I don’t think I’ll ever read that chapter again. It made me entirely too angry. Luckily, not angry enough to wanna drink.
Butt is in seat…hopefully my head will follow soon. And no more barstools for me!!
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I probably am overthinking it way too much. I tend to do that with most things in life…
Yoga/meditation is something I’d really like to add to my routine. But I’m trying to take things slow and not put too much on myself at once. The program, work, and husband takes up most of my day. I feel like I’m always out of time. Very soon I’m going to plan my days out from hour to hour to get myself into a hopefully sustainable routine.
There are some on YouTube, search for Annie Grace. She is the author of “This Naked Mind” which is a book about quitting alcohol (also recommended). She also does a vlog on youtube of the same title.
For pod casts, you can download a pod cast player from the app store. The one I use is called “pod cast player”. I listen to “High Sobriety” (avg. 40 min), “Recovery Elevator” (avg. 60 min), and “Real Sobriety” (avg. 5 min). These pod casts have lots of stories that provide insights and inspiration. I listen when I’m commuting to/from work.
Prayer has been a developing thing for me. Below is a link to a thread I started about my process with prayer. I have come to learn, as Kierikegaard says, prayer is not about influencing “God”, but about changing the person who prays. Now I do it because it makes me feel better and more calm and accepting of situations that are not within my control.
Also, I started by writing my prayers down in my journal. And I don’t pray for material things for myself or specific events for myself or others. I usually pray for wisdom, strength, courage, peace, serenity, love, etc for myself or others. My approach to it has developed over time. I do what I am comfortable with and feels true to myself and that is always shifting. Well done for being open and willing 
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I’m writing all this down into a note on my phone. Thank you so much!
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But it is only 1 chapter…and it isn’t the important chapter. Read How it Works over and over. THAT is the program. I didn’t like To the Agnostics but I got over it. The program is still an excellent program.
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This is exactly what I’m doing. I’m coming up on 6 months and I still have no sponsor. I’m just taking things slow. I don’t think working the steps should be a sprint. But that is for ME. Another girl in my meeting had finished all her steps in 4 months. That is what works for her. The important thing is to work everyday. Taking it slow doesn’t mean taking days off.
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I just wanted to say, there are many other programs that work for people other than AA. Though AA may be the most proven to work its slowly losing to the changing times in my opinion. I hope you find peice. I do believe a 12 step is the way to that peice, working on yourself and your past guilts and habits is key!!! Recover is learning to be ok with who you are and making the next right choice!!!
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Another thing we have in common. Honestly, I am taking a “fake it until you make” attitude. I just say the prayers, even the ones that say “dear God”. It isn’t about God, it’s about reminding me what I need to do and think about each day. Some of my prayers are more like motivational phrases but some are proper formal prayers. I have mostly looked for prayers that apply to the steps. The 3rd step prayer is VERY God oriented but I just say it everyday because it is still about what I need to do each day to get through. I figure if there is a God (I am closer to agnostic) he doesn’t give a crap if I have 100% believe and live with faith. He would only care that I live my life good and kind. So I pray.
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Do you like the outdoors? There’s nothing more spiritual than being in your favorite quiet spot and just reflecting. I like mountains or lakes the best. But any park will do. That can be your version of “prayer”. Prayer doesn’t have to be about God. It can be reflecting on your day and clearing your mind.
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Yes.
I know for me I like to have a set script that I repeat to myself everyday, so for me it is a formal prayer. Some are about God, some are not. But absolutely, you can just sit there and talk to the wind and it will have the same effect!!
Great suggestion @Englishd
I agree that the chapter to the agnostic is an attempt to convince people that they will have a spiritual experience if they work the program the right way. Yes, the book One Tent is a good resource. The universe as your higher power makes a lot of sense to me.
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You know what? If writing your thoughts (prayers) is working for you keep doing it. It’s working.
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Oh, no. I meant that I’ll never read that particular chapter again. I’ll still continue reading the Big Book.
What helps me is that when I read the big book, I underline/highlight the things that I connect with and that resonate with me, and just leave the stuff that I don’t relate to off to one side. I don’t get annoyed or frustrated with parts that I don’t relate to, I just let them go and focus on the things I do relate to. Interestingly, as time passes, I can find space for the things the weren’t so much for me. So I just keep an open mind and stay focused on the similarities, rather than the differences. It sounds like you are doing great - well done!
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I love the outdoors. I moved to a city just north of where I grew up. This place is literally the largest city by land mass in the US aside from Alaska. I haven’t quite found my perfect beautiful place to meditate here yet. I had one in my hometown, but that is over an hour and a half away. I have a lot of things I need to do. Finding a peaceful place is one of them. Hopefully, I won’t have to search and I’ll just find myself there one day.
I highlight things as well. So far I’ve only gotten to page 67 (as my sponsor asked me to do), and I’ve highlighted things about what happens when an addict thinks they can drink again. Logically, I KNOW that I can’t do that. But my alcoholic brain says, “hey…just give it some time and you can try it again.” Fortunately, as of the past couple days, I haven’t even remotely felt the desire to drink. In fact, im happy that I don’t drink at all. My heart and life has already changed in such a positive way- I don’t want to lose it. There’s always that chance though… so continuing with the program is paramount to my continuous sobriety.
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Honestly, I’ve never even heard of any other program other than AA. Regardless, I’m going to do what most of you have said and my husband has as well, “take the good and leave the bad.” I just need to get over my hatred for religion.
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