Different people abuse drugs and alcohol for myriad of reasons. Some of those reasons seem trivial and others are beyond sad.
Your focus is on your own sobriety for whatever reasons are personal to you.
There is a lot that happens to other people in the world far beyond the realm of our own control…
I think it’s not so uncommon an experience, and it’s a real watershed moment.
Now that you mention it, I was still drinking when I found this forum. I lurked for a couple of days without an account reading people’s stories. In them, I read about what I had gone through. Things I had forgotten about. And what’s more, I saw very clearly where I was going.
It was like a curtain being pulled back and it changed me forever. I realized that up until that moment, I had subconsciously given up and was planning for defeat. Much of what I read hadn’t happened yet, but I was making choices assuming they would happen. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy just waiting, if I did nothing.
There was hope though. They had all recovered and were happy now. All I had to do was anything different.
So I started trying to accept what is past is past and try to shape a different future, try to make something new and positive from it, by just changing something today.
We do recover. We are sober today, we are grateful, and that’s a solid start. 
I have felt that exact way before. I’ve really got it good compared to some others, what I have I got to be depressed about? Why do I feel the need to drink so much? It’s harmful to think of not being somehow deserving of suffering. Your feeling and your experience is your own and can’t be compared to other people. We are all at different places in our journey. 
We are all different in that we are to a high degree, the sum of our experiences. Different experiences produce different views, beliefs, mindset, interests
However, we find commonalities in our experiences as well. It is in these experiences we find empathy, understanding, and support.
Think of it this way: Combat vets understand other combat vets, even if their personal experiences were in different wars, different fronts, against different foes…the essence of combat is the same.
Here, there are addicts who are or were struggling to get free from something that enslaved them. Could be booze, one or more drugs, self-harm, food, sex, porn, gambling. The chain may be of a different metal, but the essence of the experience of addiction is the same. We are here seeking understanding, from those also seeking understanding. We are here seeking and giving support.
Because we all seek the same things: Freedom and Peace.
@Ktorres thank you for sharing. You have put words to what many of us here have experienced and lived through. I actually find solace in knowing that despite what trauma my mind and body have endured, I am not alone. My feelings have been felt by others and that gives me hope that if they can turn their lives around after experiencing such pain that I can too. My experience was mine but my sober journey is shared here and that gives me the strength to continue to stay sober.
Much love
Ree 
I only slept for 3 hours my mind was racing with thoughts. But I think I finally understand and accept that I do have a problem. And I don’t think I ever want to ever drink again or be around any of those so called “friends” my eyes are wide open now. I hugged my fiancé so tight this morning and apologized for everything and reminded him how deeply in love I am with him. I wrote down every bad thing that’s ever happened to me under the influence so I can always read over it to remember. The whole idea of “fun night” was never true.
Honestly I only had 3 hours of sleep. But I’m okay just catch myself thinking of this one certain person on here. I don’t know why I’m so worried for someone I don’t even know. All I know is today my views are certainly different. I feel so much more confident on my journey to sobriety.
My heart goes to you. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I hope you are happy and in a better place. I send peace and so much love. May your heart feel a little warmth from my heart. And yes! I agree maybe some positive threads for awhile until I feel ready. I always want to help others even when I’m myself an weak.
Sassy has a good list here - maybe you have some in common 
(scroll down a bit for the list)
Sending hugs your way. You absolutely shouldn’t tell yourself that you don’t deserve to feel how you do because someone else “had it worse” I used to do that so much. And it was really just me gaslighting myself and not giving myself any empathy for how I was feeling. It wasn’t healthy. You are worth love and empathy. Especially your love
I am so sorry you had to go through all of that 
I am so happy that you made it through and that you are here with us. You are so important! Don’t ever forget that!
Thank you! I see a lot of me in her. I’ve copied that list and saved it to my phone.
And so are you!! Thank you
Glad my list helps!! It sure has helped me a lot over the years. Remembering the reality of my drinking vs the fantasy of it relaxing me or making life ‘fun’. Hope you are having a good day.
Actually had to use your list this morning. Just woke up on the wrong side I guess everything is upsetting me, I just have no patience on the road. And I most definitely know 8am is too early for a drink just trying to hold myself back from going out for one during lunch. But I feel better right now, think I’ll continue to go over that list every hour. 
you’re a blessing!
Sometimes we have to take life one minute at a time and that is okay. It helps me, always, to remember why I started on this path. Reach out if you need to, someone is always around.
This was my experience, after reading around, I had similar feelings as you @Ktorres , I took a break for a week or so and really processed those feelings before coming back. We all deserve to recover no matter the severity of our condition.
And our instincts are always trying to allow us to go back to using or drinking, no matter how toxic it has become in our lives.
We get better together through our shared experiences. Stay strong and let the stories here strengthen your resolve for sobriety.
I made it!!! I was worried I was going to let this day get to me but no. Like you said “one minute at a time” just focused on work. Didn’t even think of stopping for a drink. 
Well done, you!!! That’s great.
Good for you Katy. 
Great work!
Well done!! Building those sober muscles!! 