The hardest thing about sobriety is the feeling of having to do it for myself. Like why is that not enough for me. I am a functioning addict/alcoholic. Never have lost anything due to my addictions, have not had anyone tell me they have been hurt by me, even when I ask it’s like they don’t even notice when I’m drunk or high. Sure the opportunity is always there if I continue down the line, but the main reason I stopped is just because it doesn’t make me feel good physically anymore. Still I have this itch to fall back into old habits, mainly when I’m around others who are drinking and/or doing drugs. I sometimes feel it would be easier if I was dysfunctional in life, but not having lost much leaves me wishing I had better excuses/reasons to stop. It frustrates me that my own health and well-being just isn’t enough.
This alone IS enough. Any reason is a good reason to get sober. I don’t think anyone needs to hit rock bottom or hurt someone to get sober. You’re doing something AMAZING by taking that preventative first step.
You don’t have to do this alone. This forum is an excellent resource, and the only way that I’ve been able to be sober for as long as I have been. There are also lots of other resources available. I’ll add a link to the thread.
You’re not alone in this. Wanting better for yourself is reason enough. We’re here with you!!
Thank you!! It definitely helps to have access to a community. I have tried AA in the past and liked it, been struggling to find one in my area with a more diverse population, but I’m hopeful. I have not tried NA yet, but might be a good option.
Lots of online meetings for AA and NA as well, pretty much available 24/7. I wish you luck and we’re walking alongside you!
And just after I post this, I checked my CoStar and this is my post of the day 
“You are capable of creating better habits.”
Hi Dalia, and welcome to Talking Sober!
Half in jest, half serious - in AA early on in my sobriety, I heard this “What do you call a functioning alcoholic? A drunk.” The “itch” you feel could be a manifestation of that hallmark of alcoholism, the obsession with it - planning to use it, using, recovering, remembering or fantasizing about the “glory days” of our drinking, and the discomfort we feel when we know we aren’t drinking or we can’t drink.
I lost a lot, there was no debate whether I was a functioning alcoholic. The only thing I kept was my job, barely, and my family, again barely. I got to the end of the road, multiple DUI’s and was facing serious prison time on the last charge when I got sober. So I’m not an expert on “not losing” people and things.
But I have heard, and have experienced this - because of my drinking, I was unable to acquire the things to lose. For sure in my case, I stayed in a crappy paying job with no advancement possibilities because they tolerated my crappy performance due to my drinking.
In recovery, we change the way we think (attitudes and beliefs), the way we feel and the way we act. Doing those things and connecting to a power beyond ourselves, cultivating the inner spiritual life, leads us to a way of living far more rewarding, happier, and more peaceful than any we could have fashioned for ourselves while we were drunks and junkies.
Blessings 
on your house as you begin your journey. I hope you come along with us.
Yeah I totally get that. For me I suppose I have lost the ability to fully experience connection with people when it comes to socializing, mainly dating. That is one thing that really stands out for me when I think about it. Like to meet/hangout with someone new I needed a drink or two first. If I was feeling nervous or anxious during, I needed another. Never really able to be fully present and in the experience with the person in front of me and if I couldn’t be drunk, or high, I didn’t even want to try. It’s true there are still things you can lose whether you’re “functioning” or a complete mess.
I was a “functioning alcoholic” very early in my drinking career, way back in my early teens. When that short period ended, I existed as an alcoholic functioning to drink.