It doesn’t matter how long I managed to be nicotine free in the past.
That’s why it’s called the past.
We can’t change the past but we sure as shit can change the future. I am disgusted how cunning, baffling and powerful even nicotine can be.
Taking Wellbutrin to get over the bump, so here I go day 1.
Letting go of my past quits has been hard for me. Like, if I could make it 18 months and then relapse, what does a week, a month, a year etc mean? But we start from where we are, which is a different place from where we started before. Hopefully with some lessons from the past learned!
Also I have been surprised in these recent quits how different each one has been. Again just goes to show we can only start from where we are.
Let’s do it 
So tomorrow I’m finally doing it. Last week was a fail but I’ve been cutting back and will be starting with patches tomorrow and waking up as a non smoker.
Years ago I used champix to help and it worked amazing, however it has now been recalled and won’t be available again for quite some time to come. My Dr did give me Zyban to use about 6 weeks ago and within a week I was getting a racing and skipping heart beat. I honestly thought I was going to have a heart attack and the kids were tempted to call for an ambulance, it was really scary 
So all signs are pointing to me having to bite the bullet and just do it. Hopefully the patches can just take the edge off the cravings so I’m less unbearable to live with.
I find stress with my kids the toughest battle in the first week of quitting but I did it with alcohol so I can do this also right? Right! I can do this! @Cherry_Kisses we can both do this
@Becsta YAY, I’m so excited for you. I can hear the determination in your voice!
Yup stress can be a bugger. I think the big trick is to deal with it head on. I had an issue this last week and I was literally craving almost constantly for 5 days. I know… Insane…
After the person and I sat down and cleared the air, I felt so much better. Sadly I had gone and bought a box of 10 about 3 hours before that. Grrrrrrr.
It actually just added to my stress 
I kept wondering afterwards, why I kept thinking that it would help or make me feel better. I honestly don’t think it was a nicotine craving, it was a psychological craving to feel calm and centered. It was a bit of f*ck this, I can’t take this feeling any longer. I’ve been mostly smoke free since the beginning of December 2021, bar a few days, so hopefully it won’t be too bad. The Wellbutrin is a heaven sent, but man alive this stopping and starting nonsense is really starting to irritate the crap out of me.
Time to get serious about my tool box again, yoga, meditation, box breathing etc. Realistically life’s always going to have ups and downs. Only going to gym once this week, probably didn’t help either.
Anyway I am here for you. I’m in Cape Town, so a good couple of hours behind you in Oz, but feel free to PM me anytime. I check in here a LOT lol.Good luck for tomorrow and Happy Valentine’s Day!
Oh geez, I agree 100%. Its just like an automatic fallback when you feel stressed isn’t it! Definitely psychological not physical. I find with smoking, after the detox (3-5days) ita pretty much just all psychological - head fuckery I call it 
That’s great things got sorted by talking it out. Progress not perfection hey, but you’re doing absolutely amazing and I believe in you that you can totally do this 
I whacked a patch on this morning as soon as I woke up and I’m feeling so super pumped and determined. Also using these today
Will definetely be drawing on my toolbox from quitting drinking to utilise and push through with this.
I am craving for a cigarette right know. But I will not give in. It’s just a fantasy , a fantasy about how nice a cigarette will taste, but it will not. Its a nasty taste and I will feel shitty afterwards. I will a nicotine gum instead.
Great job on 1 week!!!
I was about to jump on here to say the same thing. Its 5pm and my first day without a cigarette. I don’t even want the nicotine just the habit I’m craving. Craving the habit so bad!!! But it will pass and I will be stronger for pushing past it. Deep breaths, we’ve got this!
Yep it tastes terrible… Good job on your first week. You are supposedly over the worse. Keep on keeping on!!
I hear you. Put my “last” one out at 10am, had some anxiety, irritation, around dinner time cooking etc… Hubby said quitting in the middle of the day not always do-able, start afresh tomorrow, so had maybe 3 more and put last one out at 10pm.
Yes start tomorrow fresh and committed, the urges pass, they really do!
Does your husband smoke also?
Its 6.30pm here now and I feel bloated and blergh from all the snacking I’ve done today even though it’s been quite healthy. I also drank sooooo much water! I’m Iooking forward to going for a run tomorrow morning…
Proud I can say that today I did not pick up a cigarette and tomorrow I don’t plan to either 
Good job sweetie.
No thank God he only has a cigarette when he takes a drink which is seldomly.
My son does smoke, although he’s been saying he wants to stop. We’ll see. It’s definitely harder I think living with a smoker but determination will follow through.
Good job. I won’t pick up today and not tomorrow either .
Yeehaaaaaa!
Enjoy your run. As you probably know you will feel AMAZING afterwards xox
@Cherry_Kisses You both got this Ladies! Smoking is Stupid. Quitting is Smart. We do it together. Hugs and love and all success.
Thanks Menno! Appreciate the positivity 
@Becsta @Cherry_Kisses Thansk for the support. Make sure you have a good ‘‘quite smoking kit’’.
The gum is helping me a lot when I crave for a cigarette. We can do this ladies! Wish you all the best.
Stay strong 
How are we all going?
Day 2 here and woke up quite irritated but breathed through it and told the tempting thoughts to fk off as I’m a non smoker now and its wasting its breath talking to me I used to do that when I first quit drinking and seems to work quite well lol.
Just back from a run, feels amazing to no longer stink of cigarettes and be ruled by them. Don’t want to jinx it but I’m feeling better than expected, just keep trying to turn all the negative thoughts into positive ones.
Have a strong day everyone! Today I’m a non smoker and will not pick up a cigarette
Hey sweetie. “mindfuckery” never heard of that one but it describes it perfectly.
Day 2 here. Slept very well. Isn’t it amazing how much better you sleep when you aren’t drinking.
Hubby and I went weight training early this morning and after returning home there was 1 quick fleeting crave for nicotine . It actually took me by surprise. Not chemical, not psychological, but “habitual” I reckon. Had my protein shake and my tea and I was fine.
After the third day all nicotine should be out of my body and then it will be a lot easier.
Be on guard folks, I was nicotine free for 12 years. I thought I was well and truly done. Nicotine in my opinion really one of the most addictive substances in the world.
I won’t be lighting up today or for that matter tomorrow either.
I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for the notice. I truly have the feeling I’m done forever. The idea of smoking is abhorring to me. But I know you’re right. You made me think of this little post from my old quit smoking site. Not totally apt for the point where you all are in your smoke free journey, but too good not to share. Maybe more for myself today. Day 2333. Have a good smoke free day all.
The Dragon is Still Hibernating
From MutinyFever on 1/14/2009 8:08:21 PM
Long, long ago, in a lifetime far, far away, I smoked just one. Bitter tears I shed when I realized the dragon Addiction still had a lair in my heart. I had thought him dead, after seven winters of starvation. Just one cigarette fortified him and he drew strength. With each puff he felt his claws, yawned his mouth, breathed his fire. The cinders that were his eyes began to smolder, and then he SEIZED ME.
After relapsing on my seven year quit, it took me two years to get quit again. I tried and tried to find the strength to quit again. A dozen tries in those two years. A dozen agonies ending in hours. I tried. I failed. Just one, I’d thought. I mock my own arrogance. So does the dragon.
I was healthy before the relapse, getting a cold every 3 years or so. In the two years of the relapse I had at least a dozen colds, and I developed a persistent cough. Hiking became a problem. I became more sedentary in general. I lost weight and muscle tone. I gave up my yoga practice, which I had been faithful in performing for 5 years. I grew more depressed, and had less in the way of coping mechanisms to relieve that depression.
The dragon loved it. Just one and my sense of self was crushed under his dictatorship. Death was to be my tribute to the dragon’s rulership. At last, though, I’ve reached deep within to find love. Love for myself, my wife, my family, my life. That love sustained me while the dragon roared. I have quit again.
Today is the two thousandth day of my quit. I wrote this long ago, but the dragon still is not dead. He is starving and weak again, but still he watches, still he waits. Just one, he whispers painfully with a long blackened tongue, his voice cracking, shuddering. Just one and I will have you again.
I’ve learned my lesson.
Michael
Cunning, baffling and powerful.
Just like the alcoholic whisper in us lies waiting for complacency, the dragon patiently awaits for its opportunity also…
Great reminders @Cherry_Kisses and Menno 
The Nicodemon, the Wine Witch, the Dragon, Mary Jane…
They’re all the same and they have many other “friends” too
Certain substances / behaviours and ONE is too many and a 1000 are never enough.
Thanks @Mno I needed to read this today.
Let’s keep slaying the dragon!
3pm and I’m struggling but still determined. This seems to be the time of day that the urges ramp up. Have just grabbed a lozenge to try and take the edge off. Really don’t want to go back to smoking. I refuse to spend my money on them and I know that now heading into day 3 they will taste gross and make me feel dizzy and disgusting.
Am going to take my kids outside for a while and keep my wallet at home to hold off any temptation to buy some.
Just for today I am a non smoker and will not pick up a cigarette. I can do this.
