Gay and straight pornography addiction

[anon89207786]

Is it not allowed to be gay or is it not allowed to act on those feelings?

[Dolse71]

religion has got a lot to answer for in my opinion, let’s hope your just going through a phase and with time you will understand who you really are, whatever it is remember to be proud of yourself and no matter what sex it is fuck the rest of the world

[Matt]

@user920

i dont have problem with porn

Good!

@user920

i want to love a girl am concernwd about the possibility of being gay

There is a powerful, powerful stigma against gay/lesbian/bisexual/diverse sexualities today, in many places. I understand your fear.

@user920

please i want to be a straight men also i like girls and i soemtimes love ones and i am attracted to girls but the problem is that lately i used to cum on gay porn and i immagine fuckung a boy

If you’re bisexual, is that bad?

Maybe don’t worry about answering that question. It’s a heavy question. But - keep in mind: you are young. I know men who are more than 80 years old, asking the exact same question you are asking here.

You’re normal, brother. It’s ok. Be gentle with yourself, and as long as you’re healthy and safe, you’re ok.

[Tomek]

@user920

i want to destroy this possibilty

You cannot destroy your feelings and attraction. If you destroy them, you destroy yourself. You can get to know them, accept them, handle them, tame them, so you can live a life you are more satisfied with.

[Tomek]

@Dolse71

If you are ashamed of something then it’s obviously not for you is it.

It’s not how it works.

[Matt]

Religion is a complicated thing. If you are religious in the Abrahamic traditions (Jewish, Christian, Muslim), then porn is really not something you should be watching anyway. As you mentioned, the problem of the fantasy of porn, the escape, the un-realness of it - this is a concern for you. Cut the porn out of your life, and you will find that you feel and see yourself more clearly

There are many men in the thread I invited you to, who are doing that as well. Have a look through & you’ll find a lot of valuable insight.

[anon89207786]

@Matt

Christian,

As a Christian, I don’t really see a lot of hate against porn here and most people here are accepting of homesexuals, could just be my area though. I know there’s plenty extremists out there

[TMAC]

See a therapist and they can help you figure this stuff out, seriously. I’m not remotely qualified to help with clarifying your sexual identity, sorry!

[Cloyboy89]

This young man needs the real world no therapist can help life experiences is what’s needed

[Matt]

Good point, there’s a diversity & a general healthy acceptance here, which is what we need in recovery.

What I was alluding to above when I said,

@Matt

If you are religious in the Abrahamic traditions (Jewish, Christian, Muslim), then porn is really not something you should be watching anyway.

is more to the teachings of those faiths, all of which hold chastity of mind, eye, and body as a very important part of the identity of their followers. I can see how @user920 feels conflicted (about a combination of things), and as he said,

Gay and straight pornography addiction

my reiligion doesn allow me to have sex with bi i font have feelings to boys i just have sex attractions to some of them

so there is a kind of conflict going on within him.

Sexuality is a factor here too - but that’s a bigger question & probably not one he’ll resolve right now

However it’s not harmful to cut porn out of life, and in his case I would advise him to try cutting it out for a bit and see if it helps him see more clearly. If he can cut it out, good! He can start exploring his identity and interacting with people. If he can’t - he’ll learn about himself and begin working on his dependence on it - which will be healthy

[anon89207786]

So say I were to want to cut myself, I should just do it instead of seeking professional help?

[anon89207786]

@Matt

However it’s not harmful to cut porn out of life

I think in every case it would be the exact opposite of harmful. Porn brings a lot of problems with it that are hard to notice until it’s too late doesn’t it?

[TMAC]

So he should just go have sex with people until he figures it out, like you said earlier - right?

Let me ask you something. Your daughter turns 16 years old. She comes to you and says, “Dad I’m not sure if I’m straight or gay or somewhere in between”

Is your first response to that going to be, “Gee, I don’t know honey - maybe go out and fuck a bunch of different people and find out”?

[Matt]

Absolutely! It really distorts your intimacy and arousal schema, in your brain/your psyche - but you don’t notice it until you’re in a committed relationship; and by that point it can take years to adjust them. The adjusting is time well spent of course - but it could have been avoided if those years of youth weren’t wasted on porn.

[anon89207786]

That’s some scary stuff. I’m happy that I’m very careful with my porn usage since it’s probably one of the addictions most similar to mine, so probably pretty high risk of replacing

[Matt]

Yeah porn is a hyper-stimulant (like so many things that lead to addiction), so it’s playing with fire. I’m glad you aren’t finding you have a problem

[Dolse71]

I can honestly say I’ve not got a clue, the less I say the better. I’ll stick to what I know, actually that doesn’t leave much

[Cloyboy89]

Just feel he needs to truly find out instead living by open

[Matt]

Life is certainly a learning experience. So long as it can be done safely and in a healthy, respectful way for everyone involved, he will certainly learn a lot

[Cloyboy89]

Sorry if a come across blunt certainly not my topic I know much about through my life experiences determined what and who I am