Well I went a full 10 days without pmo. I thought I had control… Guess not..
What’s PMO?
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It’s alright …but you don’t have to feel sad about it …just stay strong… reset …stay motivated …you are already a good person who want to improve …stay strong …
Porn/Masterbation/orgasm
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IT IS REALLY OKAY. I am 177 days PMO free. And failing once, twice or thrice or for n number of times is FINE.
UNLESS,
you don’t learn from it and try again harder 
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You have the vision. …you want to change …you are already a good human …try to reach 15 days or 30 days next time … that’s how you will grow …we can’t leave this addiction in just one go …we have to fight …
No orgasm in half a year? Do you have wet dreams? If you don’t your body will for you lol
Yes yes . I’ve had wet dreams.. 4 times in 6 months.
So are you constantly sexually frustrated? What is the incentive for not orgasming?
We’re here for you man. I know the comedown of a relapse is absolutely draining and awful. Take a cold shower, go for a run, talk to someone after you look yourself in the eye in front of the mirror, genuinely smile and mean it and forgive yourself. Then clean yourself up and start over.
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Currently I’m not frustrated in any sense. Life is healthier And better..
What keeps me going?
Like any other addiction it is toughest in the beginning and easier afterwards.
The logic goes same as any drug. I am clean from cocain for 6 months too.. We can’t afford to relapse. We have to remember the reason why we started the recovery in the first place.
The other day I was watching a music video on YouTube. The girls were twearking on my screen 
. I closed the monitor and remembered what will happen if I relapse.
The logic is same as any other drug though. We can’t afford to use again.
I don’t have any issue with orgasm that happen with sex though. It’s just that i am single 
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I’m having a problem with the cam girls and porn… It does not take much to get me on these sites. My partner isn’t as giving as she use to be. However I am finding this to be an addiction because it pulls me in to watch. The cam girls are a whole other beast. Somebody is actually on the other end. You getting used and don’t even realize it… Man shit has me all messed up. I do not feel good about myself right now.
Hey Newpath, I have only dabbled on those sites but can relate to how aluring and triggering they can be. I know it’s hard when your partner isn’t engaged physically, I’ve been there. And I have to remind myself that my problem is my problem, not hers.
As far as your feelings about yourself, you are not a bad person. The shame is hard to shake. I’ve found the only way I can let it go is by talking about it. Whether it’s here, in therapy, at a 12 step meeting, or with my oldest friend from college who I’ve chosen to share some struggles with.
I hope today goes well for you friend.
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Newpath, glad you’re here sharing. The shame of sex-based addictions are especially hard to shake because of the judgement that we sense from others when we try to be truthful about our addictions. I was raised Catholic and I am very familiar with guilt. However, I try to remember that the feelings of shame and guilt do not serve me.
In “Breaking the Cycle,” by George Collins there is an exercise that he encourages people with sexual addictions to do.
Imagine you’re on a stage and there is an audience an out there. For me, I imagine a stadium and I’m at the plate or in the field because so played baseball and it’s easy for me to relate to. Anyway, imagine that those voices that you hear in your head are members of the audience. When you start heading those negative voices, make an attempt to engage them. Ask them who they are, ask them what they want. For me, it really helped to identify the subpersonalities that are with me every day. If I listen to them and allow them to push me toward making negative choices I fall in to a shame spiral and end up watching porn again.
Listen closely to those voices that tell you to give up, or to retreat to the comfort of a pmo session. They’ll keep you locked in that cycle until you call them by name and find out their origins.
The main one that I contend with is the adolescent boy who found porn as an escape from my parents’ dysfunctional relationship, an escape from the fear of rejection, an escape from every single thing that might elicit the smallest discomfort.
I know it sounds like a silly exercise but try talking back to them. You may find out where some of the unresolved pain you’re numbing is coming from.
Or try reading the book if you need more guidance, it really helped me to visualize the subpersonality and then to see that it’s a part of me but I do not need to feel compelled by. He’s just a mixed up teenager who should have found a healthy way to cope with the stresses of life. So I must be the “parent” to that kid. Inform him why these habits are dangerous and how objectify the human body will never satiate me and how it promotes a business that chews up and spits out thousands of young women and men for a very selfish act.
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Thanks, because I wondered too. Lol I was like " P and M I’m pretty sure I know what those are (cuz they’re my addiction), but I’d never heard about it with orgasm added to the mix. I wanna ask questions, yet I feel like I should be able to make sense of it… Like a smoker addicted to cigarettes vs. a smoker addicted to weed; different but similar, ya know? Idk if that was a good analogy or not. Generally the way I think about being a porn/masturbation addict is chasing that high which is the orgasm,so is that where the pmo term came about,in the sense that they’re all tied up? Or is the orgasm addiction part more so linked to wanting the orgasm so badly that you do almost anything to get it regardless of if it’s something sexual or not?
I read what you had written and I have been applying this scenario for the entire day about asking who is asking me to watch this. I feel empowered and I don’t have any urge today man… Thank you for your support.
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@Newpath30 keep going bro … thats great
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“Generally the way I think about being a porn/masturbation addict is chasing that high which is the orgasm,so is that where the pmo term came about,in the sense that they’re all tied up?”
Yes you’re right. It’s the orgasm achieved by masturbation from porn. It’s all a chain.
Orgasms from sex is a different thing. It’s more about bond and love you share with a whole different person. Am I correct?
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It can be. Men are hard wired biologically to seek out a variety of sexual partners and experiences. It led to a stronger and more diverse gene pool.
When we were cavemen you could go have sex with whoever. Today many people not getting regular sex masturbate. Some religions or cultures repress this (and also have a rape/misogyny problem). There’s no scientific benefit to abstaining necessarily.
I get shouted down when I suggest it’s not worth the torment to never have a sexual release. But what do scientists and physiatrists have on a subreddit?
There is a strong natural drive to reproduce. One has to be careful when our brain is continuely flooded with dopimine which drives our addiction. Abstinence can help our brains to reset. I went no pmo for 90 days. I thought I would explode. It slowly got better. It has been seven long months but slowly learning about healthy sexuality. One day at a time.
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