All we can do is tell our story
- 1 week shy of 3 years. As I get closer to this anniversary I get reflective.
My drinking career lasted 24ish years. In that time, I “relapsed” over and over and over. I poured enough booze down the drain to get a small country drunk…twice.
At about the 3rd year drinking I knew I had a problem. I would do stupid shit, wake up…feel remorse…quit. A couple days later I would start again.
I would put rules in place: no hard liquor during the weekdays, only 3 beers at dinner, ect, ect.
I would count the times I quit. To many to count, wonder why I could never just quit. Truth be told, I wasnt quitting. I was humoring my addiction and trying to alleviate guilt. I was never in recovery, I was just an active alcoholic.
It came to my bottom, putting a gun in my mouth. I was lucky, I quit…and here I am.
If you find yourself constantly relapsing…are you actually in recovery or in active addiction. I guess its perspective. However, the question comes down to this…why are you choosing to continue to drink.
Looking back at those 2 decades, drinking was always a choice. I choose to listen to my addiction. If you are constantly relapsing, and you are reading this…the choice is yours. Keep drinking or choose life.
In the beginning the choice seems tough. It isnt when you get a few 24 hrs under your belt.
Anyway…just my thoughts reflecting back
Stay sober friends.
Couldn’t agree more with this! 
