I gave up 2 years of sobriety from alcohol to give responsible drinking a try again. I fell into the deep end and didnt take a day off after I started drinking again. I would start with 1 or 2 after work and felt good about my discipline. Within a month I was crushing 12 beers a night like I used to. Waking up feeling awful, cracking a cold one first thing to take the edge off. It is crazy how going 2 days without a drink felt so hard even after taking 2 years off. You cant see the edge of the forest when youâre in the thick of it, but the only way to get out is start walking. 3 weeks clean, holding strong. I have been very heavy marijuana smoker and today is day 2 completely clear headed. This is hard I wont lie, I cant imagine trying to detox from harder drugs. My heart is out everyone trying to get clean. Staying busy during waves of craving and depression, that can overwhelm. Reminding myself I am strong and can do this. I know in my heart that I am happiest and the best version of myself when I am free and clear. Thanks for reading, I hope the best for you on your journey.
Good on you, Joe. As we both know, some never make it back. Do like you did before and all will be fine (except for the trial on social drinks of course). My brain is broken forever, one or two⌠shit 4 doesnât even sound fun. If Iâm drinking, Iâm getting lit. Hugs brother and so glad youâre here!
Happens, but you stood back up and thatâs what counts.
Like @Smitty97 said, good for you for finding the strength to stop again. It took every ounce of my willpower to get to where I am today and Iâm not sure I could do it again if I had too. The positive is that youâre sober again and you know you can do it and you know how to do it.
Good for you man. Stay strong and I hope it gets easier each day for you; Glad youâre here in our community.
I was 5 years sober and thought I was âcuredâ.
We both know how that must have ended.
Not good 
But sober for more than 2 years now with hard work and TS.
So keep going! You can do it! You are doing great already! Keep coming here. Bad days will come too, but fight them and you will become stronger.
Come here if you need us, thereâs always someone to talk to!
Wow such a powerful and well written post.
Thought I was good to go after 110 days. Within the first day of my âtrial membershipâ I was drinking in he morning.
So crazy how that first day sober after just 3 days out was so hard!!!
Hopefully we did that so others wonât have to. Ill think of this post should I ever contemplate the one.
Well done for coming back.
I think Iâve probably got another drink in me but I definitely havenât got another recovery⌠I cannot be bothered, Iâm too content with life now
Very moving and true. Your toolbox still has all the tools in, u just have to use them. U can do it! At three weeks u have got through the physical side, just got to show ur mind who is boss!
Good youâre here Joe. And thanks for the very insightful share. Helps me in quieting the thoughts I could ever âdrink responsibly againâ. Looking at myself I never drank responsibly in the first place. Or do any other drugs responsibly for that matter. Smoking at least a gram of weed a day for 30 years included. Glad youâre here with us all Joe. Sober and clean life is so much better. Success friend.
I have done this same thing many times. But i was only strong enough to make it 6-8 months before I thought i had it all figured out. I now know i can not drink at all because i just go right back to what youre talking about. Stay strong my friend and thanks for sharing this great post
Welcome 
and thank you for sharing this, itâs great youâve decided to come back to sobriety.
I was sober for almost a decade when I decided to try and drink like a gentleman.
It didnt work out well for me, but I kept trying for eight years.
One of the biggest obstacles I had to overcome was letting shorter amounts of sober time seem meaningless in comparison to my long term sobriety. It was easy to justify starting over.
Today i have 362 days of sobriety. A few days away from that elusive 1 year anniversary. It means everything to me. I will never take recovery for granted again.
I relate 100% to how hard it is to come back.
Glad your back!
I did the same exact thing!!
2 years 2 months I threw away thinking I can control drinking again. Man was I wrong. Beer turned into liqour and before I knew it I was killing a bottle every 1-2 days drinking in am having horrible withdrawals.
Iâm getting back on the wagon and have 1.5 days sober.
Take it one day at a time !
Oh man! Hope your withdrawls go away fast! What are you feeling.