Here’s me being completely honest and holding myself accountable. I’m on day 3. I went to a memorial type thing over the weekend and decided to drink and still not sure why. I regret that decision completely and its got me depressed. Its also got me really praying I find sober friends. I did Dry January and was successful, I didn’t think for a second I was cured or anything but drinking this last time felt like a compulsion. It was so weird. I caught a horrible cold after, probably from running around the cold with no jacket but here I am. Home sick and full of regret.
I am starting over again because honestly, sobriety just suits me. All I kept thinking was how unhealthy I felt drinking. Right now I feel like I’ve been poisoned and in ways I have and I’ve poisoned my life all over again. I’ll pick myself up and restart. It’s all I can do. If I punish myself it won’t get me anywhere so here I go, to walk the road to self-forgiveness and stay off the freeway of what I think was selfishness. I won’t doubt myself. I can and will do this. I could use a prayer or two if someone is willing. Thanks
Well I don’t have any prayers, but I will send my best wishes for you and know that I am pulling for your success.
We all have stumbled and given in, it’s what we do afterwards that counts.
When you feel better another pizza nights with the kids on those tougher nights.
What can you do different next time?
Big emotions can give me cravings, maybe that was the thing for you as well.
A memorial gives sad emotions and that’s difficult to deal with for all of us. But life gives loads of big emotions, good and bad and we have to learn how to deal with them in a healthier way then drinking ore using.
Try to learn from this relapse, what can you do different next time? There will be next time and you better be prepared for it.
What has helped me it to make a plan what to do when I have cravings. I know they occur when I deal with heavy emotions so when I have those you will find me here for example. Venting helps and get the edge of emotions and so cravings.
This is what has helped me so far too:2 years sober and what helped me to get there:. Maybe you read something you csn use for your situation as well (such as the H.A.L.T picture).
See you around!
I have my second family funeral of the New Year on Friday. I won’t lie, being sober will be hard but I am preparing in advance for that. That side of my family and I do not get along for lots of reasons - as with all families. My normal “get out” at these things is to get drunk so I don’t have to deal with the hurt that my own alcoholic father caused me. Instead, this time, when I see him dying from alcoholic liver failure I will be able to be thankful that I have made a different choice, and made it in time. This time, I will not make it worse with alcohol.
I’m sorry to hear this and I stand with you in courage. I think about those same things when it comes to this disease. I will make a different choice also. I wish you well.
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