Hello,
I just joined the forum as I decided to quit any alcohol 30 days ago. Before this year I was drinking normally and with control, never had loss of memory or throwing up etc… also I was mostly drinking just on weekends and celebrations.
This year I had 5-6 parties where I had too much alcohol and don’t remember everything from the party, so it was a moment to start psychotherapy where my therapist told me that I am functional alcoholic and that I shouldn’t have a sip of alcohol until rest of my life, even though I had more moments where I stopped drinking after 1,2 or three glasses, she said I am still alcoholic because I had this few parties from which I don’t remember everything. I was wondering about your opinion when it is considered addiction and disease?
I decided to follow her advice and not drink and continue therapy and I am managing for now without problems, just curious about general opinion what is considered alcoholism.
You guys are amazing and this community is very good, greetings to you all
In my opinion I have an addiction and a disease. Based on what you’re saying, if you “blacked out” more than once, then maybe you have both as well. My functionality didn’t last long. I’m glad I stop taking the risk. By the time I started talking to a therapist, I was way too far gone to take them seriously. I wish you the best if you decide to stay the course, abstaining has been difficult, but it is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, much like, say cancer. It often starts off slow and speeds up over time.
Early Alcoholism isn’t always obvious. Usually, many people start off as binge drinkers. They drink infrequently, but drink a lot when they do. There is often an illusion of control early on.
There are some professionals that say there are 2 requirements for one to have Alcoholism:
a genetic predisposition for addiction (not being able to stop when you start) and
Some sort of trauma; big T or little t trauma.
Occasionally drinking to memory loss isn’t necessarily a sign of Alcoholism as that is a biological reaction to too much alcohol, but when it continues to occur, then it’s something to be of concern.
The only cure of Alcoholism is to not drink.
Maybe you meet the criteria, maybe you don’t, but the truth is, not drinking is the only way to be safe, and it’s free and freeing!
I decide to not drink everyday. It sounds good for me to say I have put some time together, but realistically everyday is day 1. I have relapsed at least ten times over the course of 20 years. I am happy to say I haven’t drank in almost 5 years now, but since I am an addict with a disease, I am in the same boat as you. Long story short I stopped, when I realized I have to be honest with myself.
Thank you so much for response, it gives me something to think about and this is why I started this topic, trying to understand addiction and everything and to educate myself.
I’m sure this will be an unpopular opinion but I would say a fair few of my friends go to parties get drunk and don’t remember everything that happens, but they don’t have alcohol problems. Yes they are drinking too much on these occasions but they don’t feel powerless over alcohol or lack control more generally with it. I guess the difference between them and me is that they can control it if they wanted to where as I would really struggle to be able to consistently not get really drunk if I was trying not to.
Can you explain to me more difference between you and them? Were you drinking more often and more often getting to this level of not remembering as I mentioned?
I am really confused since my therapist mentioned functional alcoholic, because I didn’t take serious my alcoholism before I spoke to her. I always imagined having alcohol problem differently, as I could be without alcohol for some time, or just have few drinks and go home.
Before this year I was almost always the one who was sobering up my friends as I had limit with drinking and they didn’t. And now they are still drinking and I am the only one who stopped, which make me confused trying to understand when is clear that its alcohol abuse disorder
Hi @Beba welcome to TS maybe ask yourself these question s
Could you go to a party tonight stay there as long as you normally would and happily be there without picking up an alcoholic drink and feel comfortable not drinking when others are ?
How many times over the last 30 days have you wanted to take a drink ?
On the occasions where you only had 1 2 or three glasses were you trying to control your drinking?
I think if I’m here and writing here, I definitely have a problem consuming alcohol in a relaxed way. Whether I call myself an alcoholic or not doesn’t change that.
Yes I would be drinking more than most people if not everyone I was out with and yes I would get to blackout more often than they would. My drinking could also be destructive and had bad consequences, which theirs doesn’t. That being said I probably was a functioning alcoholic, had a good job, which my drinking didn’t affect, I would only drink on the weekends, I could also go weeks or months without drinking, and I could sometimes control myself and have a few drinks and not go wild. But I have always had a tenancy to drink too much, too quick and get out of control. I feel that after 2-3 drinks I find it very hard to stop and this is a noticeable difference between me and my friends, they can just stop when they want, I have intentions to stop but might end up staying out all night or being up til the early hours, often with other people, sometimes people id met that night as my friends might have gone home. Or if I was with my friends you can guarantee that even if they stayed up till the same time, I would have drunk a lot more than them as after a while I just want more more more alcohol. And I would say this is not true for them to the same degree.
@19801
Hey Corine, your questions are very good.
For first one, I am not completely myself when I go out with people who are drinking and I am not. I feel sad like I am sick and they are allowed to have fun and drink. I went 3-4 times in this 30 days, I did my best to dance and have fun but it is very strange for me to be sober on a party. And it’s not as fun as it is with alcohol.
Second, I thought about drinking in these 30 days mostly on this parties(one was with my favorite music, one was just going to a pub and live music, and few days I had visits from family and friends which included a lot of drinking from everybody except me)
Third, I could stop many times on 2-3 glasses and not feel like I want to continue, specially if drinking at home. Problematic ones are when I plan to go out, there I loose control (parties, drinking with friends before party etc…)
Sounds a bit confusing but I am confused as I just started to take it seriously.
I think the only real question here is… do you want to quit? Do you think your relationship with alcohol should die a death? Do you think alcohol is fun? Why? What’s the benefit? How does drinking add value to your life?
These are questions I had to seriously think about when I decided to quit drinking. It’s not for me to say whether you need to quit. But I can promise you, as long as you keep romanticising drinking, sobriety will be a lot harder.
Binge drinking is a form of alcoholism by definition. I stopped drinking when it got out of control on weekends as well.
I would work out 5-6 days a week, and have no problem with my career, but on weekends I would clear at least a case of beer and some extra cocktails on the side. The end result was a massive fight with my family where I said things I didn’t mean, and that was my low point.
The issue I think with binge drinking is just that, you lose control of yourself, and don’t think you have a problem because it’s only a weekend party type thing. It’s still a problem.
I have been sober for around a month or so now, and I haven’t been sober this long since studying for the bar exam. It’s been a great feeling, and honestly hasn’t been that difficult to navigate with all the non-alcoholic options they have now that didn’t exist 4 years ago.
I hope you stay sober. It’s a better and healthier life, and you will come to find that. I’m done for good. I won’t touch a drop ever again. It’s just not worth it.
Thanks for letting me share. Hope this helps, and good luck.
Hi @Beba i have to agree with others on here . You are a binge drinker with alcoholic behaviour s and alcoholism is a progressive disease . I spent six years in my twenty’s partying a lot and getting blackout drunk the only exceptions came when something really shit had gone down in which case I tried to control myself for a bit . I eventually after many years became alcohol dependent, it’s a slippery slope I suggest you avoid the parties and find a new way to have fun with sober people . I wish you well friend ps not having fun when your sober and around people who are drinking heavily is very fucking normal !!!who wants that kinda chaos ,get out while you still can
@19801 Corine, thank you for your comments, actually feels like you understand a lot so I will keep your messages as a good reminder, specially liked what you said that it is normal to be bored if everyone else is drunk on a party, and to avoid it. Thank you, hopefully I will understand problem with alcohol more and more, currently working on it
Hey @GG6688
Thank you for sharing your experience, means a lot to hear it. I can relate a lot to your story, also have to pass bar exam so hopefully will be one sober lawyer
I think we have similar days of being sober now as my last drinking was 29 September, so I hope for both of us to stay long sober and to live better and healtier life.
ps not having fun when your sober and around people who are drinking heavily is very fucking normal !!!who wants that kinda chaos ,get out while you still can
good luck with those exams . Stay close to us , take a look at our gratitude thread and start looking for a sober activity you enjoy
