Asking for some good wishes / vibes for an evening out with colleagues after work tomorrow. I don’t want this to degenerate into a “don’t test your sobriety debate”, I am almost 15 months sober, and this is a 3.30 - 6.30 pm dinner/drinks type thing, I will certainly head home if it looks like it is going later / to another place, I have my genuine excuse that I have a busy day taking kids to extra-curriculars the next day. I am 100% sure I will not drink (well, I’m an alcoholic so there are no guarantees, but 99.99%). But I am concerned about feeling awkward or weird when a jug of beer is ordered to share and I have to be the only one to say “sorry, a tea please” (it is on the work’s tab so I won’t be ordering for myself) or people maybe asking why I don’t drink, or how long I haven’t been drinking, etc etc,. I would just be happier feeling like some of you lovely people are in my pocket.
Making up excuses and playing some scenarios in your head in advance always helps. You can boost up your mood with some upbeat music or check the inspiration thread beforehand. Reach out if you’ll face some difficulties, we are always here.
You can do this Flo! When I have events like this I think about their and my morning after. Mine: early out of bed drinking coffee and remembering the night out and how good it was. Filled with energy to start the day.
And most of theirs: tired, groggy, etc.
And we all know how bad the morning will be for ourselves if we do drink 
Put us in your “pocket” and I sure hope you have a great night out!
Keep us posted!
I hope you have a good afternoon out without feeling the need to make up excuses. Enjoy the dinner 
Think in a of list of things you will not be able to do in case of drinking: having a good breakfast, being awake y good mood…You can’t throw this to the rubbish just for few drinks that do bring nothing (and nothing is nothing) positive. Best wishes and enjoy!
Enjoy yourself wisely Flo. I know you will wake up without a drop of alcohol in your system. Have fun 
I’m a little late seeing this but we will be there with you!
There’s no need to feel bad about not drinking, even if you’re the only one. Everyone else will do what they want regardless and you will be going home sober and happy (and hangover free the next morning) 
One tip I might add about this 
(even though I’m not qualified to give anyone advice) is that there’s no reason to preface your order with a “sorry”.
Don’t be sorry!! You are kicking your addiction in the ass and you have 15 amazing sober months under your belt. If anyone judges you, f**k them.
Have fun and let us know how it goes!
Thanks guys. My husband has shown no interest in who is going, or the place or anything, but just said “you won’t drink will you?” five times, and to come home early twice. Which is maybe understandable, but left me feeling deflated somehow. Anyway, will update soon.
HI Fleur, it is strange being the sober one, but the next morning is the best feeling ever, always. I remember when I used to go out getting hammered and foolish, I would be envious of people who did not drink and enjoyed themselves. Enjoy and I have every faith in you. Look forward to hearing about it…
When you are good and damn ready to come home sober, that will build trust, I hope.
Rather than tell you “You got this”, I’ll say you got us.
How was it, @Misokatsu? I like that the event ended at 6:30. I hope you did have some fun while you were there.
It was a very low key evening, people had no more than three or so beers. Everyone ordered their own drinks via tablet, so it wasn’t obvious that I only had lemonade. But I would be lying if I said that I hadn’t felt like I really wished I could drink something that gave me a little buzz like everyone else. And if I had drunk a little then, I would be chugging hard lemonade in the train right now, I know it. Tonight really made me realise how my alcoholism is just lying in wait under the surface, and how fragile sobriety is. Honestly, it scared me. Thank u for being here to share this with. If I told my husband this he would freak and never let me out of the house again. But I am heading home, safe and sober💜.
Great you mate through the evening sober. That’s a win. Maybe, give yourself some time that you can trust in your sobriety. You are not fragile. Trust in you. You are strong!
In AA and in this community is where I can let it all hang out, I was in therapy for a time and did the same there.
Alcoholism is differently understood by every person it touches, including us. For some who are impacted by our alcoholism, there may be fear, anger, befuddlement, resentment, and self doubt that are aroused when we speak of it or act alcoholically. Even in here, your words as an alcoholic are heard and interpreted with unique ears. But in here, you know that we are able to relate to your story and feelings and that we will not condemn you for your thoughts or feelings, even for your actions.
The way I’ve come to experience this is that my alcoholism is a lot like a scared helpless kid who lashes out whenever something frightens him more. The best way for me to deal with him is to say “I see you, I acknowledge your presence”.
When the feeling arises in me that I wish I could get a little buzz, I’m best served by just letting that thought sit until it tires and fades. I cut myself slack and try not to judge myself harshly - wanting to escape is a well learned reaction that was reinforced by years of repetition.
I’m delighted that you used your tools to get through the event and made it home whole! You are so much stronger than you know - you have the power of the Divine that you’re tapping into in ways you never knew you could.
A triumph for you, amiga! Even if it doesn’t exactly feel that way. You stayed sober and every time you are tested in this way, I believe you will come out stronger. Well done.
Fleur…I read this after the fact. A few things come to mind. First - way to go! Second - when the company is paying people often drink too much. Glad that wasn’t the case. Third - I have found people really don’t care if I drink or what I drink. Fourth - how often we worry needlessly. I’m the champion of that. Fifth - way to go. Again. Because you deserve to hear it again. 
#winning, Fleur! Well done and glad you got home safe and sound!
It should be an Olympic event! I’d give you a run for your money!
Many would. But I’m working on it! Along with a lot of other things. Onward!
I’m here in your pocket cheering you on.
And I’m needing you in my pocket as I have a similar event later today. I’m also confident in my decision and just hope to feel the pride.