Excellent!
2 Likes
This week was a struggle for me but one of my friends I made in my recovery group called me and we had a good talk. I am about to go out and have breakfast with him. Iām starting to realize that what I struggle with, in my mind, is the idea that I need to be everything, be on top of everything, be leading everything, and I take on so much and overwhelm myself - and that sets the stage perfectly for escape.
The other day in group one of the participants shared: Itās ok to turn to someone and say, I was weak. I feel weak. I forgot this appointment or overlooked this task or _____ because I was overwhelmed. Or maybe, I donāt feel courageous or capable enough to be what I imagine I want to be.
Weakness is not a failure. Incompleteness is not a failure. It is a beginning. Itās the starting point to my next period of growth 
2 Likes
Matt, I see growth in your words mate. Acceptance of being where you are supposed to be.
We can only be what we are comfortable being. If we try to do too much too soon we can cause resentment.
Resentment and expectations are not just limited to other peopleās interaction with us but also our own personal expectations of ourselves.
If we try to be all to everything and everyone, we are setting ourselves up for failure.
Keep going buddy.
2 Likes
Thx Geoff I appreciate it. I learn a lot from what you and other participants share here, and I appreciate how humble and walking-alongside everyone is. Iām looking forward to the next steps
1 Like
Got no motivation today. I did wake up with a migraine though and just feel really cba with anything. Frustrating. 15 days sober though. Something to be thankful for.
4 Likes
You got it Jay. 15 days - good for you! Someone on one of the threads here shared that 15-20 days was a rough time because of headaches, migraines. She says looking back, she believes it was the junk working its way out of her system. Drink water, rest, get some sunshine and fresh air if you can.
Care for your body and your body will care for you. Youāre a good person, worthy, and you can do this. Take care today!
4 Likes
Donāt worry about it. I think most of us had days, weeks like that. Still do really. At the moment Iām in a bit of a motivational period. But Iāve upped my training regime a little so that might have something to do with it.
But yeah, donāt fight it, donāt resent the fact that you maybe arenāt doing what you think you should be doing.
Accept that you are precisely where you are supposed to be and look after yourself.
1 Like
@Matt
I know that feeling. For me I realize that it was grounded in always having to prove myself- prove Iām worthy, prove that Iām not what I fear people think I am. We are ok exactly as we are. We have to be kind to ourselves just as we are kind to others. If we can keep a steady pace and make time for rejuvenation than we will be our best selves. This is a long game after all. 
2 Likes
This is amazing!!! 
I almost cut again over the past week. Iwasthisclose to drinking but i didnāt. I tried to eat on Thursday and I threw up my dinner so it looks like my eating disorder is making a comeback which is fun.
Flashbacks are getting worse by the day but i know how to cope and ground myself and such so they are more frequent but i can deal without having to drink. No one told me that when you self medicate and then stop that you still have all this bullshit to deal with.