I am a bit speechless!! And feeling like clenching my butt cheeks! 
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Sorry to hear you’re on the struggle bus. Sending positive healing vibes and lots of love your way.
Those products are awesome and the script is incredible. I almost peed myself laughing. 
You got plenty of talent girl. Wishing you the best on sales.
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And I am sorry life is so rough right now. I hope you can find some positive relief.
I do think your art /etsy items are pretty awesome, and like Lisa, made me pee a little!
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I love them. I once had a variegated one and looked like peppermint candy. I don’t see many where I live now because of the heat.
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Oh how cool! I had no idea what they were so I took a pic and did a google image search lol. The lady that owned the house before me had a serious green thumb. She had annuals blooming year round. It was so fun to see what popped up. Except for the poison ivy, that was not fun haha
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Well folks, as embarrassing as it is, my parents are going to pay for the doctor and my meds because I am a psychotic mess. I knew when I got in my meds that they were something I should never be off. You ladies were here with me through all of my relapses and getting sober. @Lisa07 I think I even shared your sobriety date with you before blowing it and ending up with the one I have now. It was around the same time as @crystalclear too. That’s right girl, you’ve been summoned lol. Miss you, but also know you’re doing ok from fb.
So, I’m making an appointment with a doc that doesn’t take insurance and also has therapy like EMDR like we all know I desperately need lol. The only concern I have is that he does ketamine and medical marijuana. I just want my regular meds and hope they don’t try to talk me into anything other than what has been trusty rusty for the past 5 years. Not to mention Matthew Perry dies from ketamine which says to me it’s addictive and not safe. I’m not trying to get addicted to shit ever again. I’ve tried the gummy pot stuff and I just can’t seem to bind with it. Like it helps with pain a tiny bit, but I HATE, like detest how it makes me feel. My ass is stupid enough without having some gummy shit make me more stoopid lol.
That’s just me and I don’t frown upon anyone who takes it if it helps them. I just don’t find it useful for me. So I buy gummy vitamins instead. They are yummy. 2 birds, snack and vitamins lol.
So, I hope that I am strong enough to say no and not get talked into anything scary. I’m a bit weak now compared to how I was before going off my Zoloft. I might start taking them again since I should have enough to get me by until I get an appointment there. I just worry that they’ll be all like holistic and shit and say no to Zoloft and I’ll have to start withdrawing all over again.
Anyway, side note. I found a very funny show “Drunk History” it’s hilarious. Laughing when I’m so depressed is such a gift. Before getting sober this last time, people drinking was triggering to me. Now, it’s not at all. I actually find it entertaining (unless it’s like concerning obviously). So, it’s not a show to watch if seeing drinking on TV triggers you. If it doesn’t, this shit be funnnn-ny!
I think I’ll watch funny stuff until I get myself back. I need to get myself out of this dark place. Sigh.
I’ll post more stuff that will be in my shop soon. Right now it’s a lot of filler fluff like the stuff I already posted. I’m excited to finish my art projects so I can post them 
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You sure did, but we’re both sober today and that’s all that matters.
So happy to hear your parents are helping out. That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Mental health and wellbeing are extremely important and I’m glad your parents agree. Stop the future tripping about the new doctor though - It does you no good. Once you explain what’s been working all these years, any good doctor will keep you on the same meds. No need to fix something that ain’t broken.
Wishing you the best! Keep us posted. 
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Hate to hear you’ve been struggling. 
I’ve been sick for a month but I’m still sober and grateful for every day. I imagine life without my mental health meds would be infinitely more difficult. I hope you get what you need. I agree with Lisa - stop the future tripping. You mentioned you need to get yourself out of a dark place. I know that never works for me. I have to have help - from friends, family and my higher power - to get out of dark places. My own strength is rarely enough. But leaning on others is successful 100% of the time. 
You don’t have to do it alone. Take care of yourself - make sure you are doing the basics and if you’re not, reach out for help! 
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@Lisa07 @crystalclear awww you guys 
I think I’m going to start taking the Zoloft again and be optimistic that the doc will continue these meds for me. Thank you xo and I’ll try my best to stop future tripping haha.
I need to find my motivation to do anything again or I will end up with a warrant for my arrest for something I didn’t even do to begin with 
I also need to get my store opened. I’m not sure why I’m procrastinating. I think I’m afraid to fail and afraid that I don’t have enough back up designs to make sure I’m post new stuff at least weekly. I get so side tracked. I need to start something and finish it before trying something else, but there’s so much I want to do and my brain is flying all over the place. So I have like 50 things started, then I struggle because my talent isn’t quite there yet. So when I come to a point where I’m working on a damn flower or leaf for an entire day, I take a break from it and move on to something else.
I have one piece of art that I’m working on that has a boobie in it. It’s fake, I drew it, but not sure if I can post it in this thread because of that. I could plop a flower on it. I don’t know. I can’t tell if it’s good or not. I end up liking it, then stare at it too long, start changing everything , messing it up, then walking away from it lol.
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My dear friends, I hope everyone is well!vim posting this here because I’m afraid to get roasted in the main threads. So, since it’s almost impossible to get work, I ended up doing retail. From exec to cashier just like that lol. I hate how much I love it. Binking the stuff is so cathartic and being around people is dreamy. I’ve been isolated pretty much since Covid, so this is fantastic for me.
here’s the part that will make me get roasted, I think anyway. So, I work for Total Wine in Destin. It’s a brand new store, like only opened a month ago. I started right after they opened. This particular store sells spirits and wine, but best of all — SNACKS. Anyway, we do a lot of tastings and learning about all the products. It’s very interesting because I don’t have a sophisticated palate at all. I’m repulsed by tequila and red wine. I tasted 11 different tequilas the other day (we spit it out, and I really spit and scrape it out lol, it’s all nasty for the most part) and when I smelled the first one I thought I would puke. I look at everyone’s notes on it and they’re all like I taste some crisp apple, some oak, and a slight smokiness. I’m all like, I taste what I imagine a bee sting on the tongue would feel like with hints of rubbing alcohol 
I don’t know how people would react to this, so I’m not plastering it anywhere I like it here, but I’m still not giving up on a real job I’ll still stay on part time here the people are so nice and I have so much fun
So, I would say emotionally I am doing much much better getting out and being with people is magical. Dare I say I kinda feel, what’s that word? Oh yeah, happy! I think I’m happy!
Oh, and 5 years on may 28th
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Happy 5 years Girlie and yeah, I imagine you will get roasted. It’s always good to hear from you and especially that you are feeling lighter and brighter…happier….than previous. That really made my day!!! 
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Awesome sauce! Congratulations on 5+ years!
Like Sassy said, it’s always good to hear from you. Glad you found some work that you enjoy. Honestly, I never enjoyed the taste of any alcohol, but tequila was the yuckiest. 
It was all about the buzz for this alcoholic.
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Girl, truth! I joke around at work and say I’m gonna take one for the team, but it really is taking one for the team because it’s all nasty. I have zero attraction or urge to drink. Thank you naltrexone. That stuff is amazing. I guess I have to give myself some credit but there’s no way I could’ve done this job if I wasn’t on it so yeah, I’m grateful
I guess I’m also Bill Clinton “I didn’t inhale!”
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Thank you!
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Thank you. I always appreciate this place and you guys so much. I wish I would make some more time to come here. Maybe now that there is some small sense of relief I’ll relax a little better and not feel guilty for taking time for myself.
Oh and I have Avocados, watermelon, lavender, and with dill or cilantro, I forgot which one. I got some flowers too. We’ll see if any of it grows up haha
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Definitely miss you when you aren’t around, but I get it, life is busy. Glad you are doing well!!!
So Katie or Gretchen? Or did they just concoct all this for a storyline?
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Congrats on your milestone and the new job! Gosh, if you can say you’re enjoying or having fun at work then you’ve hit a jackpot. As long as you’re on the straight and narrow with your sobriety in a place like that, it’s no one else’s business to comment really.
I’m working retail too but it’s a regular grocery store. After leaving social field work, binking stuff was a brainless bliss. It still is, except when it’s super busy. I hate mankind on such shifts I try to smile but it probably looks like a psychotic grin 
Good that you’re out and about. We’re wired for connection. All the best to you.
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Really beautiful.
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I’m so friendly and fun with the customers that I already have certain customers that will wait ← omg I started that months ago. No idea what I was going to say haha
Mut mä kaipaan sua, boo! 
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