It’s been 365 days since my last drink. This being leap year I have 15 more hours before I reach one year of sobriety. Such an array of feelings. I wish I had meetings to attend and that I could have received my chip at the birthday speaker meeting. The quarantine is MESSING with my head. One good note is that every day this past two weeks I’ve wanted to drink and haven’t given in to the cravings. And they’ve been worse than normal. Another good thing is the friend I thought I drove away in a moment of weakness is talking to me again and it has resolved the issues of abandonment I’ve been feeling. She said she won’t forgive me but I’m just happy to have her talking again. I’ve been so alone. So lonely these last two weeks. I can’t see myself doing two more. I’ve decided not to leave the house unless I absolutely have to because I have a two year old and I’m terrified of getting her sick by taking her outside. She asks me every day to go to the park. It makes me sad that I can’t take her. I hope this is all over soon because I really want to celebrate my milestone with a trip somewhere and that’s just not an option right now. I hate this feeling of helplessness and powerlessness. I don’t even know what I’m going to do tomorrow to make it feel special, since I’m stuck at home and have nothing here. I don’t have stuff to take a nice bath, or chocolates, or anything like that and I’m super broke until Friday. Trying to hang in there mentally. I needed to share what’s going on in my life so thanks for listening.
remember that step 1
read the big book
no reservations to use
we are all with ya
and thats quite a fancy chip too
you got this
happy early birthday
read read read
and deffinetly communicate with us all
the whole bug thing will pass
just keep healthy and pationt
15 hrs will fly in a heartbeat. So congratulations in advance. And like @KnownAnswer says. Keep sharing. We all can relate and support one another. No one is alone. No doubt in my mind 2020 is going to be your year! This virus crap is messing with us all! Had this virus happened back in 2016 or earlier I dont believe I’d be here now. You got this and that chip is awesome. Put it somewhere you’ll see it every day. You’ll have a 2nd before you know it
You have so much to be proud of!!! A year is incredible and I know for me that milestone did make me think about drinking…I didn’t like that at all. I made it a point to remember that drinking made me feel horrible physically and mentally and really made me dislike myself. I don’t want to treat myself like that ever again.
I hope you are rightfully proud of all you have accomplished and will continue to accomplish. You don’t need chocolate or bubbles to celebrate yourself. A hug and a walk in beautiful nature is a good reward these days.
Also, you may find some solace in online meetings. Here is a link with lots of info that @aircircle put together, hopefully it will help…
I’ve witnessed you trudging, Mae. Well done on your year! Sorry that it dropped during such a crazy time. Proud to see you celebrating your accomplishment.
I know it’s rough not having face to face meetings. I’m in the SAA fellowship and there isn’t a meeting within 2 hours of my location. I do a lot of recovery work over the phone. It certainly isn’t the same but it’s the only tool I’ve got to be in touch with those who also struggle with my addiction. It’s better than going without meetings.
Search “recovery resources” in here and you’ll find access to phone and online meetings. I even found my sponsor through that route.
Edit: sassy beat me to it.
Your one year is right when it needs to be. When you get to say i made it through one year at such a difficult time…Bravo!
Huge Congrats! One year is absolutely amazing and you should be very proud of yourself.
Have faith that you’ll have a chance to celebrate soon. In the meantime, maybe try online meetings. I’ve been using intherooms.com. it’s not the same but it’s actually helping me.
Congrats! Good for you! Such an achievement - a year of one day at a time - that is something to be proud of Celebrate with cookies! (or insert your fave sober snack )