RIP Daniel.
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Love it!!!
Love, love, love Chris Stapleton!
This one has a significance for me today and is one of my all time favourite songs.
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I didnāt know who wrote it until tonight. Makes so much senseā¦
Never seen the movie. Donāt even think I have heard the gaga song all the way through.
You want to be old after forty two years
Keep dropping the hammer and grinding the gears
So donāt let 'em take who you are boy, and donāt try to be who you aināt
And donāt let me catch you in Kendale with a bucket of wealthy manās paint
One of the moments from Saturday that still flashes in front of me is this song. My padre, who I havenāt communicated with in over two years, was a grease monkey for the bulk of my life until he became too expensive for the shop. For a couple few years it was food stamps and the kindness of strangers that got the mortgage paid. I never knew how close to losing it all we were ā a place I have been too close to count in my life. Nothing in that life held any allure for me. I didnāt know where I was going, as long as it wasnāt anywhere near there. In that journey to get away from them, I lost my self, if there ever was a self. Hammer down and burn up hard and bright, I was convinced that was my destiny. After all those years, being who I thought everyone else wanted me to be, i sit in this office, behind this big desk, and am still just carrying a bucket of wealthy manās paint and no clue who I am or what I want in life, other than not to go back to the hell I came from.
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Over a year ago, a guy I know in my AA community posed a question that has really stayed with me. If God were to ask you āDid you enjoy the gifts I gave you?ā What would you say to that? Did things get in the way?
I know that anything I put above my sobriety, I have to be willing to lose, including my sobriety. Lately it seems that I need to look at how that applies to the rest of my life. What am I willing to loseā¦ And am I willing to make the hard choices before those things are gone. Am I on the road to the world I want to live in? Living the live I chose or the life that chose me?
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Hey everyone ā just passing this on to everyone here.
Thereās A Reward: A Celebration of the Life & Music of Neal Casal on Wednesday, September 25 will be livecast by Relix.
https://relix.com/live/livestream-20190925-theres-a-reward-neal-casal/
Yes I get that it requires an email. Sorry. Use a fake one. HP willing, Goat should be there. There will be a crazy lineup of people to celebrate the life of an amazing person (and musician) that touched so many people around him, yet couldnt see that light he brought to others in his darkness. He was such a genuine caring person and always was interested in you and what you were up to. That kindness will always be remembered.
Just as many dont know that I am an alcoholic Goat, I donāt know what others are feeling or thinking. I need to remember that when I am inconvienced by trivial things and learn to give a smile instead of scowl to others at those times. I know how many times my day has been changed by the acknowledgement of a stranger.
And to those of you that are hurting, please get help. People care. Goats care. It may not be who you want to care, but I promise that people care about you and will love you until you can love yourself.
Two years ago tonight I started my last bender that found me in places and situations I never thought I would be in. The pain and mental issues were just too much for me to deal with so I did what a Goat did best, drink handles and handles of vodka until I stood on that edge of life and death and had a BAC north of a . 4 and more booze.
For whatever reason, my HP saw fit for me to stay on this earth and be given another chance at life. I donāt know why, I just know that I got that chance and I can tell you that people I donāt know have carried me when I couldnāt carry myself, when I didnāt think there could be a tomorrow, when I thought a tall tree and a short rope was a good solution. Things can change and get better, but you have to take that first step of asking for help.
Much love Goat.
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
Skip to about two minsā¦ To NFA with a Harp! And a busted Ripple. Lol
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Thank you for this. Iāll be watching on Wednesday - and rememberingā¦
And what is that truth, the truth of art, that freeing blade, that slaking drink in the desert of the world? Itās this: You are not alone. I am not I; you are not you. We are we. Art bridges the lonely islands. Itās the string that hums from my tin can, over here looking out of my little window, to you over there, looking out of yours. All the worldās power over us lies in its ability to persuade us that we are powerless to understand each other, to feel and see and love each other, and that therefore it is pointless for us to try. Art knows betterā¦
- Michael Chabon, The Paris Review
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Thank you Mr. Hunter for countless memories and taking me places I have never been.
Fare thee well.
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I was two months old when Scarlet Begonias was played for the first time. Robert Hunter - thank you for reminding me to look for the light in the strangest places. Rest in peace, sweet man
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odaat, yāall
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And a very happy 2 years to you, dearest Goat! 
I am very grateful for ewe.
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Thanks squirrel. Still a couple weeks until I count any sobrietyā¦ My first meeting. For me, without the rooms, I may not have drank again, but I would not know what sobriety is.
It is interestingā¦ My HP took a date that should have been more important to me than it was and gave me plenty of reason to never forget that date and the fact that I am a garden variety drunk. At this point two years ago, I was pretty much through my second handle in two days, plus the trips to the bar, and on to a liter of rum or something, plus all the alcoholic seltzer I had gone through. My social media messages had people concerned and I was still going strong trying to kill that pain inside of me. And the worst was still to come.
Which reminds me I need to thank a few people I ran from after everything for being there for me.
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How was the memorial, Goat?
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