I really don’t know where or how to start. Work and life is so overwhelming that as soon as I get a chance I pick up a drink. I can’t even form relationships or be around people socially without needing to be drunk. When I have a bad day all I can think of is a drink at the end of the night, one drink turns into 10 then i’m hungover the next morning dragging myself to work just to do it all over again. When I stop drinking for a couple days I just replace it with binge eating. I feel like I have zero control over myself or my life.
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Welcome Grace.
That pattern sounds very familiar. I remember those days. It’s a vicious cycle isn’t it?
I’m glad you found us. Have a good read around. Learn all you can about addiction and find support. It took me lots of support to beat the cycle of addiction.
Here’s a good thread to start with.
Being active on here is just one of my tools that keeps me sober. Lots of great support here.
Hope to see you around.
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First I want to say welcome to the community this is a really awesome place and you’ll find lots of support and help from a lot of great people. This is a great first step admitting that You have a problem. My biggest suggestion is getting involved with a program.I Use alcoholics anonymous but there is many other programs available. The main thing is to be involved with your recovery on a daily basis and be around other people in recovery that can help and support you. Go to meetings and get involved and network with other people in recovery. Journal and write about your progress like you’re currently doing right now. Write about the good times and the bad times. Get involved with hobbies you stopped doing because of your drinking and drug use. Stay busy with positive activities. In the beginning it might seem stressful or impossible to live life sober and be content and happy but I 100% want to say it’s possible. Keep things simple right now and don’t stress about the future as much as getting through today without a drink or drug. Before you know it the days will stack up and you will be learning how to exist in this world without escaping and you’ll be able to live with your emotions and feelings sober. Things will work out for you if you Put your recovery before everything. Things might seem hopeless right now but to be honest this is a good place to be because it motivates you to make change. Obviously drinking and drug use is not working in your life so it’s time to try something different. Hang in there I promise it gets better. Thanks for reaching out and welcome to the community
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That’s the first step to recovery admitting you have a problem and the second step is asking for help, so far so good. Your story sounds so familiar but I bet you don’t just drink on the bad days and like me there is generally any reason to drink, happy, sad, angry, bored, hard day at work, nice day off, yep always a good day for a drink. I too found life unmanageable but what I didn’t know at the time is that drinking wasn’t my problem in fact it was the cure to all my problems and the biggest problem was me. Once I stopped drinking and learning new coping mechanisms 99% of my problems seem to vanish overnight bc the funny thing is most of them were in my head and when I woke up everyday I had already told myself what a shit day it was going to be and how I was going to react to every shit person and their shit conversations. Now I wake up with a clear head and life and people aren’t strangely all out to get me and if I do face a problem (a real one) I decide if I can solve it in any way and if I can’t then it’s not worth worrying about I’ll just have to accept that life and people aren’t always going to do what I want and that’s OK.
Sorry for running on but I just want you to know that if you don’t pick up that drink today your entire life will become a lot clearer and that washing machine constantly spinning in your head will one day turn off.
I wish you well on your journey 
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Welcome. Well done on the first couple of steps, admitting you are powerless over alcohol and wanting to stop. It is possible to live a sober life. I never imagined I could get off the hamster wheel that you described. I too was just going round and round and round. I don’t do AA as so far, for me, this forum is all the support I need. But if I was to struggle again I would most definitely consider other support groups. I have to completely agree with what @Dolse71 said above 
. Just don’t drink today. Take it a minute at a time if you have to. Come here, we will help to keep you busy. I’m so glad you found this place. Together we can do this! I’m wishing you all the very best @grace01 . Be gentle with yourself. Drink plenty of water and rest as much as you can. Look forward to seeing you around, welcome to this fab family
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i sat on my bed at my mums after i separated from my wife and said to my mum i think i have a problem with drink she said son i could have told you that years ago , went to AA and never looked back i was 34 today im 73 and still sober so wise decision i think wish you well
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