I’m fighting the fantasies of smoking, and romanticizing them.
My fingers aren’t stained yellow and stink, regardless of how hard and long I scrub them.
I can smell things that I haven’t been able to for years.
I can walk farther without being winded… In fact, I can put my socks and shoes on without getting winded!
My clothes don’t stink.
I’m not panicked about not having enough cigarette money.
I’m not constantly trying to figure out when and how I can smoke.
But these thoughts keep popping in my head… Like, wouldn’t a cigarette taste good right now?
And honestly, since it’s been this long — no. They’d taste terrible, and would immediately made me feel like crap.
So why am I still chained to this mindset?
How long before I’m no longer thinking, well I’ll just smoke again after so-and-so dies or I’ll just pick it up at such-and-such time.
Its very similar, if not connected to my alcoholism. Its a daily reprieve. some days are easy, and then out of nowhere a craving comes.
Like my alcoholism the power of the craving depends on how strong my recovery thinking is. and it diminishes when I work my recovery thinking.
Recovery thinking…
All of those things are huge and they are happening. the breathing factor gets even better. That helps me with the cravings more than anything. The breathing factor. We do heal!
I had strong craving yesterday, and sometimes my brain tells me a beer sounds good. Not going back! 37 days is HUGE!
37 days is awesome friend. I am not sure when the magic day is that this all goes away but it does eventually fade out. I can’t say that it totally goes away cause I do get caught off guard with the romanticizing of a smoke or a drink from time to time. It hits me from out of the blue. But like you said - after not smoking for so long you KNOW that the first one will be horrible. Yet still my mind says “just get past the first few” LIKE WHAT Why would I force myself to get back into addiction? Funny how our addict mind works.
You are doing great and have listed so many positives already happening. It keeps getting better. After 3 years I am strengthening my lungs. It is a wonderful feeling.
Like, the first few will taste like shit and once I get past the headaches, it’ll be good again.
Literally abusing myself back into an addiction is crazy; but that’s what makes us recovering addicts.
I cannot let myself slip back into my addiction’s apathetic thought process— I’ve got to stay vigilant.
I’m fortunate that alcohol has never been a vice. I can have a sip or two of an alcoholic beverage and walk away from it, and not think about alcohol once for years at a time. The same with “hard” drugs.
I have not smoked weed in 15 years, and rarely think about it.
But cigarettes? I know I can’t have a single hit. My wife can. She can take a hit off of a cigarette and then be done for years. I’m like whhhaaatt
I guess we all have our own things.
And I know I’ll never be able to have just a single hit.
Hi friends! I just reset my cigarette clock. After 9 months smoke-free I picked up again 3 weeks ago when some really toxic circumstances entered my life and instead of protecting my energy I allowed myself to succumb to it all. I’ve since removed the main trigger (someone got blocked), and now I’m ready to be smoke free again. I learned a lot from that experience and where my defenses weren’t sturdy. I’m doubling down on honoring my energy, my body and my value system. No more nasty smoke….again!!
Man the cousins are all smoking cigars. Not my jam but im kinda craving no sir im gonna get my 2 years nicotine free next week. Fuck you addiction. Not today satan
Joining this thread, because at some point, I am going to have to quit cigarettes too. Definitely have cut back drastically since I gave up alcohol. I just want a better and healthier me.
My initial reaction was to apologize—I know how disappointing it feels to reset any timer after such a long time; but, then I thought no, she may have needed to relapse.
What I mean is, perhaps you needed to realize that cigarettes/smoking didn’t protect you from the toxic situation. YOU protected yourself with maintaining healthy boundaries (and closed and barred doors).
So remember that your addiction is a crafty liar, it wants you to fail. And by coming back to sobriety, you haven’t failed!!!
Why would I force myself to get back into addiction? Funny how our addict mind works.
ODAAT 
no sir im gonna get my 2 years nicotine free next week. Fuck you addiction. Not today satan
