they’re wrapped up with each other.
Try imagining your time there, sober. What do you see? What do you feel? What do you fear would be missing, if you were sober?
To put it another way: what do you think might pull you back? Is there anything you can change, to keep yourself safe?
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@Dazercat Im planing to go to run every day, Im excercising a lot this 24 days… I believe that it keeps me away from partys. I know that is risky 
but Im at home since my birthday (03/20) and Im going crazy! I have 2 weeks with the virtual meetings, I will take your advices!!! Thank you so much !
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Set your limits beforehand. Write them down. Keep them with you. Read them ten times a day. The choice is simple and the choice is yours. You either drink or you do not. Once you had one you will have many more. As long as you keep to zero you are safe. And keep doing the meetings while you’re there. Enjoy your sober holidays.
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You are right, for so many years the alcohol has been part of everything I love… Friends, vacations, relationships, birthdays… But now it makes me suffer, I really want to learn to enjoy my life without it… And on this 24 days its apparenty happening, my mom is happy and talking to me again, Im back with my boyfriend… I do imagine my self being there not drinking, enjoying the nature, talking with my friend, taking pictures of everything… Running at the beach, I want to be ok! But I also think, and what happen if Im wrong? What happen if im not ready and I drink and lost my money and my purse like I did it before? I want to believe that I will be ok, and that I can do it
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Thanks a lot! I will do it… You are right, is my choice, i need to remember why Im here, and all the consequences of not being sober.
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Personally I wouldn’t be going. I put my sobriety over everything in the early days.
That said though as @Mno says, you have made a choice, it’s your choice and no one can take it away from you.
Set boundaries, stick to them. If it means going to bed early but the party is in full swing, that’s the choice, if you want to stay sober.
Have fun.
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One of the important things we learn in sobriety is emotIonal self-awareness. We have been burying our emotions under our addictions for so long that we have forgotten (or never really learned) how to respond to them in a healthy way
The emotion you’re feeling now is fear. Fear is caused by danger (or possible danger). Fear helps keep us safe when we are vulnerable.
Can you postpone this trip until you feel more secure? You will feel more confident later; it will come.
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At seven months sober i went on vacation with money that I had saved from drinking.
I had planned on staying sober while on vacation, but it didnt work out that way.
I had a reservation about drinking and when the opportunity knocked. I drank.
I messed up most of my vacation.
I hadnt told my date how bad of a drunk I am. She bought me a drink, and I drank it.
I didnt want to scare her away by being honest about my alcoholism. So I hid it and accidently showed her what a wreckless, angry drunk I am.
If I had it to do over again, I would have been honest, and avoided ruining our trip.
Its hard not to drink on islands where everyone else on vacation is drinking.
I think I could do it now. But I wasnt prepared then.
It ended up being good for me as I havent had a drop of alcohol since. Over a year!
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Im doing it, I used to have a room reserved in a resort with unlimited alcohol and food and I changed to my friends house to avoid it, Im planning to go to bed early, Im not going to clubs, I know that I cannot handle it, I will take your advices and stay active here and on my meetings.
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That is the reason why Im scarry, I remember on my last vacation that I drink all day and dont stop even to eat… I want to think that Im doing the thing different this time, and the C19 helps a lot! They are not selling alcohol, so if will be difficult for me to have a drink om my hand, I want go stay sober, my friend knows my new situation and I hope that she helps me to keep in track.
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I understand that you are determined to go. To stay sober, you will need every tool available to you. I don’t think it’s enough to just say you’ll go to bed early and have a run every day. If I was going, I’d schedule from early morning until bedtime and stick to it. Otherwise, you are very likely to have a beachy drink in your hand when you’re caught off guard. Example: 7am - run, 9am meeting, 12 - lunch, etc.
I wish you well. You are right to be worried. So use that fear to protect you.
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If you do go, one helpful trick is to always have a non alcoholic drink in your hand: Perrier, juice, etc. If there’s a drink in your hand, no one will offer you another.
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Another helpful tool is to plan to attend virtual sobriety groups every day, even multiple times a day, especially at those times when you feel vulnerable (for example, lunch or evening). There are many online options:
Online meeting resources
I recently completed a vacation and attended my recovery group online while I was away. The people on your vacation will understand; they care about you and they support your health. (No one thinks it’s unusual to go for a run or visit the gym, for your health, while you’re on vacation, so why should they think it’s unusual for you to do a different activity for your health? It’s all about staying healthy.)
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@Matt and @Dazercat both nailed it with working out and having a non-alcoholic drink with you.
Just a few weeks into my sobriety, I had to go on my family’s annual vacation to the beach which is usually a week of doing nothing but drinking and “relaxing” in the rental house. We stay at the same house every year and everything is within walking distance, so everyone drinks a ton because no one ever has to drive anywhere.
Anyway, I was terrified but couldn’t avoid the family tradition.
I made it through sober by working out every single morning and by taking it literally one hour at a time. I also drank about 300 cans of seltzer water.
Don’t stress yourself out by thinking about staying sober the next day or the day after. Sometimes that causes too much anxiety. Just focus on staying sober wherever you are at the moment and it will be less stressful.
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I want to thank you a lot, I feel that Im not going by my self now, Im really gratefull of having your advices, and I will do everything you mention to stay sober, I will do it for me and becouse I never feel this way before in this 15 years… I have a friend who is sober since 2 years a go and she told me that I can call her all day long if I feel that I need it, I will plan my days and drink a lot of sparkling water… Sorry if my vocabulary is to short, I speak spanish and only use english for work! Thank you @EarnIt @Nordique @Dazercat @anon12657779 @Mno @Matt @JasonFisher
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Hi,
Since the plans are in place and you’re definitely going, I would suggest a few things.
Make sure your friend knows that you are 100% serious about not drinking, period. No exceptions. Make sure they know that you might need to leave an outing or situation because it feels unsafe for your sobriety. Ask them if they can support you in that and help hold you accountable. In the early days for me, it was helpful to have an “accountability partner” like that if I was in a scenario where there was drinking around. I never needed to ask that person for help, but it was helpful in itself to have someone there who at least knew about my decision to not drink. The buddy system is real!
Remind yourself why you’re staying sober, and remember the idea that “what happens on vacation, stays on vacation” is a lie. I know that’s a thought process that can pop up for some people when going on a trip newly sober - “I can just do it this once, and start over when I get home” – this is bullshit. Ask yourself what value drinking brings to the experience - the answer is nothing. Nothing but a headache and shame.
I can attest to the fact that all of the trips I have been on sober (5 or 6 by now) were far better than any trip I had while drinking. I didn’t waste any days hungover, made the most of my days, had more money to enjoy actual experiences of value, and I regretted absolutely nothing by the end of it or when I returned home. They were trips I could look back on fondly without any guilt or embarrassments. I can’t say the same for many trips in my “old life”.
Finally, a simple line that can help diffuse those thoughts of drinking if they do pop up - “I have always regretted drinking. I have never regretted not drinking”. The next morning you will always – ALWAYS – be glad that you chose not to drink, rather than giving in. I have conducted these experiments in my personal lab and this is 100% true.
Watch your thoughts, stay aware, stay safe, and don’t kid yourself. Vigilance. It’s up to you to make it a lovely trip worth remembering, or one you’d rather forget. Take care!
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Having a support friend will be good.
Alcohol became such a normal thing in life I forgot that I could have fun without it. Even though the fun ended long ago.
When I came too from my relapse, support here helped me keep it short. Since then support from this forum has helped me walk through challenges sober!
Glad your here!
Not drinking and doing fun things is possible and even funner without booze.
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Hi Luisa !
Congratz on 24 days your rocking it 
If i were you i would use vacation to strengthen myself even more in my sobriety if in the past this was a place where you would get drunk it wouldnt be smart to go especially if your already doubting yourself this early you will create inner strength the more you add your days the more strength equals more confidence in your yourself to trust yourself just my 2 cents hope it helps wishing you the best
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